Song Parodies -> We Wants the Precious

Original Song Title:	"We Are the Champions"
Original Performer:	Queen

Parody Song Title:	"We Wants the Precious"
Parody Written by:	John Harvey

This parody is sung by Gollum from Tolkien's "Lord of the Rings".

We gots the blues
We wants what's mine
We wants our precious
Middle Earth's on the line
Nasty elf Cakeses
We tried a few
We wishes Sam would just get off of our case
His life will conclude

And we say 'Gollum, Gollum, Gollum!

We wants the precious my friends
And we'll squeeze the hobbits 'til they's dead
We wants the precious
We wants the precious
We likeses master but we wants the precious for our own

We gotsed captured
In that Baradur
It brought me pain and torture and everything that goes with it
Thanks to Sauron

We'll bite off their noses
They haveses no clues
We will wrap our little fingers around their neckses
And that is what we choose

And we say 'Gollum, Gollum, Gollum!

We wants the precious my friend
And we'll let her kill them in the end
We wants the precious
We wants the precious
No time for hobbits
'Cause we wants the precious for ourselves

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User Comments Follow...

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Rice Cube - February 25, 2003 - Report this comment

This is a very good "giggle" song :-D

John Harvey - February 25, 2003 - Report this comment

Thank you for your comment, Rice Cube. While I don't share your political views, I think your parodies are pretty funny. I don't read the political ones, (I might effect your ratings) but the ones I do read are very funny. I like your Master of the House parody a lot. You might have read my comment about it.

Rice Cube - February 25, 2003 - Report this comment

Ain't no thang, fellow American ;-)

John Harvey - February 25, 2003 - Report this comment

If you voted on my parody, I encourage you to leave your comments. I want to become a better parody writer. I need your input. I need criticisms. Help me out. Thank you.

different sort of freak - February 25, 2003 - Report this comment

I love this! I am a huge Queen dork, and this is about my fave character from LOTR! I loved how you made this in first person and wrote it like it was really Smeagle talking.

John Harvey - February 25, 2003 - Report this comment

Believe me, the Smeagle talking was the hardest part of writing the parody. I'm glad you liked it. I'm working on another LOTR parody. This one's about Aragorn, but I won't give it away.

Stray Pooch - February 26, 2003 - Report this comment

LOL. Nice job. I think the essence of a "character" parody is to capture the personallity of that character. You have done that perfectly. There were a few lines that could have been a bit tighter, (e.g. "and that is what we choose" could use some tweaking and "Baradur" does not rhyme with "Sauron") but that's just a technical observation. The parody is funny enough to get away with a few minor points. Overall just a good, good parody!

Golden Pirana - March 03, 2003 - Report this comment

Very nice. You really did get that "gollum" feeling.

John Harvey - March 03, 2003 - Report this comment

Merci, Pirana d'ore.

Rice Cube - March 03, 2003 - Report this comment

Here's a thought, John...if you ever decide to do a revision on this (not that it's necessary) you might consider doing something with that line that's right before the chorus...do you know what I'm talking about? Where it's like a gospel choir and they're going "And they go on and on and on" or something like that? :-D

John Harvey - March 03, 2003 - Report this comment

Ok, Rice Cube. Insert this right before the Chorus: "And we say Gollum, Gollum, Gollum!"

Shannon - March 04, 2003 - Report this comment

Oooh...We lovess thiss, doessn't we, preciouss? HAHA! I love Smeagol/Gollum. WELL DONE, J.H!

Little Lion - March 18, 2003 - Report this comment

HILARIOUS!! Gollum would be proud

pheonix - April 21, 2003 - Report this comment

this is one damn good song, i love LOTR & queen's cool. write on!

Erin - July 04, 2003 - Report this comment

All right! I love both Queen and Smeagle! Great parody! SMEAGLE DA SCHIZO GUY RULES THE UNIVERSE!!! ^_^

Harrit - August 24, 2003 - Report this comment

This was awesome! The song was hilarious AND you kept it in character the whole time! ~ME~

Hurricane64 - September 01, 2003 - Report this comment

All your LOTR parodies are great! This is best cause its about the best character. Aragorn and Samwise are great too. Do one for Gimli! that'd be cool!

birdboy2000 - September 01, 2003 - Report this comment

Though I don't know the original in it's entirety, it was still a hilarious parody.

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Song Parodies -> We Wants the Precious

"We Are the Champions"

Queen

"We Wants the Precious"

John Harvey

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