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Song Parodies -> "We Wants the Precious"

Original Song Title:

"We Are the Champions"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Queen

Parody Song Title:

"We Wants the Precious"

Parody Written by:

John Harvey

The Lyrics

This parody is sung by Gollum from Tolkien's "Lord of the Rings".
We gots the blues
We wants what's mine
We wants our precious
Middle Earth's on the line
Nasty elf Cakeses
We tried a few
We wishes Sam would just get off of our case
His life will conclude

And we say 'Gollum, Gollum, Gollum!

We wants the precious my friends
And we'll squeeze the hobbits 'til they's dead
We wants the precious
We wants the precious
We likeses master but we wants the precious for our own

We gotsed captured
In that Baradur
It brought me pain and torture and everything that goes with it
Thanks to Sauron

We'll bite off their noses
They haveses no clues
We will wrap our little fingers around their neckses
And that is what we choose

And we say 'Gollum, Gollum, Gollum!

We wants the precious my friend
And we'll let her kill them in the end
We wants the precious
We wants the precious
No time for hobbits
'Cause we wants the precious for ourselves

Your Vote & Comment Counts

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.2
How Funny: 4.5
Overall Rating: 4.4

Total Votes: 36

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   3
 3
 3
 
 2   2
 0
 0
 
 3   1
 0
 1
 
 4   7
 6
 8
 
 5   23
 27
 24
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Rice Cube - February 25, 2003 - Report this comment
This is a very good "giggle" song :-D
John Harvey - February 25, 2003 - Report this comment
Thank you for your comment, Rice Cube. While I don't share your political views, I think your parodies are pretty funny. I don't read the political ones, (I might effect your ratings) but the ones I do read are very funny. I like your Master of the House parody a lot. You might have read my comment about it.
Rice Cube - February 25, 2003 - Report this comment
Ain't no thang, fellow American ;-)
John Harvey - February 25, 2003 - Report this comment
If you voted on my parody, I encourage you to leave your comments. I want to become a better parody writer. I need your input. I need criticisms. Help me out. Thank you.
different sort of freak - February 25, 2003 - Report this comment
I love this! I am a huge Queen dork, and this is about my fave character from LOTR! I loved how you made this in first person and wrote it like it was really Smeagle talking.
John Harvey - February 25, 2003 - Report this comment
Believe me, the Smeagle talking was the hardest part of writing the parody. I'm glad you liked it. I'm working on another LOTR parody. This one's about Aragorn, but I won't give it away.
Stray Pooch - February 26, 2003 - Report this comment
LOL. Nice job. I think the essence of a "character" parody is to capture the personallity of that character. You have done that perfectly. There were a few lines that could have been a bit tighter, (e.g. "and that is what we choose" could use some tweaking and "Baradur" does not rhyme with "Sauron") but that's just a technical observation. The parody is funny enough to get away with a few minor points. Overall just a good, good parody!
Golden Pirana - March 03, 2003 - Report this comment
Very nice. You really did get that "gollum" feeling.
John Harvey - March 03, 2003 - Report this comment
Merci, Pirana d'ore.
Rice Cube - March 03, 2003 - Report this comment
Here's a thought, John...if you ever decide to do a revision on this (not that it's necessary) you might consider doing something with that line that's right before the chorus...do you know what I'm talking about? Where it's like a gospel choir and they're going "And they go on and on and on" or something like that? :-D
John Harvey - March 03, 2003 - Report this comment
Ok, Rice Cube. Insert this right before the Chorus: "And we say Gollum, Gollum, Gollum!"
Shannon - March 04, 2003 - Report this comment
Oooh...We lovess thiss, doessn't we, preciouss? HAHA! I love Smeagol/Gollum. WELL DONE, J.H!
Little Lion - March 18, 2003 - Report this comment
HILARIOUS!! Gollum would be proud
pheonix - April 21, 2003 - Report this comment
this is one damn good song, i love LOTR & queen's cool. write on!
Erin - July 04, 2003 - Report this comment
All right! I love both Queen and Smeagle! Great parody! SMEAGLE DA SCHIZO GUY RULES THE UNIVERSE!!! ^_^
Harrit - August 24, 2003 - Report this comment
This was awesome! The song was hilarious AND you kept it in character the whole time! ~ME~
Hurricane64 - September 01, 2003 - Report this comment
All your LOTR parodies are great! This is best cause its about the best character. Aragorn and Samwise are great too. Do one for Gimli! that'd be cool!
birdboy2000 - September 01, 2003 - Report this comment
Though I don't know the original in it's entirety, it was still a hilarious parody.

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