Baby you can nag all night
But that ain't getting you nowhere
I’ve broken everything I possibly can
There's nothing works inside of here.
And maybe you can moan all night,
But that'll never change the way that I am.
The jobs are really piling up for me
I wish you wouldn't make me do them.
I made the beds and took out the trash
I tried to iron but I burnt all my shirts.
I'm tired of weeding and of mowing the lawn.
But you've been nagging me so long
I'm mending bicycles in my sleep.
And all I can do is keep on telling you
I’m hopeless
I’m useless
But -- there ain't no way I'm ever gonna give up,
Now don't get mad
'Cause burning the toast ain’t bad
Now don't be sad
'Cause burning the toast ain't bad

You'll never find a fitter on a sandy beach
You'll never find a plumber on a city street
I know you're looking for a builder in the yellow pages,
But there ain't no Black & Decker hiding at the bottom of a Cracker Jack box
I can't paint
I can't tell you that I'm something I'm not
No matter how I try
I'll never be able
To be a tradesman,
Something that I just haven't got.
Oh no!
There's only one job that I have never done
And that was so many years ago
And though I know I'll never get to be a handyman.
She never trusted me,
Ooh I know
I remember how the roof leaked on a stormy night
And the water washed us out of our bed
And though I pleaded and I begged her not to call for some help,
She grabbed the phone and and went right ahead.
And she kept on telling me
She kept on telling me
She kept on telling me
You’re useless
You’re useless
And there ain't no way I'm ever gonna trust you.
Now don't be sad
'Cause burning the toast ain't bad
I’m useless
I’m useless
But there ain't no way I'm ever gonna trust you
Now don't be sad
'Cause burning the toast ain't bad
Don't be sad
'Cause burning the toast ain't bad
Baby you can nag all night
But that ain't getting you nowhere.