Making fun of music, one song at a time. Since the year 2000.
Check out the two amIright misheard lyrics books including one book devoted to misheard lyrics of the 1980s.
(Toggle Right Side Navigation)

Song Parodies -> "No Paradise At The Old Campsite"

Original Song Title:

"Paradise By The Dashboard Light"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Meat Loaf

Parody Song Title:

"No Paradise At The Old Campsite"

Parody Written by:

Agrimorfee

The Lyrics

Entry for Song Parody Challenge. Not based on a true story.
I remember every little thing
As if it happened only yesterday
Camping by the lake
No sign of civ'lization in sight
I couldn't understand
The joys of nature like they did
Another month at school
I'm wishing instead of this plight

Packed like sardines, the tent is tight
And I don't feel so good, and look, my skin is white
I'm afraid we'll meet a killer who'll attack with a knife
I'm afraid we'll meet a killer who'll attack with a knife
Oh Mom, what a fright!
Oh Mom, what a fright!

And it's hot and smelly in the outhouse light
I can see buzzing flies on a fresh turd fight

Now I gotta shout it
There's a hornet's nest!
We're at Campsite 17
And I'm not impressed!

I don't wanna rough it
Take this trip and stuff it
I don't have to love it
I shoo away the pests
We're at Campsite 17
And I'm not impressed!

Daddy, didja hear the news?
They're expecting a tornado!
And it won't be too long
For bears to come along and eat us up!

When they come up to our tent
Dontcha dare try to pet 'em
Just wait 'til they try to eat all our supplies
In the dead of night!
Did anyone think to bring a gun?

So we're going back to nature, right?
It doesn't feel real good, time to take a flight?
And I swear I hear a killer creeping 'round with a knife
And I swear I hear a killer creeping 'round with a knife
Oh Mom, what a fright!
Oh Mom, what a fright!

Now it's cold and rainy in the deep dark night
I can't see paradise in this old campsite
It's so cold and rainy in the deep dark night
I can't see paradise in this old campsite

Still awake on my mat
And there's no way I can rest
Look through my binocs'
Oh wow! I've been blessed!
There's a chick who's 17
And I can see her---

We're gonna go out on a nature hike
And we won't be back "til tonight, tonight(4x)

(Narration performed by Jeff Probst, host of CBS Television's "Survivor':)
OK here we go, we got a real back breaker here. Trees down, no cell phone, no I-pod. Bottom of the cliff, all the way to the top, and here it is! The Miraculous Stone Cut Devil! Look at the slope! He's running first across the wooden bridge, not looking where's going at all, he's going to step on the second tier, it's hollowed out at the center, and he steps off the row, down the hole! He's gonna slide down, feet first, the poor bum, he's out? No wait, he's awake, but quite bruised in the face, this kid is really accident prone out there. Now he steps up towards the lake, here's the clinch—he's falling, and what a splash he's got! He's sinking, for the third time! What do you know, he's hit the dirt. What a nerd! Holy cow, it's a snake! He's running ahead, nearly 60 feet from there, almost got his arm bit off. Then he gallops over, stands up, and now he's tripped! Tripped over an old log—there's an old hive with bees he sits on! There he is, knees splayed, he's torn up his clothes, looks like he's gonna blow, he's getting red in the face! Holy cow, I think he's gonna flake out!

STOP RIGHT THERE!
I WANNA GO HOME NOW!
Before we go any further
I am hungry!
I think I got a fever
And I'm thirsty
Will someone please relieve me?
I refuse to go camping for the rest of my life
Will you take me away from this mis'ry and strife?
I wanna go home now!
Before we walk any further
Will you save me?
Curse your camping forever!

(Mom:)
Why don't you sleep on it?
Maybe, maybe you should sleep on it?
Why don't you sleep on it?
And maybe you'll feel better in the morning
(REPEAT TWICE)

I WANNA GO HOME NOW!
I am angry
Torn a hole in my sweater
And I'm dripping
Will you please relieve me?
I refuse to go camping for the rest of my life
Will you take me away from this mis'ry and strife?
I wanna go home now
Be a good mom and father
Will you help me?
Curse your camping forever!

(Dad:)
Is that the way it's gonna be, boy?
It's a six hour drive back to Springfield, all night!
Is that the way it's gonna be, boy?
Yes or no?!

