It began as just a lark
Some doofus overheard a bark
Now I’ve been indicted and my life is a living hell
We didn’t mean those dogs no harm
They were happy on our puppy farm
Oh how it sucks to be banned from the NFL

Me and you and a dog snafu
Havin’ fun and making lots of bets
It ain’t true what they said we do
Those killer pit bulls, they’re just pets

They say it’s violent crime
but so’s the Raiders’ defensive line
And like bullfights and shootin’ cats, it’s just nature’s way
We would euthanize the sick
by whackin ’em with a stick
There’s nothing wrong with that, you weirdos from the SPCA

Me and you and a dog snafu
This ghetto kid got kicked in the rear
I’m so blue ‘cause I got used to
A hundred thirty—mil a year

It’ll probably be all right
I’ll say those pooches loved to fight
Donate some money to some pansy dog charity
The sponsors will tout my career
And the fans will surely shed a tear
At the heartfelt public speech my manager wrote for me

Me and you and a dog snafu
I’m innocent, but nobody cares
Until this dog-gone mess is through
I can’t even play—for da Bears

Oh, me and you and a dog snafu
Makin’ money bettin’ on the fights
I hope it’s true that a dog can’t sue
Woof, how reality bites