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Song Parodies -> "Riding My Segway To 'Heaven'"

Original Song Title:

"Stairway To Heaven"

Original Performer:

Led Zepplin

Parody Song Title:

"Riding My Segway To 'Heaven'"

Parody Written by:

Dee Range

The Lyrics

For our non-American friends who may not know these references:

Geico: an automobile insurance company whose "spokesman" is a talking gecko (A small green lizard)

7-Eleven: 24-hour convenience store

Evel Kinevel: Motorcycle daredevil famous for incredible leaps over objects (He died last month)

Nascar: Famous stock car season long race series

For those too young to remember, the Hindenburg was a German blimp that caught fire and burned, killing 97 people


"Get a scooter" I'm told
'Cause I'm brittle and old
So I'm riding this Segway: it's heaven

Though the stores are all closed
When I get there (it's slow!)
And I can't RE-call just what I came for

Oooooooh...woooh ooh ooh woooh
Guess I'll ride on to 7-Eleven

There's a light on the street
Is it red? is it green?
Hell, who cares...(Guess that's why I'm called "PSYCHO")

Grazed a tree by the brook
Then I fell in the drink
And I smashed that poor gecko from Geico

Ooooh, and it made me wonder...
Hmmmmm...Did he have insurance?

When I'm feeling like shit
Too tired to throw a fit
I just jump on my Segway and take off

As I cruise on my ride
Kids on trikes pass me by
And one smart ass yells "Gramps: take the brake off!"

Ohhhh...I start to smolder
Noooo....he won't get much older

Seg-way race coming soon
So I go get mine tuned
When they're done, this thing runs like a cruise ship

Now the riders all cheer
And thank God when we hear
That the winner of first place gets new hips

{ A little music as the whole nursing home lines up their Segways for the start of the race}

So now I hustle to the front row, just like in Nascar
I come out screaming for the race lead
When I see two paths where the road forks, I take the wrong one
And hit speed bumps with an evil skid
Just like Kinevel did...

My Segway's souped up but it won't fly
A fact I should know
I land like dummies in a test gig
Dear Jesus can you hear my legs break?
This I DO know:
My Segway flies like the Hindenburg did!

Launched from that speed bump in the road
The motor revs up and explodes
The world is suddenly aglow
I see white light don't want to go
I find these streets aren't made of gold
No pearly gates of old ST PETE
Would someone please turn down the heat?
When all is said and all is done
This afterlife just ain't much fun

And I'm finding the segue...ain't heaven!

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 17

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   1
 4   0
 5   15

User Comments

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Wendy Christopher - December 10, 2007 - Report this comment
Loved it, loved it loved it! Oh, the images it put into my head..... this is hilarious, a top class 555 job!
alvin - December 10, 2007 - Report this comment
segways are automatically funny....had me cracking up here
John Barry - December 10, 2007 - Report this comment
Just in time for the Zep reunion. DEElightful.
AFW - December 10, 2007 - Report this comment
Wheely good...rolls right along
MrMacphisto - December 10, 2007 - Report this comment
One of today's best... 5-5-5
littleCupCakes - December 10, 2007 - Report this comment
A true American parody-tribute to Mr. E It really flies! And I loved the ending, too! ~CC
Invisible Boy - December 10, 2007 - Report this comment
First, props for taking on this monster of an OS. Second, the idea is a good one as your parody title is already funny and it sets us up to be ready to laugh. Third, I loved it.
Ann Hammond - December 10, 2007 - Report this comment
John Jenkins - December 10, 2007 - Report this comment
Good stuff, Dee, but the Hindenburg crashed 70 years ago! Are you suggesting that most of us are old enough to remember the event?
Guy - December 11, 2007 - Report this comment
I already had a few LOLs but here is where I completely lost it:

And one smart ass yells "Gramps: take the brake off!"

Ohhhh...I start to smolder
Noooo....he won't get much older

Did you mention that the Geico Gecko has an Aussie accent for our Aussie friends? And why would you want to do a "Mr. Bill" on the Gecko anyway? Boo-Hiss. =-)

In heaven there's no Segways
You can't drive them sideways
So if you wreck. oh well
Your Segway and you go straight to hell

This is most definately deranged!
Dee Range - December 11, 2007 - Report this comment
Wendy: Lovely comment...thanx!

alvin: You're already 'cracked up!' a good way lol.

John Barry: I think Segway is sponsoring the Zep reunion tour: they'll roll right onstage on 'em!

Mr Macphisto: Thanks so much!

littleCupCake: Glad you liked the ending! I found it irresistible to use segue for Sefway there.

Invisible Boy:Second time I've done the's not as hard as it seems at first glance, especially for some one as talented as you. Give it a whirl...

Ann: Thanx

John Jenkins: A lot of us are old enough to remember the first Christmas LOL! Tnanks!

Guy: The gecko was smashed when I fell off the Segway and landed in the drink....not intentionally. p.s. ...I had forgotten all about "Mr Bill" from SNL....Brought back a lot of laughs. Thanks so much for the kind words.
Dee Range - December 11, 2007 - Report this comment
AFW: forgot to thank you above. It's the 'zeimers', I swear! Thanks again.
Agrimorfee - December 11, 2007 - Report this comment
Meatloaf should sing this instead of "Bat Out Of Hell" from now on. One of the better "SoH" parodies I've seen here.
Red Ant - December 11, 2007 - Report this comment
Lots of funny and original stuff here, Dee. Love the gag about if the gecko had insurance and "Noooo....he won't get much older". Maybe a follow up to AC/DC's "Highway To Hell" called "Segway From Hell"? 555.
Dee Range - December 11, 2007 - Report this comment
Thanks, Ag

Red Ant: Glad you liked it: I don't know AC/DC, so have at it! Segway from/to Hell sounds do-able!
stuart mcarthur - December 12, 2007 - Report this comment
absolutely brilliantly brilliant, Dee - you never waver do you? - loved the idea and the whole goldarned thing - esp."Gramps: take the brake off" which made me literally LOL - 555
stuart mcarthur - December 12, 2007 - Report this comment
I was just reminded of the latest Seinfeld gag, about those walking-frames old people have, and the fact that they have brakes on them.....

Seinfeld: "It seems to me, that if you need a brake for your walking-frame, then maybe you've been misdiagnosed"
Dee Range - December 12, 2007 - Report this comment
Stu, gracias amigo...I remember that Seinfeld, and could have even used that subconsciously for inspiration. I've seen them all way too many times to count, and have been inspired by several episodes.
Adam - June 09, 2008 - Report this comment
o...m...g...u r my hero...
Bob Kerns - October 13, 2008 - Report this comment
I googled looking for songs about Segways, and this is what I came up with? (grin) I can't wait for the music video! You might be amused to know -- life imitating art -- that SegFesT 2008 was held at the Indianapolis racetrack, and yes, people did get to race their Segways on the track. I couldn't make it, but I've seen the video. Kid: Pop a wheelie! Me: I already am, can't you tell? And that bit about being passed by trikes -- sheesh. First we get banned from the sidewalks in SF because we CAN go 12.5 MPH (20 KPH), even though, unlike a bike, we can go 0.01 (0.016) if that's how fast people around us are moving. Now we're getting grief for being too slow? Nah, tell that kid, "breath my electrons!"

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