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Song Parodies -> "Bohemian Rhapsody, AD 1278 version"

Original Song Title:

"Bohemian Rhapsody"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"Bohemian Rhapsody, AD 1278 version"

Parody Written by:

Susanna Viljanen

The Lyrics

Now has any of the Bohemian Rhapsody parodies really dealt with Bohemia? This is my version of the battle of Moravsko Pole 1278 and Ottokar II Premysl, King of Bohemia
Is this the real fight?
bloodshed and carnagee?
I've camped on a stream bank
good ground for the cavalry
Put on your gear
your armour and helms and see -
Austrians have come, with knights, no infanty
and they are iron-clad, intentions bad
crested shields, take the field
Anyway the fight goes
decides whom the Empire belongs

M'lady, I've been clad in mail
I have taken now the field
I have lion on my shield
M'lady, fight has just begun
and now I think I'm winning all the way
M'lady o -o - o - o
you made me take the field;
if I've not won this battle for tomorrow
I'll be gone, I'll be gone
and you won't be the Empress...

Too late - my Poles are done
it shivers down my spine
my troops are breaking all the time
Giddyap, everybody - now we gotta go
commit household knights and really crush the foe
M'lady, o - o - o - o
I don't want to die,
I sometimes wish I'd never wed you at all -
(Margit's gone, Margit's gone
as if it really matters)

I see a horde of German knights clad in mail,
charging in, charging in, will this be the final breakthrough
Thunderbolt and lightning - lances are a-striking - crash!
Striking high! Striking low!
Striking high! Striking low!
Striking high - thus swordplay goes
But I am the Czech king and I want to be the Mr. Big -
He's Iron Golden King from the Czech monarchy -
Spare him his life from this carnage and grief
[Defeated are Bohemians, charged by Hungarians]
Outflanked! no-,we will not let you go-let him go-
Outflanked! we will not let you go-let him go
Outflanked! we will not let you go-let me go
Will not let you go-let me go
Will not let you go let me go
Gimme horse, gimme horse, gimme horse and let me go-
Rudolf Habsburg had reserves put aside for me,for me,for me-

So I thought I could win here and get me the Crown
So I thought I could sit on the Imperial Throne!
Oh M'Lady - can't do this for M'Lady
Just gotta get out-just gotta get right outta here-

We have been defeated
Anyone can see,
we have been defeated
death has been the fate to me

To Habsburgs the crown goes!
Ottokar II Przemysl (1253-1278) was known as the "Iron and Golden King" of Bohemia. His undoing was being married to queen Kunigunda, who was a real Lady Machbeth, and she persuaded him to pursue the Imperial crown. This proved to be too large a chunk to swallow, and Bohemians were utterly defeated by Austrian-Hungarian army at Moravsko Pole (Marchfeld) 1278. Ottokar himself was killed in action. The battle resulted Rudolf I Habsburg being crowned as the Holy Roman Emperor and the beginning of the Habsburg dynasty. History might have been kinder to Ottokar, if his boyhood love, the pious Princess Margit of Hungary, had wed him instead of swearing the nun's oath and leaving the royal palace for monastery.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 21

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   1
 4   0
 5   19

User Comments

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Stuart McArthur - February 12, 2005 - Report this comment
well, this just deserves 5s, Susanna, m'lady! esp. loved "He’s Iron Golden King from the Czech monarchy" and all the similarly historically correct references - fantastic - 555
John Jenkins - February 12, 2005 - Report this comment
It definitely is bad news when your Poles are down. But, excellent job, Susanna, and 5s for putting Bohemia into the Rhapsody.
Kat - February 13, 2005 - Report this comment
Just one thing, Susanna. How the heck do you know this?
Susanna Viljanen - February 13, 2005 - Report this comment
it is due to one of my odd hobbies, history re-enactment. I'm interested in medieval history, and I'm member of Society of Creative Anachronism. When I visited Prague a couple of years ago, I of course bought a truckload of books about Czech history and visited the Medieval tourist attractions, including the Krivoklat castle. I learned about the Premysl family and king Ottokar as well.
Ravyn Rant - February 13, 2005 - Report this comment
Wow, Susanna! Finally, a truly Bohemian Rhapsody. Yay, SCA!
Michael Pacholek - February 13, 2005 - Report this comment
Since John J took one of the obvious jokes, I'll take the other: Czech-mate!
Susanna Viljanen - February 14, 2005 - Report this comment
Ravyn Rant, check out my parody "Holiday with SCA", original being "Working for the MCA" by Lynyrd Skynyrd at
Kristof Robertson - February 14, 2005 - Report this comment
Susanna...I wish I'd learned history like this...great! 555
Rock Princess - February 14, 2005 - Report this comment
Steve K. - February 14, 2005 - Report this comment
I wonder if you also learned any of the Czech language over there, because "m'lady" resembles the word "mlady", which I think is the Czech word for "young", because it is similar to the Polish word "mlody".
Jeff Reuben - February 14, 2005 - Report this comment
Very well done! Tough song, and an original take.
Meriadoc - February 14, 2005 - Report this comment
Fantastic job! I love parodies like this!
Agrimorfee - February 14, 2005 - Report this comment
Kat - February 20, 2005 - Report this comment
By the way Susanna, could you check my parody of "12 days of Christmas" parody? No one's looked looked at it in 2 months!
Red Ant - May 03, 2005 - Report this comment
I'm speechless. All I can say is 5's.

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