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Song Parodies -> "DiTech Dot Comedy"

Original Song Title:

"Bohemian Rhapsody"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"DiTech Dot Comedy"

Parody Written by:

Adagio and Guy DiRito

The Lyrics

The TV has been doing DiTech Dot Com commercials with that wimpy banker Ned to death. We thought it just screamed for a parody. We apologise to non US readers who probably never had the pleasure to view one of these ads. And we apologise to allthe US readers who are being subjected to this series of knuckleheaded commercials.
Don't go with Met Life,
Bad credit history?
Your loan gets denied,
You can divest from your reel-it-y.
Those credit guys can scheme and apprise, ew wee.
So you're a poor boy needing some equity,
Because the bills they come, cash will go, bills so high, poor cash flow,
Assets have now thinned so, your wallet was fatter you plea, you plea.

Old Ned, a banker man,
He so wants to lend you bread, profit figures stay in red.
Mama, won't borrow from son,
Just had to call DiTech Dot Com today.
Mama, ooh, why'd you make your own son cry?
Why did you go to DiTech Dot Com to borrow?
Paper's drawn, paper's drawn, she just makes her own son sadder.

Great rate, Di-Tech dot com,
Delivers, makes Ned whine, Can't get anyone to sign.
Even his old mama he can't lend dough,
Cause the rate that Ned's bank offers hits the roof.
Mama, ooh, that old Di-Tech guy,
Gets all my fish, I never will learn at all.

Ned wants to help you out of debt with his plan,
Bankrupt proof, bankrupt proof, all you're debts he'll untangle.
Fiscal jolt inviting, creditors igniting me.
(Save the dayo.) save the dayo. (save the dayo.) save the dayo, save the dayo, DiTech-o.
Terrifico, I'm just a poor boy but I have equity,
He's just a poor boy let him hock his realty.
This way he won't need declare bank-rupt-cy.
Cheesy scum, Sleasy ho, where is my escrow?
We'll bill ya, we control you're escrow.
(My escrow!) We'll bill ya! we control your escrow.
(My escrow!) We'll bill ya! we control your escrow.
(My escrow!) control your escrow.
(My escrow!) control your escrow (my escrow.) Ah.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
(Like diarrhea, diarrhea.) diarrhea, how they blow.
They all blame Shrub for the fiscal train we ride you see, you see, you see.

They can just wink the loan fee and get it to fly,
And they think they can raise interest rates to the sky.
Just maybe, get to eat this week maybe.
Your house will be gone if your ass should slip out of gear.

Money is what matters, DiTech is the key,
Ned's marks always scatter,
Money's all that matters you see.

Loan deals never get closed.

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 11

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   11

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Rick D - October 16, 2003 - Report this comment
Man, this must be one of the most parodies songs of all time. Congrats for finding a new angle. I like what you both do.
Meriadoc - October 16, 2003 - Report this comment is familiar, but I can't quite place it. It must have been so bad I mentally blocked it out. Unlike this parody which is both good AND memorable. Well done you two!
Claude Prez - October 16, 2003 - Report this comment
Yeah, what they said. "Cheesy scum, sleazy ho" was great.
wdh - October 16, 2003 - Report this comment
Well done!
Adagio - October 16, 2003 - Report this comment
Thanks everyone! :D
Guy DiRito - October 17, 2003 - Report this comment
Thanks to all who voted and commented. This was really fun to do.
Robert J. Pagliaro - October 17, 2003 - Report this comment
Nice write - like the one who chews Kudzu, never saw the cm but - it doesn't really matter to me.
Guy - October 18, 2003 - Report this comment
Maybe these commercials are concentrated in certain areas. It is done to death here in South Texas. I must have heard this cm. twenty five times when I was writing this parody alone. Of course Texas is fairly new to the home equity loan market. Home equity loans were not allowed by law here just a few years ago.

Just curious, wonder how many people actually have seen this series of commercials. They usually end with a whiney cry from Ned saying 'Oh no, lost another loan to DiTech'. Please comment if you have seen this cm and tell me what state or area.
John Jenkins - October 19, 2003 - Report this comment
Great parody. I hear a lot of Ditech Dot Com radio commercials, but I don't think that I have seen the TV commercials.
Adagio - October 19, 2003 - Report this comment
Lucky you, JJ..and thanks.
Melhi - October 20, 2003 - Report this comment
(voted a couple of days or so ago) They show the commercials in the midwest market. Good job (which is something that poor guy won't be hearing.)
Wild Man - October 21, 2003 - Report this comment
Wow! I go on vacation and you two pair up. I feel like I've been missing out on some real good parodies. I have some catching up to do. Great job!
Johnny D - October 24, 2003 - Report this comment
and her buddy Mister Guy
get three,
of these (5),
, from me !

You guys did great! You guys ARE great!
Bohemian Rhapsody just goes on and on and on - may its parodies never cease !! I LOVE IT !!
Adagio - October 24, 2003 - Report this comment
Thanks a lot, Johnny! :D
Agrimorfee - April 26, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC05) Wow. I'm not familiar with DiTech and the ads you are talking about here, but just the same you made me learn it and laugh out loud! Well-paced, made the ryhthm fit the concept well. This was very, very good as Boho Rhaps go.
Adagio - April 26, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks a bunch, Agrimorfee!!!
Rex - April 26, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC 2005) I'm all too familiar with the ads up here in north Texas. Great send up.
Charlie Decker - April 27, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC) Great job with one of the holy grails of parody writing. I'm very sick of the ads, but I'm not sick of this parody!
Adagio - May 02, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks Rex and Charlie.
Melhi - May 02, 2005 - Report this comment
D: And if this wins the D-round, I'll be able to say "I lost another one to Ditech!" Hee hee!
Johnny D - May 05, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC) Still a Bohemian classic!
Stuart McArthur - May 06, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC) - Excellent! - "Fiscal jolt inviting, creditors igniting me" - just one of many dazzling lines - 555
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - May 07, 2005 - Report this comment
Two parody heavyweights boxing this parody out with fiscals raised.
Adam Eccleshall - May 08, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC) Excellent :-)
Adagio - May 08, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks Johnny, Stu, Luke and Adam. :)
Scathe - May 08, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC-D) You'd think that banker would have gotten canned by now.
MysteryGoat - May 08, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC) Sweet job!!
Arwen - May 08, 2005 - Report this comment
ABC--this is great!
Kristof Robertson - May 09, 2005 - Report this comment
You guys are making my head hurt! ;-) 555
Adagio - May 09, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks Scathe, MG, Arwen, and Kristof.

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