Oh, we all love to watch them fight
Oh, we don't care who's wrong or right
Oh, then Steve comes and throws them out
That Springer show
This is what TV's all about

Hey, if you're just a skinny lad
But you're doing something bad
Well, I think that's what the people wanna see
If you've got a big fat fanny
Like to dress up like a nanny
Call our number
24/7 and toll free

If you've been roving with your hands
And you've lost your wedding band
But the women you were with was not your wife
You lose points if it's your cousin
I get those here by the dozen
If it's your grandma, you'll be a Springer guest for life!

Oh, we all love to watch them fight
Oh, we don't care who's wrong or right
Oh, then Steve comes and throws them out
That Springer show
This is what TV's all about

If you've had threesomes in your home
When your wife was all alone
And you'd like to clear your conscience, feel free
Just remember when you're there
And your wife clocks you with a chair
You're on every TV in this country!
(In Stereo!)

Oh, you know you all love to watch them fight
Oh, we don't care who's wrong or right
Oh, then Steve comes and throws them out
That Springer show
This is what TVs all about, yeah
That Springer show
That's where they let it all hang out

(Fat bottomed girl takes off her skirt)

Please put it back inside!!