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Song Parodies -> "Hallelujah"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:

Leonard Cohen

Parody Song Title:


Parody Written by:

Patrick McWilliams

The Lyrics

It appears the way to draw more attention to one's song is to do one others have already done. PBS local station is in the midst of fund raising/pledge drive this week, so Celtic Thunder and Leonard Cohen concerts are running night and day. A long, pretentious song, made even more so as the bad weather gave me time to work on it.
A song I'd rarely heard before
Six times this week or maybe more
As PBS keeps trying to renew you
Celtic Thunder and Leonard C
All night intoning solemnly
The baffling lyrics they call "Hallelujah"

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

At the Winter Games ms. k. d. lang
To the enraptured crowd she sang
For no reason I can fathom, "Hallelujah"
Except that k and len might be
From a land whose name begins with "C"
So from her lips we heard the "Hallelujah"

Hallelujah, skatin' to ya'
Hallelujah, Molson brew ya'

I remember back in sixty three
A funny man on our TV
You knew the tune, but Allen's words could fool you
'Twixt "Hello Muddah, Hello Fadd'"
And other stanzas just as odd
Was Allen Sherman singing "Hal and Lulu"

Hal and Lulu, Hal and Lulu
Hal and Lulu, Hal and Lulu

A TV show I only know
From watching other TV shows
I have no memories of my own like you do
My Dad said he despised the theme
Its silly lyrics would make him scream
So, he'd change the channel simply to eschew, who?

Howdy Doody, Howdy Doody
Howdy Doody, Howdy Doody

Dirty Harry, just for fun
Would aim his Smith and Wesson gun
It could blow a fist-sized hole clean through you
"How many bullets have I fired?"
From the fallen felon he inquired
"Do you feel lucky, punk, well, do you?"

Lucky do you, Lucky do you
Lucky do you, Lucky do you

If Tiny Tim were still around
For thirty minutes he'd expound
A marathon reprise, your brain would do flips
But, alas, poor Tiny's in the ground
So "Hallelujah" shan't resound
From the man who used to tiptoe through the tulips

Through the Tulips, Through the Tulips
Through the Tulips, Through the Tulips

Celtic Thunder's back again
Wearing skirts, though they are men
If I had a dime to pledge, I just might phone ya'
"Hallelujah" is here, so's "Ireland's Call"
"Appalachian Round-up", best of all
But the one I wish they'd sing is "Caledonia"

Caledonia, Caledonia
Caledonia, Caledonia

His song has powers to perplex
But it's really nothing more than sex
Leonard's way of saying "I'd like to screw her"
Relationship of woman-man
Could her name have been Suzanne?
It seems no one around here ever knew her

Never knew her, Never knew her
Never knew her, Never knew her

By now I've rambled way too long
Disrupting Leonard Cohen's song
Guess I'm just another chanson-vandal
Realize, it could get worse
I might compose another verse
So, in the words of the great Georg Friedrich Handel

Halleluljah! Hallelujah!
Hallelujah! Hallelujah!

I'll let you figure out what all of the above means. More mysterious that way. If you like, you can always substitute Handel's melody for the final Hallelujah's.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   8

User Comments

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Phil Nelson - March 23, 2010 - Report this comment
well written, random, and really creative!
pickle - March 23, 2010 - Report this comment
In addition, Alexandra Burke was Number one in the UK at Christmas 2008 with the same song, so us poor Brits were tormented by her extra-screechy version on any religious programmes on local radio! She wasn't Canadian, but she'd won the X-Factor competition on TV on grounds of yet another tear-jerking story.
Patrick - March 23, 2010 - Report this comment
pickle, did Alexandra Burke change the lyrics on her "religious" programme? I thought the original words were a bit risqué. Celtic Thunder does not use the same verses as Leonard Cohen.
John Barry - March 23, 2010 - Report this comment
I've been eschewing on this anthem and have decided on 5s.
Phil Alexander - March 24, 2010 - Report this comment
In a similar vein to my own "Hallelujah" parody.. liked the Dirty Harry verse - made me wish I'd thought of it :-)
Patrick - March 24, 2010 - Report this comment
Phil, thanks for the comment. I was inspired by your version to write one of my own. I have no technical knowledge of music whatsoever, I only know what I like, so I didn't feel I could tackle the subject of chords. Just about the time your parody appeared, my local PBS station started running the Celtic Thunder concert, followed by Leonard Cohen "Live from London". I put up a version of Cohen's "Suzanne", which despite being recorded by a number of well-known artists, seems to be unfamiliar to users of this site. Hence the "never knew her" line. The story of Howdy Doody is a true one. I heard all my aging baby boomer friends reminiscing about the show. I had no direct memory of it, only an obscene parody of the theme from grade school, and clips shown on documentaries. Then one day my Dad said he hated the theme and would turn to another channel before it came on. My brother likes "Hallelujah" but he wasn't sure what it was about. Normally he is much better at deciphering song meanings than I am, whereas my first impressions are based on the melody. Was hoping TT and FG would show up for this "half-assederpiece" but they must have been busy collaborating on another work of genius of their own. Security code "K22". That is the model number of a popular Smith & Wesson revolver.

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