Song Parodies -> Gimme Three Clicks(Sites)
| Original Song Title: | "Gimme Three Steps" |
| Original Performer: | Lynyrd Skynyrd |
| Parody Song Title: | "Gimme Three Clicks(Sites)" |
| Parody Written by: | Scathe |
This is dedicated to my computer savvy sister whose only nemesis is the ignorance of AOL. It's the only service we've got, but I still hate it.
I was throwing a fit while surfing the net
'Cause the server's as dumb as horse.
It's a real tough fight, to go to a site.
'Cause it's A-O-L of course.
I said, "Theeeeere's no way; I surf here every day.
Why does this happen to me?"
I get kicked off-line for the 15th time.
This crap ain't worth the monthly fee.
Oh won't you gimme three clicks.
Gimme three sites, mister.
I know you can't handle four.
Gimme three clicks.
Gimme three sites, please.
And you'll never hear me swear no more.
After learning some patience and watching for signs.
Of browser hiccups galore.
The say it can't be displayed, even though they're well paid.
What do they use that money for?
I said, "Heeey there Juno, NetZero, and others,
I coming over to your doors."
In this net world the last straw's been pulled.
And the start up disk is on the floor.
Oh won't you gimme three clicks.
Gimme three sites, mister.
I'm feelin' real angry and sore.
Gimme three clicks.
Gimme three sites, please.
I can't handle AOL no more.
'Cause the server's as dumb as horse.
It's a real tough fight, to go to a site.
'Cause it's A-O-L of course.
I said, "Theeeeere's no way; I surf here every day.
Why does this happen to me?"
I get kicked off-line for the 15th time.
This crap ain't worth the monthly fee.
Oh won't you gimme three clicks.
Gimme three sites, mister.
I know you can't handle four.
Gimme three clicks.
Gimme three sites, please.
And you'll never hear me swear no more.
After learning some patience and watching for signs.
Of browser hiccups galore.
The say it can't be displayed, even though they're well paid.
What do they use that money for?
I said, "Heeey there Juno, NetZero, and others,
I coming over to your doors."
In this net world the last straw's been pulled.
And the start up disk is on the floor.
Oh won't you gimme three clicks.
Gimme three sites, mister.
I'm feelin' real angry and sore.
Gimme three clicks.
Gimme three sites, please.
I can't handle AOL no more.
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User Comments Follow...
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Scathe - I briefly had AOL...when I cancelled the lady there asked if they could call me again to try and get me to resume service with them...I told her "Uh, sure....You know, When Hell Freezes Over? Yeah, well, NOT right then, because I know you folks will be really busy picking up winter clothes and such, but right AFTER that...Yeah, give me a call then...:" 5's for confirming their awfulness...
I had AOHell once, too. And now I've received enough #$@?+ CDs in the mail from them to shingle my house.
Excellent. 555 I too have been through AOHell, and am still contemplating and plotting revenge :-)
I don't know what to say fellas. Thanks to all of you. I didn't know that people on this site were that aware of the suckage of AOL. Paul: That was cold, but funny. :-) John and Dee: I think those disks would be a good substitute for skeet. >:-)
Scathe - You'd have to be in on the entire maddening escapade to truly appreciate the context - and then have the ninny on the other end, AFTER finally agreeing to Cancel you Account and NOT charge you since you HAD NOT used it ask you if they could call you later on about trying them again...I could not help myself, had to say it...(well, actually, I had been dying for a situation to say something like that to come up - this was a ripe one). Anyway, you are NOT alone...
I can give you 5 clicks... :-)
Thanks Meri. :-)
Grateful to say I have never ventured into the land of AOHell and juding by this parody I should consider myself lucky...... Great Job! 555
Look's like an AOL employee saw this parody.
(SOTM) DKTOS Good work.
Forgot to put this in my initial comment (SOTM) :)
Certainly better than the one's someone gave you.
SOTM--i don't know the original...=( But this reads very well...=)
(SOTM) That ninny in the other end was probably on some helpdesk equivalent of an assembly line where she's forced to respond with certain phrases within a set number of seconds, or loose her job. You'll never get to give your opinion to those who really are responsible, they surround themselves with a human firewall of low payed myrmidions to take the phone line equivalent of road rage. :-(
(SOTM) Sounds like AOL hasn't changed much in 10 years... my deepest sympathies, Scathe. ;)
Well done, Scathe. I've had Earthlink and SBCglobal and I don't think they're much better.
Yes, I've had AOL too. Great job on lampooning a company that was just busted by the SEC for fraud.
AOL got busted for fraud, I didn't know that when I wrote this.
Great job, Scathe. The company I work for in real life provides web-based services, and when we get calls from customers who are having trouble, one of our most common troubleshooting questions is "Are you on AOL?" They apparently reside in a neverland somewhere beyond the real Internet.
(SOTM) Scathe, loved it!
(SOTM) I had AOL for a little while years ago ... 'twas better than nothing ... or was it? Heh heh. 5's
(SOTM) gee it rollicks along - lovely pacing Scathe - 555
I've never had AOL but as a mailman I hate them with a passion with their need to mail CDs out to every living person again and again and again and don't even get me started. Anyway, very good.
Excellent! 5's to you. Negative 5's to AOL!
(SOTM) As above.
(SOTM) AOHell. I like it.
Oh yeah, and your parody was good too. ;-)
Oh yeah, and your parody was good too. ;-)
Man, it takes three clicks just to get rid of the popups sometimes!
(SOTM) Yes, it's somewhat sad that I had to lay that line on a poor, defenseless phone rep...especially since I am once again working in that line ( I generally try to be nice to those who labor on the phone lines because of that), but this was not a well-handled call by the person on the other end...I was very much under control throughout the call even though she was putting me through a lot of hoops in order to get her to recognize that I wanted to cancel and had never even installed the service program (which their documentation showed as well)...
never had AOL but can really identify with this one!! great pacing .. reads really well as the others have said(SOTM)
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