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Song Parodies -> "Fairway In 7"

Original Song Title:

"Stairway To Heaven"

Original Performer:

Led Zeppelin

Parody Song Title:

"Fairway In 7"

Parody Written by:

Paul Robinson

The Lyrics

I played golf with fellow "amiright" Author John Jenkins about a week ago. I hadn't played at all in about 3 years and I played very badly and also had some trouble with the heat. But all-in-all I still enjoyed the round. John's a great guy and we got a chance to talk about parodies and other stuff. It was a pleasure to play the round with him and we both got to know a little bit about each other. The bitching and moaning I do in the parody is over-exaggerated for effect; I really had a much better time than is indicated in my story below. But all the instances of bad shots referred to below are 100% totally true; I WAS still on some fairways in "7". I did make some divots in the fairway, although I did try to replace them. Most of my tee shots stayed very low. I did my best to smile and enjoy the day without sulking. I DID whiff on some shots when I tried to play a couple holes on the back nine. I managed to reach a couple par three greens in "2". I actually did make one fairly long putt - thankfully, at least my putting wasn't really that bad. My bout with the heat and dehydration hit me about the 8th hole and at the turn I knocked down a couple of large "Gatorade" type drinks and then ordered a burger, which seemed to help. And I only played a couple of holes on the back nine, preferring to take it easy in the cart and just watch for the most part. I DID start to feel a lot better after having the food & plenty of mineral-replenishing fluids. And yes, I really DID play TERRIBLY...
I went golfing one day
with the Author John J.
I was still on the fairway in "7"

I did not play too well
In fact I stunk like hell
Was the worst that I ever had played, sure

Ooh, ooh my ball lies on the fairway in "7"
And then John said "Hey, Paul,
you're not really that poor
'Cause your swing has some factors redeeming
Off the tee you don't hook
If you lengthen your swing
perhaps some of your shots will gain distance"

Oohhh, and it makes me mutter
Oohhh, bad oaths were uttered

I was getting upset
my golf game was a mess
From the fairway deep divots I'm leaving
All my shots from the tees
barely rose above my knees
I tried hard not to do any sulking

Oohhh, I can't use my putter
Oohhh, all my shots grass-cutters

And I whiffed on a few
your score that sure will ruin
when you're still on the fairway in "7"

There were some par threes where in "two" shots I reached the green
That was a cause for me rejoicing
And later somehow I canned a long putt
but my game still sucked
I played just terribly the whole round

Oohhh, bad oaths I uttered
I played so crumby that my ego
began to sink low
My mind set was becoming quite grim
Then later right around the 8th hole
I started to moan
Dehydration had begun to set in

So while the others made the turn
For fluids I began to yearn
Drank lots of Gatorade; real cold
And on the back nine; could not go
I ate a burger; made me full
And after that stayed in the cart
I felt much better very fast
When we were done I was relaxed
My round did suck, I had to fold

Every fairway; was lying in "7"

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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.7
How Funny: 4.0
Overall Rating: 4.0

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   2
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   4

User Comments

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alvin rhodes - May 09, 2004 - Report this comment
all i've ever played is miniature golf......nice job on this one....i hope a bunch of bad golfers don't give ya "ones"
Paul Robinson - May 09, 2004 - Report this comment
Alvin, thanks. Could they be any worse than I was?
Bob Gomez - May 10, 2004 - Report this comment
Hey, Paul, back in the swing of things? I've never played golf, so I'm sure I would suck much worse than you. On the fairway in 555!--d;:^)
Paul Robinson - May 10, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks, Bob. Yeah, I'm doin' alright...
martha - June 01, 2004 - Report this comment
How odd that we should both have come up with a similar parody to this tune .... still it is a pretty obvious switch from Stairway to Fairway ! Sorry you didn't play so well this time..but hey at least you play..!.. mine was a work of the imagination ... not experience!
Paul Robinson - June 01, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks for looking in Martha. Things like that do seem to happen now and then on the site. I really never even had considered using a Led Zep song until right after I played that round of golf. I was thinking about how really funny it was that I played so incredibly bad while I was driving home that evening from the Golf Course. It crossed my mind that more than once I WAS still on the fairway after 7 shots. I was mulling "Fairway in seven" over, muttering through a stupid grin and next thing I know I'm thinking up parody lines from "Stairway". I sort of recall one of the other writers had used "Stairway" for a different parody within the previous week and that may have steered me in that direction also.
martha - June 01, 2004 - Report this comment
I will check that one oput too!! The title for mine was a suggestion from a member of my husband's cricket team...I just took it from there..
Paul Robinson - June 04, 2004 - Report this comment
Martha, thanks for looking in.

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