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Song Parodies -> "Atkins Diet Rhapsody"

Original Song Title:

"Bohemian Rhapsody"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"Atkins Diet Rhapsody"

Parody Written by:

A Room Full Of Monkeys

The Lyrics

A collaborative parody experiment from the messageboard by Rick Duncan, Leo Jay, Meriadoc, Claude Prez, Phil Alexander, and Johnny D. (P.S. Claude Prez - I did as you requested and modified your contribution - Thanks, Johnny D)
Is this the veal knife?
Is this just fancy meat?

Got me a lamb pie
L'il Bo Peep caved to bribery

Goodbye to fries,
And goodbye to rye and wheat...

Carbos no more, boy
They are a sin for me
So the cakes and pies have to go
Don't ask why -- I don't know
But I'm on At-kins, so
I am forced to follow routine... routine...

Doctor, just ate a ham
Put the breading in the John
Pulled the handle now it's gone

Doctor, how I craved that bun
But now I've gone and thrown it all away....

Doctor, oooo
Didn't mean to eat those fries
I'll get right back on Atkins by tomorrow
Carbo on, carbo on, as if nothing makes me fatter

Filet, mignon has come
And liver browned in wine
Meatpies baking with key lime
But fries, taste so yummy - I've got to go
Gotta get me secret fries, they taste so good

Doctor, oooo - (that's the way Atkins goes)
I'm a fatso guy
I'd love to eat a planet-size Matzoh ball

I want to be a little sliver of a man...
Gastric douche! Gastric douche! Or look like Marlon Brando --
(He was once a slight thing, now he's huge and frightening me...)

Meat and Mayo, Meat and Mayo
Meat and Mayo, Meat and Mayo
Meat and Mayo? Way to go! Magnifico!

I'm just a soy bean, nobody loves me

It's just a soy bean, substitute carnity
Sorghum is rife with gross sucrosity

Carnivore overload - feel like I'll explode

DY-NA-MEAT! OH! I feel like I'll explode!
DY-NA-MEAT! I feel like I'll explode!
DY-NA-MEAT! I feel like I'll explode!
Feel like I'll explode!
Feel like I'll explode!

Feel like I'll explode, here I go,

Said Doctor Atkins, Doctor Atkins, Doctor Atkins: "Eat a toad!"

Old Dr. A. has a pot roast put aside for me, for me, for meeeee

(major meat-beating interlude)

So you think you can feed me on protein and fat?
So you think carbohydrate is what's problemat-
-ic Atkins! But you're dead Dr. Atkins
Just gotta cut out, just gotta cut out all this meat!

Carbos make me fatter
Anyone can see
Carbos make me fatter
So I'll fill my platter
With meat

...that's the way Fatkins goes...

Your Vote & Comment Counts

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.2
How Funny: 4.2
Overall Rating: 4.2

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   4

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Jack Wilson - June 08, 2004 - Report this comment
Great job again! 555!
Ravyn Rant - June 08, 2004 - Report this comment
Three 5s for the Monkeys! You've disproved the maxim about too many cooks spoiling the soup.
Rod Worden - June 08, 2004 - Report this comment
Hilarious and LOL in places, folks! Fat with great lines!
PsyChoTik - June 08, 2004 - Report this comment
Im fat.... BUT I FELL OVER LAUGHING!!! great job!!!
Adagio - June 08, 2004 - Report this comment
Good one, you all! 5's
Tim K. - June 08, 2004 - Report this comment
A masterpiece! Too many good lines to count, but my favorite had to be replacing "Galileo" with "Meat and Mayo." Superb job and keep up the excellent work!
alvin rhodes - June 08, 2004 - Report this comment
meaty !
Leah Lockhart - June 08, 2004 - Report this comment
Stellar!!! ROFLMAO!!! "I'm just a soy bean nobody loves me." I love it. "Meat and Mayo," very clever. Great job.
Claude Prez - June 08, 2004 - Report this comment
Hey, hey, we're the monkeys. And people say we're funky and brown. Great stuff all, esp. with the expert assembly job there, Johnny.
Monkey C. - June 09, 2004 - Report this comment
Argh, the last part of "meat and mayo..." should have been "Meat and Mayo, hold the roll: Anti-hero...
The Soybean segment is classic.
Johnny D - June 09, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks, Claude. 5's for us, natch. Hey hey, we're the monkeys, and here comes our next parody, so you better get ready, we're hairy troubadours of glee.
Ol' John Brown - June 09, 2004 - Report this comment
More fun than a barrel full o' monkeys!!! Great job again!!!
Merry the Soybean - June 10, 2004 - Report this comment
Eeeeeee! I got kudos on my lines! This was fun!
Peregrin - June 10, 2004 - Report this comment
Excellent! Beans are always full of goodness, Merry!***
Chris Bodily TM - June 12, 2004 - Report this comment
I figured I'd listen to the recording of "Bohemian Rhapsody" while I read this parody, and it was flawless: The pacing, the cleverness of the lyrics, the sharp wit, the courage to tackle Atkins. I award you all the fives I can give you.
Charlie Decker - June 18, 2004 - Report this comment
Way to go! I LOVED the Marlon Brando line. One of the better of the 143,000 Bohemian parodies on the site :-)
I wish I was Fifi Trixibelle - July 24, 2004 - Report this comment
A song that would wanna make Lisa Simpson Throw Up!!! In other words, it means its a bloody good song!!! I'm getting to be a pro at this, Just like my Dad, I wish I was Bob Geldof!!!
neutrino_cannon - August 19, 2004 - Report this comment
This is incredible, it fits perfectly! That, and it somehow captures the turmoil and torment of the original in a very easy-to-relate to context. Oh yeah that subjective junk aside, it's really funny. All my five are belong to this.

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