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Song Parodies -> "Items To Sell"

Original Song Title:

"Bat Out Of Hell"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Meat Loaf

Parody Song Title:

"Items To Sell"

Parody Written by:

AussieBullDog

The Lyrics

Our prices are dropping and our bargains are calling
For you to go shopping today
We've got so many specials here that we guarantee
You'll be happy in every way

There's clothing in Aisle Four and there's donuts in Aisle Nine
And the pet food is in Aisle Thirteen
Oh, and down in Aisle Seven, Coca-Cola and Pepsi
Oh, I swear whatever aisle you check out, you'll find
The lowest prices that you've ever seen

I tell you, we're the only store in this whole world
That's always nice and cheap
And I know that any other store you can try
Their prices will be very steep

But these specials can't last, we gotta sell it all now
You really can't afford to wait
So you gotta make the most of this limited offer
'Cause the prices we charge won't always be this great

We've got items to sell
We've got discounts in every aisle
And we haven't offered crazy bargains like these
In a long, long while
We've got items to sell
We've got discounts in every aisle

And we've got frying pans, we've got children's toys
Baby clothes in pink and blue
Come take advantage of all our price reductions
Everything is on sale for you

I think that we've discounted everything in the store
By at least twenty-five percent
I only wish I could see our competitors' faces
They'd be staring in bewilderment

Everybody comes down to shop at our store
'Cause everybody hates to miss out
There's mens and womens socks, and cheese and bacon rolls
And things that you can't do without

Well, you'll get it for cheap, just whatever you want
We swear on our lives that it's true
Unlike every other store on the face of the earth
You know our only concern is you
So if you want it for cheap, you know you'll get it for cheap
What a super deal for you

Yeah, if you want it for cheap, you know you'll get it for cheap
Want it for cheap, you know you'll get it for cheap
Want it for cheap, you know you'll get it for cheap
What a super deal
What a super deal
What a super deal for you

I tell you, we're the only store in this whole world
That's always nice and cheap
And I know that any other store you can try
Their prices will be very steep

But these specials can't last, we gotta sell it all now
You really can't afford to wait
So you gotta make the most of this limited offer
'Cause the prices we charge won't always be this great

We've got items to sell
We've got discounts in every aisle
And we haven't offered crazy bargains like these
In a long, long while
We've got items to sell
We've got discounts in every aisle

We've got electric goods, we've got breakfast foods
We've got Pez dispensers too
Come take advantage of all our price reductions
Everything is on sale for you
Come take advantage of all our price reductions
Everything is on sale for you

Well, look on any shelf, you'll find everything's
Cheaper than any other store has ever been
And our parking's great and our staff's polite
We have to be the greatest store that anyone's ever seen

We've got all these bargains for you
And you'll never find a cheaper price anywhere you look

No, you'll never find a cheaper price anywhere you look

So when you do your shopping, don't forget we're your number one
Basement prices for the items you'll really like
And the supermarkets elsewhere must be living in hell
'Cause we took all their business away, so easy
Come on down, everybody, and try us today
We've got items to sell

So when you do your shopping, don't forget we're your number one
Yeah, basement prices for the items you'll really like
And the supermarkets elsewhere must be living in hell
'Cause we took all their business away
So easy, too easy
So come on down, everybody, and try us today
We've got items to sell
We've got items to sell
We've got items to sell

We've got items to sell
(Items to sell, we've got discounts in every aisle)
We've got items to sell
(We've got items to sell, we've got discounts in every aisle)
We've got items to sell

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 LittleLots
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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 1

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   1
 1
 1
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Peregrin - December 26, 2003 - Report this comment
Another good one ABD
Rick D - December 26, 2003 - Report this comment
DKOS but boy, it had lots of words. Good job making something of it.
2nz - December 26, 2003 - Report this comment
Holy cow, that's a hell of a sales pitch. I'm sold. You know, I think I really saw some guy yelling some of these lines in an 80's Radioshack commercial once. Good job ABD.
AussieBullDog - December 27, 2003 - Report this comment
Thanks everyone - I wanted to find out if I could parody a ten-minute song. Though possibly I should've started with Shine On You Crazy Diamond and worked my way up.
Rick D - December 27, 2003 - Report this comment
I tried an 18 minute song "Close to the Edge". Not too many bothered to read or vote. But it makes up for "Honey Pie" and "I Want You"
David Chrenko - December 27, 2003 - Report this comment
Rick, like you should worry. Here let me help you, buddy . . . HEY, EVERYBODY! READ RICK D's "KLAUSE DO THE HEDGE" - IT's REALLY FUNNY (seriously, it really is). There you go Rick. By the way, were you aware that I consistently have one of the very highest ratings at AmIRight (currently about 4.77), I've posted about 40 songs so far, but only eight or nine people ever look at any of them? By the way, Aussie, another fun parody worthy of 5-5-5
Rick D - December 27, 2003 - Report this comment
Dave, I guess you haven't pissed off the "one's" guy yet. Obviously, you have a small but loyal following. I don't know what you have to do to get over 20 votes, work at Frys? Thanks for the plug, but I think the problem is no one wants to read a long song they don't know. Oh well, I'm glad this whole thing inspired us all to write more.
AussieBullDog - December 27, 2003 - Report this comment
Possible ways to get over 20 votes: 1)Parody a song everybody knows and make it really funny and clever. 2) Make fun of fat people. (Hey, worked for me.) 3) Visit 21 internet cafes. 4) Change your name to Spaff. Seriously, Dave, original song choice is obviously a factor in the amount of votes a parody will get, but as long as you're getting good votes (which you are, and well-deserved might I add) and you're enjoying the writing then there's not much to complain about.
Meriadoc - December 29, 2003 - Report this comment
Caught today's comment about you doing a Meatloaf parody and was saying to myself 'please don't let it be Bat out of Hell...' :-D Pippin and I have been messing with this one, so I know how hard it is to do! Good job!
Johnny D - December 29, 2003 - Report this comment
I'm with Rick D on this one.... DKTOS either, but very impressive effort!
Diva - December 30, 2003 - Report this comment
Very good idea and clever a song.

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