Leavin' the gin joint way too tight
I finished my drink, staggered out in the night
I didn't have the sense to leave my car
So drunk, so smashed, so here I are

You know I'm
Dead drunk, in the middle of the road
Dead drunk, head is fixin' to expload
Dead drunk, stomach fixin' to unload
Weavin' to high heaven

Now the bile is free, and up it rose
Rolled down the window and THAR SHE BLOWS!
Shootin' like a stream as I steer with my knees
The damn wind blew it right back in on me

Yea I was dead drunk, in the middle of the road
Dead drunk, head is fixin' to explode
Yea I was dead drunk, and continued to unload
Pukin to high heaven

I remember the cop and singin' ABC's
Was doin' alright until I got to 'D'
Sprayed that old copper with a puke monsoon
He said "With some luck you might be out by June"

Yea I was
Dead drunk, in the middle of the road
Dead drunk, head was fixin' to explode
Yea I was dead drunk, and continued to unload
Pukin' to high heaven

Damn the luck!

I blew it!
I'm dead, I'm in some trouble
Dead drunk, in some trouble
Dead drunk, I continue to unload
Pukin' to high heaven.....
All over the cop.......[Cop]"Now I'm frikkin' MAD!"
[Me]Hey, I'm not Rodney King!
That's lead!"...yea, I'm in trouble
As I'm beaten to sky high heaven