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Song Parodies -> "Nog"

Original Song Title:

"Spam (Sketch)"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Monty Python

Parody Song Title:

"Nog"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

A man and a woman enter Jonathan's Cafe for breakfast! A group of Southern Comfort eggnog vendors are also seated nearby. Yes, this is mostly substitution, but it is merely for eggnog fun!
Man : You sit here, dear.
Wife: All right.
Man: Morning!
Jonathan: Morning!
Man: Well, what've you got?
Jonathan: Well, there's egg and bacon; egg sausage and bacon; egg and nog; egg bacon and nog; egg bacon sausage and nog; nog bacon sausage and nog; nog egg nog nog bacon and nog; spam sausage nog nog bacon nog tomato and nog;
Vendors: Nog, nog, nog, nog...
Jonathan: ...nog nog nog egg and nog; nog nog nog nog nog nog baked beans nog nog nog...
Vendors: Nog! Delicious nog! Smooth nog!
Jonathan: ...or Lobster Thermidor a Crevette with a mornay sauce served in a Provencale manner with shallots and aubergines garnished with truffle pate, brandy and with a fried egg on top and nog.
Wife: Have you got anything without nog?
Jonathan: Well, there's nog egg sausage and nog, that's not got much nog to sip
Wife: I don't want ANY nog!
Man: Why can't she have egg bacon nog and sausage?
Wife: THAT'S got nog with it!
Man: Hasn't got as much nog with it as nog egg sausage and nog, has it?
Vendors: Nog nog nog nog...... (Crescendo through next few lines...)
Wife: Could you do the egg bacon nog and sausage without the nog then?
Jonathan: Urgghh!
Wife: What do you mean 'Urgghh'? I don't like nog!
Vendors: Delicious nog! Splendid nog!
Jonathan: Go on!
Vendors: Incredible nog! Fantastic nog!
Jonathan: Wait a tic! (Vendors stop) Bloody Vendors! You can't have egg bacon nog and sausage without the nog.
Wife: I don't like nog!
Man: Sshh, dear, don't cause a fuss. I'll drink your nog. I love it. I'm having nog nog nog nog nog nog nog beaked beans nog nog nog and nog!
Vendors: Nog nog nog nog. Holiday nog! Wonderful nog!
Jonathan: Hush up!! Baked beans are off.
Man: Well could I have her nog instead of the baked beans then?
Jonathan: You mean nog nog nog nog nog nog... (but it is too late and the Vendors drown her words)
Vendors: (Singing elaborately...) Nog nog nog nog. Lovely nog! Wonderful nog! Nog n-o-o-o-o-g nog n-o-o-o-o-g nog. Lovely nog! Lovely nog! Lovely nog! Lovely nog! Lovely nog! Nog nog nog nog! SOUTHERN COMFORT, you twits!!!
Wife: well maybe I'll have the eggs bacon nog and sausage as long as the nog is Borden.
Jonathan and the Vendors: GET OUT!!!!!!!
Man (whispering):. ... any chance of you slipping me some Teddy's Blue Raspberry Soda with a greasy double cheeseburger?
Jonathan: leave the money on the table and meet me out back.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 14

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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Callmelennie - November 03, 2016 - Report this comment
In the diner, the Python diner, the Vikings sing tonight ... In the diner, the surreal diner, the Vikings sing tonight
Rob Arndt - November 03, 2016 - Report this comment
Thanks CML! I think the Spam sketch would be my third best Python one after the Dead Parrot and Ministry of Silly Walks!!!
Jonathan - November 03, 2016 - Report this comment
I just found Spam on Amiright, should I report it? LOL! just kidding! seriously, creative to parody a skit from a television show. I've been meaning to watch "Monty Python" and may have to get used to it if the election goes the wrong way, and I move to Merry Old England! but, it looks like Trump's taking a lead in the polls now, so knock wood, the England move won't be necessary! 455
P.S. have you ever seen the episode of "King of Queens" where the main character, Doug, wants to open a sandwich shop? in it, he talks about serving eggnog year-round. if I ran a restaurant I would totally do that. and if such a place existed in my area, I would be their best customer!
Rob Arndt - November 03, 2016 - Report this comment
Jon, there would never be any eggnog in stock! You would have drank it all!!! But you could serve lots of meaty selections and put up a big window sign stating NO VEGAN FOOD SERVED HERE (All salads MUST have bacon bits)!!!
Jonathan - November 04, 2016 - Report this comment
^ well now, that's a bit of an exaggeration isn't it? between you and me, (and anybody who reads these comments sections I guess...) most of the salads I eat are actually meat-free, consisting of only lettuce and Italian Dressing. that's the way I like 'em. of course, as you've said, it's about variety! just because I love meat, doesn't mean I don't like a good fruit or veggie now and then. however, you are spot on about the eggnog thing. it's the same reason I wouldn't trust myself to work in a bakery. I could just hear my boss screaming: "Jonathan! there were a dozen donuts here this morning, where are they?!?!"
Rob Arndt - November 04, 2016 - Report this comment
Sorry Jon, just being funny. I love Caesar and Santa Fe salads as well as kale power salads with dried brussell Sprouts, parsley, cranberries, nuts, and soaked in Dijon Mustard vinaigrette! I also drink healthy chia drinks and eat veggie wraps. I like variety and I assume you do too ;-)
Jonathan - November 04, 2016 - Report this comment
^ no probs Rob, I enjoy all types of food. greasy or leafy! :)
Callmelennie - November 04, 2016 - Report this comment
Oops, didn't realize you were talking to me, Rob. Off the top of my head, I'd say my favorite Python skits were The Argument Clinic, The Pirahna Brothers, and Spanish Inquisition. My kid sister lo-o-o-o-oved that last one .. seeing as we were raised Catholic and she was a rebellious little hellion ... you were, Sis!
Rob Arndt - November 04, 2016 - Report this comment
The Argument Clinic- " this is Abuse!" and Spanish Inquisition- 'NOT the comfy chair!"
Rob Arndt - November 09, 2016 - Report this comment
Jon, you HAVE to see this video!
https://youtu.be/Id7idcz-Q2k

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