(Mom again:)
Why don't you sleep on it?
Maybe, maybe you should sleep on it?
Why don't you sleep on it?
And maybe you'll feel better in the morning

I GOTTA GO HOME NOW!
I am cranky!
I guess you should know I've not been sleeping!
From all the shrieking and peeping
I refuse to go camping for the rest of my life
Will you take me away from this mis'ry and strife?
I gotta go home now!
Because my own health matters
Won't you help me!?
Curse the camping forever

(Mom:)Why don't you sleep on it?

Curse your camping forever!

(Dad:)Why don't you sleep on it?

Curse your camping forever!

(Mom & Dad:)Why don't you sleep on it?

Curse your camping forever!

So that might have gone on longer
I was unfazed
So I held my breath and stood 'til I was blue in the face
Dad started shouting "Oh my God!" and my mother was grave
They said that 'til the end of time
They swore that I'm not camping in the summertime!

So now I'm staying with Aunt Tillie this time
A big mistake, man alive!
'Cause if I have to spend another minute with her
I don't think that I can really survive!
Another round of chess, and "Matlock"'s on right now
I'm as bored as hell with that spinster cow!
So maybe now next summertime
Here is what I'll do! (do, do)
I'll sneak out from the relatives, and I'll just live out in the zoo!

(Fadeout continuously, with 2 voices:)
It was long ago, and such a big mistake
That weekend that I had down at Camp Crystal Lake
[I just don't feel so good, and look my skin is white
And I'm feeling like a killer's walking 'round with a knife]

Copyright 2006, Agrimorfee.

Your Vote & Comment Counts

The parody authors spend a lot of time writing parodies for the website and they appreciate feedback in the form of votes and comments. Please take some time to leave a comment below about this parody.

Place Your Vote

 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



In order for your vote to count, you need to hit the 'Place Your Vote' button.
 

Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 28

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   1
 0
 0
 
 4   1
 0
 1
 
 5   26
 28
 27
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Cat - July 14, 2006 - Report this comment
WOOOOOWWWWW. I know I could never tackle this beast of a song, and you slayed it single-handedly, Agri. 5s plus definitely, by far one of if not your best one ever.
alvin rhodes - July 14, 2006 - Report this comment
great job on a tough song...bravo
Johnny D - July 14, 2006 - Report this comment
Relax, Agri, have a sedagive (SEDAGIVE?!!) ;-) 555
Sir Bertram the Sword-Dropper - July 14, 2006 - Report this comment
Thank you for taking me on this wild adventure. I did not realize mere lyrics could do that to me. I'm just wondering: was I the only reader who had a total 'D'OH!'-moment when the name 'Springfield' popped up?
Agrimorfee - July 14, 2006 - Report this comment
Johnny, what's wrong with Abby Normal? ;))
Michael Pacholek - July 14, 2006 - Report this comment
Supposedly, Camp Crystal Lake was right here in New Jersey. I don't know about that, but I do know that, on this Friday the 14th, I can give this a Friday the 13th, Part V! Agri Lives!
Agrimorfee - July 14, 2006 - Report this comment
I live near Crystal Lake, IL, but it doesn't have a camp, oddly.
PMS - July 17, 2006 - Report this comment
WOW! You can out-parodize most on AmIRight...
Stephen Harrington - July 18, 2006 - Report this comment
Cool, 5s.
Matthias - July 19, 2006 - Report this comment
Agrimorfee?! You were stalking me while I was gone camping for two weeks? You must have! This is basically what I was doing!!! AMAZING!!!
tomario - July 20, 2006 - Report this comment
boy am i out of breath awsome parody im glad i didn't get it. absolutely top job 555 hi de hi !
Kristof Robertson - July 21, 2006 - Report this comment
(Parody Contest) Agri...I've just had to take a Tylenol after reading this. This is a MASSIVE effort on a massive song, and you nailed it perfectly. "And I swear I hear a killer creeping 'round with a knife" floored me. One of your best. Unreservedly 555+
Johnny D - July 21, 2006 - Report this comment
(Parody Challenge) See above!
Cat - July 22, 2006 - Report this comment
(Great Parody Challenge) See above! Still love it, especially "Jeff Probst's" part!
bobpiecheese - July 22, 2006 - Report this comment
(Great Parody Challenge) Well, you've put me off camping for the rest of my life...too bad I''ve got a compulsory Outdoor Ed camp coming up. Oh, well. That's life! Nice work on a really long song!
Red Ant - July 23, 2006 - Report this comment
Holy shiznit, Agrimorfee! A monsterous effort here, especially given how fast TOS is sung, and that narrative in the middle. 555+
Jeff Reuben - July 23, 2006 - Report this comment
Very nice, I especially liked the quasi-Jason reference and the Jeff Propst solo.
Stuart McArthur - July 23, 2006 - Report this comment
(PC) Like Cat said, WOW! that is a hudge effort, Agri - and so many good lines and solutions (loved the "There's a chick who's 17 And I can see her---" which coincided exactly with the OS, where he cuts away mid-sentence - brilliant) and the subs were great, none better than the "...killer creeping round with a knife") - 555
Phil Alexander - July 25, 2006 - Report this comment
This is seriously awesome, Agri - especially the baseball commentary sub. Well, the whole lot, actually :-)
Chris Bodily TM - August 06, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) What can I say that hasn't already been said? TMGLTM, great OS choice, I got a kick out of that fast-paced Jeff Probst narration, and nice Jason references. Ch ch ch ch... ha ha ha ha. 555
paula miconas silos miconas - August 08, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) lol this was awesome!! it was hilarious, and great job on a monster of a song. it took a while 2 get thru lol ^_^ definatly 555
The Charnstar - August 09, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Cause I really suck at punn, Ill just say it normally, Great song, hilarious, and I give you extra credit on writing a parody to Paradise By The Dashboard Light, that would've been hard, it's a long song! 5-5-5
Kristof Robertson - August 09, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I loved this in the last contest, and I'm sure it's going to do well this time around. Bravo
Rick C - August 13, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Despite the tough OS to pace, this flowed as smooth as a fine scotch. Great job, Agri. 555
Michael McVey - August 14, 2006 - Report this comment
Yeah, the Probst part was funny! But the idea is hardly original (cf. "Hello Mudduh, Hello Fadduh" by Alan Sherman). Well-written, I'll say that much. -- MM
Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd - August 14, 2006 - Report this comment
SOTM - Don't know why I haven't commented on this one earlier, I remember reading it when I saw that it had won the previous comp you entered it for, maybe I was interrupted, I don't remember the last part. Great stuff all the way though.
Cat - August 14, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) See above!
Max Power - August 17, 2006 - Report this comment
SOTM-Good
bobpiecheese - August 25, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) See above.
Max Power - August 26, 2006 - Report this comment
SOTM-Good
Johnny D - August 28, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) A camp classic.
Red Ant - August 28, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I'm still very impressed by this one, Agrimorfee.
Stuart McArthur - August 29, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) deserving winner of the parody challenge Aggy, and another great sub I'd like to add to the ones I've previously mentioned was "curse your camping forever" - awesome
wannabemustangjockey - August 30, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Yikes. I do a lot of hard songs, but wow. I don't think this one will be on my to-do list anytime soon ... which makes it that much more impressive that you did it.
