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Song Parodies -> "Jolie, She's Enraptured Me"

Original Song Title:

"Bohemian Rhapsody"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Queen

Parody Song Title:

"Jolie, She's Enraptured Me"

Parody Written by:

Rick Cormier

The Lyrics

She's not my real wife
I'm just a fan, you see
Knots pin my hands tied
Oh, I'm draped in a phallusy
Hopin' it flies. Shook up and surprised, I'd be

Prime, lusty boy-toy. I'd keep the nymph happy

She'd pause, she'd see me dumb, see me slow
Little guy, little dough

Anyway, her limbs flow.
Dunces leering at her
Do me! Do me!

Lara, could kill a man
You could stun, undressed, in bed. Make it bigger. Wow! It's red!

Lara, waif with bust undone
See how I've grown.mad, gone on holiday
Lara, ooh. In a dream, I take you high
I climb your back. Your glen, it's mine to furrow

Tally-ho, tally-ho! Even hunting gear, she flatters

Cool mate. My kind of fun
Men give her valentines,
Naughty cakes and balls of twine
Could die from her body. I'm hot to know
Can't believe this doll's behind. Her face is smooth
Lara, ooh, (anyway, her limbs flow) My, you haunt a guy
I'm tongue-tied, fish-eyed, never been boinked at all

(Guitar solo, leading to stacatto piano)

I'd squeal a little from stiletto heel to groin
(Such a tush! Such a tush! You don't let this fan dangle)
(Wonderful, exciting! Thank you for inviting me.)
(Gonna lay, oh) Gonna lay, oh (Gonna lay, oh) Gonna lay, oh (Gonna lay, oh) Big, I grow
Bag nymph and go (oh-oh-oh-oh)

Fine busted boy-toy. So bloody lovely!
(She must have more toys than a store, probably)
(Carefree, her life's just one long shopping spree)

Squeeze me some, squeeze me low. Can I have a go?

Bradzilla! (No, you let that monster go!)
(Tell him no!) Bradzilla! (You let that monster go!)
(Tell him no!) Bradzilla! (You let that monster go!)
(Tell him no!) Will not tell him no!
(Tell him no!) Will not tell him no! (Tell him no!)
No, no, no, no, no, no, no!

I wanna see her, wanna see her. (Wanna see her, let me go)

She fills the tub. Little Neville doubles size for me, for me, for me

(Guitar )

Oh, you stink! You disowned me, "cause Pitt is your guy
Oh, you stink! You just shove me and leave, free to fly
Oh, lady. Want your kiss, do me lady
Lust, gotta let out. Lust, gotta let right out right here

(Guitar crescendo to climax and then, let down, as reality finally sets in)

(Ooh, oh yeah, oh yeah)

Never will have at her. Just a fantasy
Neville will not have her
Never will have at her, not me

Anyway, her limbs flow

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 20

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 2   0
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 3   0
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 5   20
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User Comments

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alvin rhodes - May 23, 2006 - Report this comment
captures the enthusiasm/angst of the OS well
Stephen Harrington - May 23, 2006 - Report this comment
555, this is very funny and just made me think of my fetish.
Michael Pacholek - May 23, 2006 - Report this comment
Another Jolie good show. Maybe you can get her to adopt you and play Woody-and-Soon-Yi with her.
AFW - May 23, 2006 - Report this comment
Very clever and funny fantasizing, here...You have mastered your Croft..555
Rick C - May 23, 2006 - Report this comment
Thank you Alvin, Stephen, MP (good idea) and AFW.
Cat - May 23, 2006 - Report this comment
Wow! Excellent, Rick! TMGLTM but "Bradzilla" especially had me howling.
Red Ant - May 23, 2006 - Report this comment
Great work Rick!, and "Tally-ho, tally-ho!" choked me up. Awesome title sub too. 5s.
Rick C - May 23, 2006 - Report this comment
Thanks Cat and Red Ant. I had fun with this one. The original is one of my favorite songs.
Stuart McArthur - May 23, 2006 - Report this comment
whoa, VERY nice, Rick! Normally I'm not a fan of syllable-for-syllable matching and its consequent bizarre line results (at the expense of a conversationally structured line), but not in this case - it made it funnier, given the OS, and the funniness was IN the bizarre results (ie laughing WITH your contorted attempts) - the OS's bizarre lines can take a bit of credit here too - "Bradzilla" was a classic, and "Little Neville doubles size for me" and even the title sub was great - big LOLs from me - 555
Rick C - May 24, 2006 - Report this comment
Thanks, Stu. You're right about the OS's bizarre lines. That made it a little easier for me to be bizarre and get away with it.
Larry Hensley - May 24, 2006 - Report this comment
Well written
Rick C - May 24, 2006 - Report this comment
Thanks Larry. :-)
Spaff.com - May 30, 2006 - Report this comment
What Stuart said, verbatim. You'd better be careful, though, or you might just inspire an ENTIRE MUSICAL full of nothing but Angelina parodies. (I have dibs on "Namibian Rhapsody.")
Rick C - June 01, 2006 - Report this comment
Hmmm, an entire musical of nothing but Angelina parodies? BRILLIANT!
Agrimorfee - October 26, 2006 - Report this comment
(ABC3) Good idea, very ingenius, to the point of "dear god, how does he do those ryhmes so flawlessly?" But "Bradzilla" is what hit me hardest. 555
Johnny D - October 26, 2006 - Report this comment
(ABC) TOTAL GENIUS. 555.
Stuart McArthur - October 27, 2006 - Report this comment
yes, I recently referred to my admiration for this one on the MB - and it's for all its "brilliantly stupid" (thanks for that expression JD) "nutso" (thanks for that word, Kristof) lines like "You could stun, undressed, in bed. Make it bigger. Wow! It's red!" - that just makes my eyes water with laughter....
Matthias - October 27, 2006 - Report this comment
Wow..... So ya never got to have her, what a shame, I suppose there's always J-Lo...
The Charnstar - October 28, 2006 - Report this comment
(ABC) Masterly Crofted. But... I heard another song by you... It said differently (she dumped you man)
Red Ant - November 05, 2006 - Report this comment
(ABC3J) What Red Ant said. What everyone else said, too. Top funny write, Rick
Jack Wilson - November 05, 2006 - Report this comment
(ABC3J) So THIS is what inspired that Brnagelina thingamajiggopera? AWESOME! 555
Michael McVey - November 07, 2006 - Report this comment
Hee hee hee. We'll have to raid the tomb for some 5's.---MM
Kristof Robertson - November 08, 2006 - Report this comment
(ABC3J) How did I miss this one? What Stuart said...syllable matching actually makes this far funnier because it's absurdity matches the absurdity of the OS. Classic. "Bag nymph and go" slayed me. 555+
Jeff Reuben - November 09, 2006 - Report this comment
Incredible effort on a classic song. Many great lines ("I'd squeal a little from stiletto heel to groin" was one of my favorite)
Adagio - November 10, 2006 - Report this comment
What a fantasy! And more...so many lines I loved. : )

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