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Song Parodies -> "The Aisles"

Original Song Title:

"The Trial"

Original Performer:

Pink Floyd

Parody Song Title:

"The Aisles"

Parody Written by:

Chris Pollman

The Lyrics

Floyd, after breaking down during his speech rallying his faithful, is arrested by the mall security guards, and as he is being escorted away he drops to the floor in desperation, and breaks down again. Now, Floyd's boss, mother, ex-girlfriend, and old friends from his past job are there, and somehow, a trial of sorts transpires there on the food court...oh, and the mall's owner, Mr. Brown, is there too...PS:There's a line in here where his ex-GF calls him "gay". In that, she means "gay" as in the commonly used insult. She isn't actually saying that he's gay, or anything like that...
[Security Guard]
Good evening, Brown; how are you?
The crowd will plainly show
The hoodlum who now sits before you
Was caught red-handed, caught shoplifting
Caught shoplifting, and then he tried to take over!
This will not do!
Call his employer!

[Floyd's Previous Boss]
I always thought he'd come to no good,
With those friends; no honor!
Well if I had had my way, I would've
Slapped him into shape!
But the law it states,
That beating up on minors
Well it is strictly forbidden
Glad I fired him, no pay!

Lazy...boy with no motive,
I am lazy...truly a slacker
They must've taken my freedom away!
[Crowd of youngsters with their parents, looking on]
Lazy...boy with no motive,
He is lazy!

You little sh*t, you're in it now,
I hope they lock you up for good!
You should've kissed with me
More often than you did, but no!
You had to go and be gay
Have you broken any hearts up lately?
Just five minutes in the backseat,
You and me - alone...

[Floyd's Mother]
Come to mother Floydie, let me
Hold you in my arms
You know I never wanted him to
Hang out with these scene kids,
They are all just a bad influence
Cops, I beg you, let me take him home

Lazy...I've lost my cell phone,
I am lazy...what will I do now?
There must have been disaster in the mall -
When I came in...
[Chorus of youngsters again]
Lazy...he's lost his cell phone,
He is lazy

[Sound of a number of heavy trucks pulling in, the riff to "Another Brick In the Wall" can be heard in the distance, on the piano located in the Von Maur section of the mall]

[Mr. Brown, Mall Owner]
This travesty, of this young man
It is oh so horrible, I can see
Why this hoodlum has been fired!
Through all the years at this place,
I have never heard at all
Of someone so depressing;
He has to hang out at the mall
The way you made them suffer,
You sweet girlfriend and mother
Fills me with the urge to prosecute!

(Hey Brown, spit on him!)

Since, my boy, you have
Churned up such a disgrace
I've decided to go, and
Be rid of this place!
[Turning and shouting to demolition crew that arrived earlier]
Tear down the mall!

[Crowd scatters outside, and chants]
[Throughout this, snippets of Floyd's childhood up to recent events are seen, flashing amongst the fleeing crowd]
Tear down the mall! Tear down the mall!
Tear down the mall! Tear down the mall!
Tear down the mall! Tear down the mall!
Tear down the mall! Tear down the mall!

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 2

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   2

User Comments

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Agrimorfee - November 22, 2006 - Report this comment
Whoo-woo!!!!! Once again, a great incorporation of OS to new words/ideas. There may have been a little too much of the original, to be sure, but screw it, you worked hard on this. TEAR DOWN THE MALL!!--lol!.
Yoidy - November 22, 2006 - Report this comment
It's so perfect that the trial is held in the food court LOL!!! 555
Chris Kilo - November 22, 2006 - Report this comment
Thanks to both of you for your feedback/votes! And yes, Agrimorfee, alot of the OS is incorporated here, but like you said, I did work hard on it haha. And Yoidy, thanks so much for that comment LOL. Nice. I didn't even make that "court" connection until you pointed it out haha! Thanks again to both of you!
asdfjkl - January 25, 2007 - Report this comment
Whoa, drama at the mall! I'm glad my malls don't have the amount of drama.

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