Arwen - August 31, 2006 - Report this comment
SOTM...well up until now I was an avid camper...and now, I'm not sure if I ever want to go again...; )
Scathe - August 31, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I'm no camper to begin with. This spoof is almost National Lampoon grade slapstick.
Jeff Reuben - August 31, 2006 - Report this comment
Good job...see above!
Matthias - February 21, 2008 - Report this comment
I remember this one clearly. Impressive peice of parody you've got her Mr. Agrimorfee, and to think if it wasn't for me you would have never even think about doing, "Paradise By The Dashboard Light"... Or would you? Who knows, but this was certainly impressive, and also extremely funny, not to mention Meat Loaf is my favorite music performer of all time!
Guy - March 01, 2008 - Report this comment
(ABC4N) The fly turd fight did it for me. This alone is worth 5's. Great visuals on that, I think? Anyway this one is really funny and brings back a lot of memories with the scouts when I was a kid. Loved the narration as well. Fine job here Ag. Lots of work went into this.
Below Average Dave - March 01, 2008 - Report this comment
(ABC4N) I loved the combining words to make it fit the original theme "Didja" is my most vivid example. . .your pacing wasn't quite as tight as you are capable of, I had to dock you one point on that. . .but on a humor scale you got me cracking up and I have to forgive the pacing for the will drawn imagery you did with your words. I agree with Guy on the Turd Fight also. . .just the image in my head. . .I had to re-read that line because it was so unexpected.
bobpiecheese - March 02, 2008 - Report this comment
(ABC4) See above...again.
stuart mcarthur - March 05, 2008 - Report this comment
(ABC4) now the stirrer in me must point out that you've been quite critical of my use of snippets of the OS lyrics in my parodies, Ag, ("donut shop" in Walk/Egyptian and "Starry Starry Night" in R.I.P. Pluto, from memory) and yet I see "Now it's cold and (lonely/rainy) in the deep dark night" "I remember every little thing" "OK here we go" "STOP RIGHT THERE!"....in this piece. just kidding - you know my thoughts on this, which are that coming across unexpected snippets of the OS in a parody improves it by adding a familiar "delight" factor and should be strived for not punished, and your use of the OS's snippets here perfectly makes my point, as does the whole tour-de-force of course - see my above 2 comments to know how impressed I am with this award-winning work
Agrimorfee - March 05, 2008 - Report this comment
Well-said, and your points are well taken, Stu (and thanks for the comp points, too). I guess it's a questions of the reader's subjective feelings vs. the artist's creative feelings. Sometimes in my writing, I have found, I feel like no other words could replace the emotion being conveyed or how the storyline is progressing. That was my reasons why I kept those phrases intact and may very well be the reasons why you did the same, even though I personally felt they could have been changed. Peace.
stuart mcarthur - March 05, 2008 - Report this comment
my point exactly. In fact my absolute first step in writing a parody is to scan through the OS to find phrases that fit the context of my storyline, then I build the parody around them - I notice Kristof does it too (it's a technique that's detectable in every single one of my parodies) and with "starry starry night" for a Pluto storyline, and "donut shops" for bimbo beauticians, they were both gimmes :-)
Invisible Boy - March 05, 2008 - Report this comment
An epic write Agrimorfee. Your treatment of an 11 minute OS that moves quickly was excellent. Extra points for the Jeff Probst narrative. I'm so glad my farorite campground is named "Sheraton".
Kristof Robertson - March 05, 2008 - Report this comment
(ABC4N) You know the drill by now, Ag....funny, clever, verbose, rhyme-tastic etc. etc....this is seriously good work.
Mark Scotti - March 08, 2012 - Report this comment
(abc) That was a "Monster"piece of a song, and the horrors (and laughs), of camping. Fantastic
Mark Scotti - March 08, 2012 - Report this comment
Agri, I really enjoyed this on, and hopr it makes it into this year's ABC, but as I look at past comments, was it entered once before?
Porfle Popnecker - March 08, 2012 - Report this comment
I can't even begin to describe how awesome this parody is!
Agrimorfee - March 08, 2012 - Report this comment
Hi Mark...this is an Artistry round entry, not ABC.
Mark Scotti - March 24, 2012 - Report this comment
My bad (Artistry)...glad it's in...
bobpiecheese - April 03, 2012 - Report this comment
(Artistry) See above!
Matthias - April 03, 2012 - Report this comment
I'm still extremely impressed with this one. It's an Agrimorfee classic. I know your going to win this round because if this song doesn't take the gold I don't know what will. This is much much much better than my parody of this song. It means a lot to me too because I've been camping ever since I was a kid with my family and in Boy Scouts and with friends. My life has been nothing but camping for years and now I can read this and reflect on it. I hope this gets recorded but I'm not looking at Dave to do this one because this is basically impossible for one man to perform alone. I mean even Meat Loaf couldn't do it!
Rex - April 06, 2012 - Report this comment
(Artistry) I love camping...at the nearest 5-star hotel. And this parody explains why.
Below Average Dave - April 06, 2012 - Report this comment
SEe above
Blaydeman - April 06, 2012 - Report this comment
(Artstry) I'm not the biggest camper, but I still thought this was great.

The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.

Link To This Page

The address of this page is: http://www.amiright.com/parody/70s/meatloaf23.shtml For help, see the examples of how to link to this page.

This is view # 1185