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Song Parodies -> "Uptight, Tough Tiger Mother"

Original Song Title:

"Uptown, Uptempo Woman"

Original Performer:

Randy Edelman

Parody Song Title:

"Uptight, Tough Tiger Mother"

Parody Written by:

Wendy Christopher

The Lyrics

Okay.... not sure how this is going to go down, to be honest!
I confess that I love the original song, but it's not a well-known one, hence the link. I'd been hearing a lot in the news about Amy Chua and her controversial parenting book 'Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother' (where she advocates some pretty strict parental regimes in order to turn out high-achieving offspring) and this song seemed to fit the mood for a parody about it. Is it funny? Not sure... it was one of those things that, once I started writing it, I kind of had to finish it because I couldn't let it go.
I thought I’d study parenting
I wanted to do well
The Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mom
Was the book that rang my bell
I looked down at my baby boy
Crawling on the floor
He was too young to understand it
But now I wanted more

So I snatched away his teddy
And looked at him and smiled
And I said
“Okay, I’m an uptight, tough tiger mother
Make me proud my stand-out child”

I made him learn piano
Soon as he could reach the stool
And I gave him homework
Long before he started school
No tv or computers
He didn’t get weekends
He didn’t really need them
‘Cause I stopped him having friends

I made him stand in rainstorms
Each time he got riled
Was an uptight, tough tiger mother
To my learned-up, geeky child

Well the teenage years were rocky
He was starting to rebel
Told him if he didn’t toe the line
I’d make his life pure hell
Vetoed having girlfriends
Then I banned him from school plays
And yelled at him and called him names
When he didn’t get straight A’s

Then I told him “You’re a failure,
And that just drives me wild -
This uptight, tough tiger mother
Has a bummed-out, deadbeat child!”

And then he said he’d got a job
But he wouldn’t say much more
I followed him to Soho*
Through a burlesque club back door
Then they started up the music
And he burst into song
And gyrated round a pole
In a tight gold sequinned thong!

Is this the way he thanks me?
I lost my rag and asked why
He said ”Why?
“You’re my uptight, tough tiger mother
I’m your burned-out browbeat child”

“Don’t be uptight, tough tiger mother
At your buns-out, show-sweet child!”
*Notorious red-light area in London

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 2

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   2

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Old Man Ribber - February 15, 2011 - Report this comment
Wendy - Not sure? This is a wonderful tale of unforseen consequences. There is also a forseen (by me) consequence - 5/5/5. Nicely done. ;D
Wendy Christopher - February 17, 2011 - Report this comment
Thank you for your lovely comment, Ribber. I wasn't expecting much interest in this one because the OS is so obscure. I guess I was wondering if people would finds it sad rather than funny; I certainly had my four-year-old son in the back of my mind the whole time I was writing it. Fortunately I don't think I'd make a very good Tiger Mother... I'm more Pussycat Mother I think :^)

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