Song Parodies -> (It's On My) Rider
| Original Song Title: | "Traveling Riverside Blues" |
| Original Performer: | Led Zeppelin |
| Parody Song Title: | "(It's On My) Rider" |
| Parody Written by: | McKludge |
A rider is an addition to a performer's contract specifying what the performer will need. Most are simple, but some performers are very demanding... DKTOS?: find it here but it doesn't contain one of the stanzas before the break
Yeah
That's right
Asked promoter, let them play my club
He said, "They’re free in 3 weeks but now, here’s the rub"
Well you know these babies, they’re well known for their conceit
He said they got this rider, and it’s pretty tough to meet
Now, I’ll take your number, fax their rider to your place
It’s really long, get more paper, just in case, yeah
I know it reads like they were, just really freaking high
But if you ignore it, you bet you’ll kiss your show goodbye
Get a doctor, tell him, tell him be on call
Plus a Rabbi and a shrine to St. Paul
Scented candles, unfiltered cigarettes
They won’t play for your concert, ‘til the rider’s been met
Eight Frappachinos, on the rider
’86 Bordeaux, on the rider
Echinacea and hard cider
It’s on page sixteen, just read the rider
I know you’re thinking that this rider makes no sense
But ‘cha better just do what it says, and don’t spare no expense
When you buy flowers make sure, no chrysanthemums please
Keep the drummer’s room, at eighty degrees
Spoken: Oh yeah, they’ll need a full kitchen
Autograph from Tom Brady
A humongous bamboo wind chime
And get the Real Slim Shady
With a half dozen pantomimes
Speakers so loud make the devil soil his pants
Twenty hookers, with double-D implants
Amp that goes to eleven, like the dude from Spinal Tap
Spoken: I think you know the dude that I’m talking about
And you better stack those speakers high
And keep the stage clear ‘cause they like to dance
Yeah, it’s a hard rider
Hot wings from Beef O’Brady’s
Everything in this rider you’ll provide, yeah
Make sure the front steps are lined with gold
Hummus and tamarasalata, Froot Loops and Cap’n Crunch
And some Kellogg’s Sugar Pops…
That's right
Asked promoter, let them play my club
He said, "They’re free in 3 weeks but now, here’s the rub"
Well you know these babies, they’re well known for their conceit
He said they got this rider, and it’s pretty tough to meet
Now, I’ll take your number, fax their rider to your place
It’s really long, get more paper, just in case, yeah
I know it reads like they were, just really freaking high
But if you ignore it, you bet you’ll kiss your show goodbye
Get a doctor, tell him, tell him be on call
Plus a Rabbi and a shrine to St. Paul
Scented candles, unfiltered cigarettes
They won’t play for your concert, ‘til the rider’s been met
Eight Frappachinos, on the rider
’86 Bordeaux, on the rider
Echinacea and hard cider
It’s on page sixteen, just read the rider
I know you’re thinking that this rider makes no sense
But ‘cha better just do what it says, and don’t spare no expense
When you buy flowers make sure, no chrysanthemums please
Keep the drummer’s room, at eighty degrees
Spoken: Oh yeah, they’ll need a full kitchen
Autograph from Tom Brady
A humongous bamboo wind chime
And get the Real Slim Shady
With a half dozen pantomimes
Speakers so loud make the devil soil his pants
Twenty hookers, with double-D implants
Amp that goes to eleven, like the dude from Spinal Tap
Spoken: I think you know the dude that I’m talking about
And you better stack those speakers high
And keep the stage clear ‘cause they like to dance
Yeah, it’s a hard rider
Hot wings from Beef O’Brady’s
Everything in this rider you’ll provide, yeah
Make sure the front steps are lined with gold
Hummus and tamarasalata, Froot Loops and Cap’n Crunch
And some Kellogg’s Sugar Pops…
for some examples of wacky contract riders, look here
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
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| 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | |||||||||||||||||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | |||||||||||||||||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | |||||||||||||||||||||||
| 4 | 0 | 0 | 0 | |||||||||||||||||||||||
| 5 | 13 | 13 | 13 |
User Comments Follow...
Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.
many wonderful lines and a unique concept
555 green M&Ms
Excellent idea, McKludge, and very well done...consider this for Song of the Month? (see message board)
(SOTM) Wow! What a song choice, what a concept, awesome execution, outrageous demands... This is a masterpiece right here. And you're buying a Stairway to SOTM. 555
(SOTM) You have some stiff competition, but this will definitely be in my top 5!
SOTM - I like list parodies, and this one was unique (surprisingly enough).
Greener
(SOTM) Led Zeppelin? I should know the OS, but again youtube has dumped it due to copyright - but the theme and the lines were great, McKludge - you just KNOW they'll be wanting Froot Loops - that should be a line in the standard contract - and if I was the hotel, I would read the drummer's "80 degrees" requirement as Celsius - 555
You tube must have moved it, or it dropped and was reloaded. The OS can be found here now
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FQ2Vv2xZ5pc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FQ2Vv2xZ5pc
(SOTM) Now THAT is an original concept. Great work McKludge!
Awesome job McKludge. Annoying OS, but an awesome parody!
SOTM - Mmm, Froot Loops and Cap'n Crunch. Breakfast of Champions -- and kooky music performers! Pretty crazy parody.
LOL! Practically the same thing Stu said. 5-5-5
er... "tamarasalata"? (isn't that a Bob Marley song?)
But a great (and eminently believable) list of demands :-D
But a great (and eminently believable) list of demands :-D
(SOTM) I think you a very talented writer. . .and I think you are probably really good at comedy too. . .but I just didn't laugh much here. . .but good write none the less
(SOTM) Very good!, (For some reason the security code is TUT?!?!?!)
(SOTM) As an eminent Amiright voter and commenter, my demands are thus. A dwarf dressed as Braveheart serving me Beluga and Vegimite sandwiches (no crusts please) while Jennifer Connelly pours a vintage 68 Chateau Du Gatorade down my lazyass throat. ;-) Seriously good fun, mate. 555
Awesome parody and OS, 5s!
SOTM - Nice. This OS's style makes it tough to pace, and it looks like you did a good job of it.
Thanks to all who voted, particularly
Agri - Thanks for the SOTM nomination and for the third place vote.
Chris - If only I could buy the talent to win SOTM :-)
Peter - Thanks for the second place vote
Stuart - The OS was never officially released until the Remasters box set, probably why you don't recall it.
Phil - Tamarasalata is a Greek disk of fish roe, lemon juice, onion, garlic, and olive oil. And it sounds funny, too.
Kristof - Will you settle for the Travelocity gnome, a Fluffernutter, and a waitress with a gin and tonic?
Agri - Thanks for the SOTM nomination and for the third place vote.
Chris - If only I could buy the talent to win SOTM :-)
Peter - Thanks for the second place vote
Stuart - The OS was never officially released until the Remasters box set, probably why you don't recall it.
Phil - Tamarasalata is a Greek disk of fish roe, lemon juice, onion, garlic, and olive oil. And it sounds funny, too.
Kristof - Will you settle for the Travelocity gnome, a Fluffernutter, and a waitress with a gin and tonic?
The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.
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