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Song Parodies -> "No Stores Worth Crap"

Original Song Title:

"Nobody Home"

Original Performer:

Pink Floyd

Parody Song Title:

"No Stores Worth Crap"

Parody Written by:

Chris Pollman

The Lyrics

Floyd, after browsing this new mall, is disgusted with its lack of variety and, as the title implies, good stores. Also, he comments on the multitude of teenage "groups" he sees there, that infest this mall, just as they did the old one...
They've got a little Food Court, with no Mickey D's
Got a Gap, and a Pac Sun, but no clothes!
I want some good tunes, but they've got no Hot Topic
They've got no good food stands that sell roasted peanuts
Got no FYE at all
Got thirteen off-brands of sh*t, in the stores I CAN chose from

They've got a Zales Jewles
But I want something cool!
Like American Eagle, or maybe a Virgin****
And this is the stright rap!:
When I looked at their stores
I found myself wanting more
But there's no stores worth crap...

They've got the obligatory "preppies" here
And the inevitable "scene kids" too
All down the walkways of this crap-hole, with nothing to do!
They've got "happy juice" stains on the toilets!
They've got a janitor who seems quite insane
They've got some vending machines,
To drive all the health nuts away...

I've gone bored, with shopping here
And I just might shed me some tears!
But I've got no one to cry to...
Oooh, man, this place is a trap!

[sound of a man issuing a survey saying "surprise!" in an irritable tone, and then asking the oblivous Floyd if he would like to complete a survey.]

..There's still no stores worth crap
I've got a urge to leave this mall...
Can't believe I...came at all...

[more TV noise in the background. An episode of "Lost" can be heard, with sounds of dialouge, and then the sound of the plane crash...]

* ***Virigin as in Virgin Records, you pervo

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   2

User Comments

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Yoidy - November 04, 2006 - Report this comment
What's more depressing than The Wall? The Mall - 555
Agrimorfee - November 06, 2006 - Report this comment
A little shaky pace-wise, but I love how this is going (ignore my previous comment elsewhere about you missing Hey You...I'm amnesiac.)
John - November 25, 2006 - Report this comment
this is dumb

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