The Trial

Good morning, Tom your honor.
The crown will plainly show
The customer who now stands before you
Was caught blue-lighted shopping K-Mart
Finding discounts of an almost normal nature;
This will not do.
Call the GAP Worker!

I always said she'd come to no good
In the store your honor.
If they'd let me have my way I could
Have shopped her into shape.
But my hands were tied,
The managers and stylists
Let her get away with murder.
Let me badger her today?

Daisy,
Clothes in the attic I am lazy,
Truly done wishing.
They must have taken my wardrobe away.
Hazy, cells without static she is crazy.

You little twat you're in it now,
I hope they tow away your car.
You should have parked with me more often
Than you did, but no! You had to go
Your own way, have you purchased any
Shoes up lately?
Just five minutes, Hil-figer,
Me and her, alone.

Baaaaaaaaaabe!
Come to mother baby, let me hold you
In my arms.
M'lud I never wanted her to
Get in any trouble.
Why'd she ever have to leave me?
Tom, your honor, let me take her home.

Maybe,
Under the table, I am wavy,
Bars in the window.
There must have been a whore there in the mall
When I came in.
Crazy, under the rainbow, he is crazy.

The evidence before the court is
Incontrovertible, there's no need for
The weary to retire.
In all my years of shopping
I have never heard before
Of someone more deserving
Of the full penalty of law.
The way you made them suffer,
Your exquisite guy and mother,
Fills me with the urge to defecate!
"Hey Judge! Spit on him!"
Since, my friend, you have revealed your
Deepest fear,
I sentence you to be exposed before
Your mirrors.
Tear down the mall!