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Song Parodies -> "You're De Vun Dat I Vahnt"

Original Song Title:

"You're The One That I Want"

Parody Song Title:

"You're De Vun Dat I Vahnt"

Parody Written by:

The Comedian

The Lyrics

[ Ahhnold: ]

Ahh took pills
They're pumpifying
Und inflating mah pole

Und de power
They're supplying --- it's erectifying!

[ Maria: ]

You better pump-up (up up up)
'Cause I need a man
With a German Shepherd bone

You better pump-up (up up up)
You better pump your gland
Clean-and-jerk, bench-press-and-moan!

[ Maria: ]

You're the one that I want! (You are the one I want!)
Oh oh oh, Arnie!

[ Ahhnold: ]

You're de vun dat I vahnt! (You are de vun I vahnt!)
Oh oh oh, liebchen!

[ Maria and Ahhnold: ]

You're the one that I want! (You are de vun I vahnt!)
Oh oh oh, honey!

[ Ahhnold: ]

De vun ahh neeeeeeeeeeeed !!

[ Maria: ]

Oh yes indeeeeeeeeeeeeed !!

[ Maria: ]

If your pills,
Gave erection,
You're too shy to display

Bed awaits
In my direction
Feel your way

[ Ahhnold: ]
Ahh better pump-up (up up up)
'Cause you need a man
[ Maria: ]
'Cause I need a man
Who can toss me way up high!

[ Ahhnold: ]
Ahh better pump-up (up up up)
If ahh'm gonna throw
[ Maria: ]
You better throw
Big-Tooth-Shriver in the sky!

[ Ahhnold: ]

Ahh you shuuure?

[ Maria: ]

Yes, now toss me way up high!

[ Ahhnold: ]

You got heavier--*grunt* (You are so heavy--*grunt*)
Urgh, urgh, urgh, liebchen!
You got heavier--*grunt* (You are so heavy--*grunt*)
Urgh, urgh, urgh, liebchen!
You got heavier--*grunt* (You are so heavy--*grunt*)
Urgh, urgh, urgh, liebchen!
Ahh'll strain and wheeze --- almost cahn't breathe ---

[ Maria: ]

Don't be a girly man! (No, not a girly man!)
No, no, no, Arnie!
Don't be a girly man! (No, not a girly man!)
No, no, no, Arnie!
Don't be a girly man! (No, not a girly man!)
No, no, no, Arnie!
Now throw me, please --- throw me now, please!

[ Ahhnold: ]

You got heavier--*GRUNT*! (You are TOO heavy--*GRUNT*!)
Urgh, urgh, URGH, LIEBCHEN!
You got heavier--*GRUNT*! (You are TOO heavy--*GRUNT*!)
Urgh, urgh, URGH, LIEBCHEN!
You got heavier--*GRUNT*! (You are TOO heavy--*GRUNT*!)
Urgh, urgh, URGH, LIEBCHEN!
Ma-ri-a, pleeeeeease --- ahh just cahn't BREATHE !!

[ Maria: ]

Don't be a girly man! (No, not a girly man!)
No, no, no, Arnie!
Don't be a girly man! (No, not a girly man!)
No, no, no, Arnie!
Come on and throw me, man! (Come on and throw me man!)
Now, now, NOW ARNIE!
DON'T BE A TEASE --- THROW ME NOW, PLEASE!!!!!!

[ Ahhnold: }
URRRGGGHHH !!!
[ Maria: ]
AAAAAIIIIIIIEEEEE !!!
[ Plate Glass Window: ]
KEEEERRRRAAAASSSSHHHH !!!

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 25

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 1
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 1
 
 4   0
 1
 0
 
 5   25
 23
 24
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

john ulvang - August 11, 2005 - Report this comment
the "liebchen" line brought it all to a head. very funny. Is there an entire Grease Porn musical in the works? You cleaned and jerked 555 lbs!
Phil Alexander - August 11, 2005 - Report this comment
Oh, Johnny... I'm speechless. But I must say that the "You got heavier--*grunt*" line is a classic :-)
alvin rhodes - August 11, 2005 - Report this comment
i love the cadence of witty repartee...5s
Stuart McArthur - August 11, 2005 - Report this comment
this wouldn't be one of them lewd submissions would it? - *checks to see if Chucky is crestfallen* - nuh, guess not - I reckon you started with "erectifying" JD - if not, it's a GREAT get!! - 555
Rick C - August 11, 2005 - Report this comment
I thought this parody was going to be wholesome and clean, like ONJ. Glad I was wrong! 555
Kristof Robertson - August 11, 2005 - Report this comment
555 to the ubermaster of Ahnold parodies...bravo!
Michael Pacholek - August 11, 2005 - Report this comment
As der parodies go, Schwarzenegger dan most.
John Barry - August 11, 2005 - Report this comment
Wunderbar! Let me fünf you up. As Maria says: "Ich liebe dick!"
Dee Range - August 11, 2005 - Report this comment
LMFAO!! Great stuff, Johnny. Send it to the Governator!! High 5's
Lionel Mertens - August 11, 2005 - Report this comment
Good job. 5's. I liked dis one. In fact I like all parodies that deal with tings of dis nature.
Red Ant - August 11, 2005 - Report this comment
Yar Ahnold speak is wery gud!!
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - August 12, 2005 - Report this comment
Arnoldie but a gut parody!
Jack DeRippa - August 12, 2005 - Report this comment
Das ist wunderbar. That's all I can really say in German ... ^_^ 5's
Johnny D - August 13, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks, john, Phil, alvin, Stuart, Rick C, Kristof, Michael, JB, Dee, Lionel, Red Ant, Luke, and Jack.
Claude Prez - August 13, 2005 - Report this comment
Well, now I feel totally silly that I almost didn't submit my little "slut" parody because it was a PG-13. This was a riot! Loved the grunting.
Johnny D - August 14, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks, Claude.
Agrimorfee - February 23, 2006 - Report this comment
(Y '06) This parody PUMPED (CLAP!!) ME UP.
tomario - February 23, 2006 - Report this comment
absolutley marvellous.triple from me!
Cat - February 24, 2006 - Report this comment
(ABC Y 06) Herr Johnny D, you did dis very vell! Oh, ja!
Red Ant - February 24, 2006 - Report this comment
(ABC-Y) See above!
Matthias - March 02, 2006 - Report this comment
If anyone can mock Ahnold it's you... Little Puny Man...
Rick C - March 05, 2006 - Report this comment
(ABC05) A pleasure to revisit! "Big-Tooth-Shriver" cracked me up.
Stuart McArthur - March 07, 2006 - Report this comment
(Y) ah, yes I remember this one - one of your best openings ever, JD
Larry Hensley - March 08, 2006 - Report this comment
(ABC) Very funny, Aaaaaaaaaaahhhhh'll give it 5's
Chris Bodily TM - March 08, 2006 - Report this comment
Dot woss hilarious! LMAO!!!! This might be my ABC favorite, but I still have a few more to read. 555

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