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Song Parodies -> "Steroids Are Heaven"

Original Song Title:

"Stairway To Heaven"

Original Performer:

Led Zeppelin

Parody Song Title:

"Steroids Are Heaven"

Parody Written by:

Alvin Rhodes

The Lyrics

there's a player who's sure that his homers mean gold
and he's cryin' that steroids are heaven
when he gets shots, he knows, that his power will grow
with a word, he can get what he came for
ooh...ooh....and he's cryin' that steroids are heaven

takes a whack at the ball...and its gone, to be sure
and he knows all the fans will be screamin'
when these drugs have been took...it enhances his swing
its his trainer who's doin' the givin'
ooh...he's made a blunder...ooh...he's made a blunder

there's a feelin' he gets...he feels stronger...you bet
but his power is really deceivin'
though, he ought to come clean, for the game, it demeans
but right now, how his ballclub is cookin'
ooh...he's made his blunder..ooh...he's made a blunder

and its rumored that soon, that he may meet his doom
for he's taken this drug, beyond reason
and at last, it may dawn, that his strength is all gone
and his life will be zero, soon after

he had small muscles...now, they're full grown
he's such a beast now
he says its training, but he's fakin'
yes, there are some drugs, you should pass by
cause in the long run
in due time, you'll find they've done you wrong
and he's made a blunder

your time is comin', and you'll soon go
in case you don't know
the reaper's callin' you to join him
hey slugger, don't you know this stuff blows
or don't you know
these steroids kill when you reach the end

but yet, you shoot another load
you cannot stop, to save your soul
though you're a name, all sports fans know
with lots of fancy stats to show
and everything you touch is gold
but you will come down really hard
and though you think its gonna last
you will no longer hit the ball
you'll be in shock...out of control
yet, he's cryin' that steroids are heaven

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 19

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 1
 1
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   18
 18
 18
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Stuart McArthur - October 19, 2004 - Report this comment
I'm first here? Beauty! I get to say "You've whacked this one clean out of the park, Alvin" - great title - 555
Dee Range - October 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Absolutely superb, alvin. You need to record this and send it to Barry Bonds, post haste. Super high 5's
Steve K. - October 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Funny because it's true.
Royce Miller - October 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Alvin, a thoughtful rendering about a timely topic
Johnny D - October 19, 2004 - Report this comment
555 mg of Testosterone Cypionate, Testosterone Enanthate, Testosterone Propionate, Testosterone Suspension, and Testosterone Theramex. And you can wash it all down with a liter or two of RED BULL.
Ashkicksass - October 19, 2004 - Report this comment
You hit this one out of the park, baby!
alvin rhodes - October 19, 2004 - Report this comment
i hate the san francisco "pygmies" and bonds in particular...he should have a big big asterisk by his records saying "drug enhanced statistics"...thanks, everyone for looking
Dee Range - October 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Alvin, I agree totally with you sentiments on Bonds....The most arrogant player in history should be ERASED from the record books, in my opinion...
John Barry - October 19, 2004 - Report this comment
A grand slam, alvin--especially the title. Go Sox!
Guy - October 19, 2004 - Report this comment
And they threw Pete Rose out of baseball for a bit of gambling. Which is worse? Well done Alvin. Your batting average on this one is .555.
MasonR - October 19, 2004 - Report this comment
With the recent death of Ken Caminiti (SP?) after he admitted that he was a user during his best year, this is very timely. Time to clean up my favorite sport!
alvin rhodes - October 19, 2004 - Report this comment
thanks john guy and mason....i love baseball and i hate what steroids are doing to the game....while i'm on the subject, they make way too much money too
Jonathan C. - October 19, 2004 - Report this comment
These athletes don't want to be role models because I lot of them are selfish. It's sad that the children that look up to these people think it's cool to use performance enhancing drugs and die young. BTW, total of 15.
Michael Pacholek - October 19, 2004 - Report this comment
It is high, it is far, it is... GONE! A five-run home run! This was barry, barry good. In the same league as my "The Record of Edmund Fitzgerald."
LucidLupin LeeBee - October 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Superb! 5s of course ;)
Paul Robinson - October 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Excellent job, alvin. not an easy OS to pace, either, but you did it wonderfully...hmmm...have they checked YOU for some sort of "Parody-Enhancing Steriod" substances? Oh, wait...those are called "brains"...never mind...
Stuart McArthur - October 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Ash! errr, wavelength again - check my comment (number 1)
Kristof Robertson - October 20, 2004 - Report this comment
Insightful, well constructed, and poignant....lovely! 555
Steve K. - October 20, 2004 - Report this comment
Jon-These guys just don't realize that kids will look up to them, and they will become role models, whether they want to or not. Guy-What I find so amazing is that MLB is so forgiving to the players if they abuse drugs and take certain performance enhancers, but if one of them gambles, the sin is unforgivable. I remember how Willie Mays, after retiring, was employed as a greeter at a casino, and was forced to give up that position.
alvin rhodes - October 20, 2004 - Report this comment
thank you all....i appreciate the comments
shanah smith - October 20, 2004 - Report this comment
Wonderfully written!! 555 :)
Ingeborg S. Nordén - October 21, 2004 - Report this comment
One, two, three fives--you're OUT of the ordinary here!
alvin rhodes - October 21, 2004 - Report this comment
thank you both

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