[Hey! Shut up!!! I'm trying to study!...I got a Trapper Keeper to keep my papers in!!]

I got a Trapper Keeper to keep my papers in
I got a Pocket Protector to hold my pens in
When I'm a good boy, I'm on the honor roll often

I've got Velcro keeping my shoes on
Got those Carpal Tunnel Blues
I've got 13 computers and disks to type programs on

I'm in the Chess Club
I never make a flub
I know how to spell photosynthesization

And I also know
When I try to dial through
To get a date with you
You'll say that you're not home

I've got the stereotypical greasy hair
And the obligatory thick eyeglasses
While I wear my favorite plaid shirt

I've got Chemistry stains on my fingers
I'm getting a scholarship, I'm hopin'
I've got a grand piano on which I play Chopin

I've got little beady eyes
And yet I never lie
I'd never like to

Oooh gosh, I never dial the phone
'Cause you'll say that you're not home
Would you like to go to the Prom?
I promise not to bring my Mom