Remember when you were thin
You ran like the wind

Dine on you famous fatass

Now there's a steak on your plate
Like you need to gain weight?

Dine on you famous fatass

You got lodged in the armchair
You stuck to the leather
Grown horizontally
Come on you eater of chocolate candy
Come on you eater
Of hot dogs
And sundaes
And dine!

You reached for the freezer too soon
You cried for a spoon

Dine on you famous fatass

Hampered by clothes grown too tight
Lost the talent to write

Dine on you famous fatass

Well you wore out your britches
With many fish dishes
Screamed for some real cheese
Come on you fatty
You eater of waffles
Come on you eater
Of pasta
And sauces
And dine!

Nobody knows what you are
A walrus or a car?

Dine on you famous fatass

Pile on many more layers
Don't forget the tomatoes!

Dine on you famous fatass

And you'll bask in the dim glow
Of refrigerators
Eat until you burst
Come on you big boy
You plus-sized guitarist
Come on you consumer of pork chops and Triscuits
And dine!