Scooter was pardoned
He won't be one of those jail ho's hardoned
He'll now see the sunshine
Like the other crooks, he won't do no time
He was made to take the fall, and that's what he did
Now let go
Scooter was pardoned,
He won't be one of those jail ho's hardoned

He was promised by Dick that if he did stick
To the script, do his shtik that he would roll over
And not be the warden's gofer
Scoot's lack of talkin' moved judge to say "I'm behooved
Because you are such a churl, to throw you in the slammer"
He packed his pajamas
But smiled all the while because the folly
Was structured so he would be jolly
The plan was to not let him be in the can

Scooter was pardoned
He won't be one of those jail ho's wardened
He'll now see the sunshine
Like the other crooks, he won't do no time

He didn't sing a tune; was no pigeon who crooned
He laughed while the judge said "I'll scold you"
Now the system's let him go
And though he wasn't a prison ho'
He was sure a ho' for the creep who's known as the veep
Whose marionette gave the order to let Scoot out
And you know who I'm talking about

He smiled all the while, because the folly
Was structured so he would be jolly
The plan was to not let him be in the can

Scooter was pardoned
He won't be one of those jail ho's hardoned
Dubya said "a small crime"
And then nullified Scooter's doing time