It's between these four walls
It's been here forever
Cat pee-stained shag carpet
It is green, and blue
Green-and blue, green-and blue

If I rip it up out of here
Thought of giving it all away
To a regular charity
I just need a rug anyway
If I rip it up out of here (if I rip it up out of here)

Well, the van exploded with a mighty crash as it pulled into the drive
And the driver said to the home owner there your new rug has arrived
Man On The Rug, Man On The Rug
And the driver Stan, he took the clams, and gave a shoulder shrug

To the Man On The Rug, Man On The Rug
Man On The Rug, Man On The Rug

Well, the rug installer drew a heavy sigh because no one would assist
The doorbell was ringing, it was the owner, boy was he gonna be - MAD!
Man On The Rug, Man On The Rug
And the owner's hand gave Stan a slam and squished him like a bug

A dead Man On The Rug, Man On The Rug
Man On The Rug, Man On The Rug

Well, the night was falling as the owner's nerves began to settle down
And the cops are searching for a corpse tonight, but it never will be found
Under the rug, under the rug

And the county judge, he wouldn't budge
When he said life in jail
For the Man On The Rug, Man On The Rug
Man On The Rug, Man On The Rug