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Song Parodies -> "Straight Way from Havens"

Original Song Title:

"Stairway to Heaven"

Original Performer:

Led Zeppelin

Parody Song Title:

"Straight Way from Havens"

Parody Written by:

Susanna Viljanen

The Lyrics

Another mandatory Tolkien spoof. Perhaps the saddest of all - the Elves had to flee the Middle-Earth after the destruction of the One Ring lest they slowly fade and become but invisible shadows not unlike the Ringwraiths. The nastiest work of Morgoth was to poison the very essence of Middle-Earth so it makes the Elves to fade and the Men to fear death. But that is the fate of Arda Marred.
There's a route over the Sea
that the Elves only see
and it's known as the Straight Way from Havens
All the tired of Firstborn
who see Middle-Earth old grown
they can go West by Straight Way from Havens
Ooh - ooh - to the Aman on Straight Way from Havens

There's a shipwright so old
name of Cirdan he's called
and he builds all those white ships for Eldar
And the land of Lindon
in the town of Mithlond
Is the last home for Elves who leave this world

Ooh, it makes me long there,
Ooh, it makes me long there.

There's a feeling I get
when I look to the west,
And my spirit is crying for leaving.
When the power of Rings
fade, and all those nice things
are swept away with the tides of Time streaming
Ooh, it makes me long there,
Ooh, it really makes me long there.

And it's promised for all
Elves that answer the call
of the Valar, may sail to the Aman
Even those who once messed,
rebelled, fled from realm blessed
are allowed to return to the Elven-land

Now there's a bright star, in the evening, shining strong now
It's Silmaril of Eärendil
Yes, it shows the way we are on our home now
The Men shall Middle-Eart inherit!
(And it makes me long there).

All Eldar yearn there, and it won't go, in the case you don't know -
It's Varda calling you to join her!
Dear Lady, can you hear the wind blow, and did you know
It's Straight Way lying on the whispering wind.

And as we hoist the sails and go
the Curv-ed Earth will yield below!
We travel far above the clouds
We'll see the Lady we all know
Who shines white light and wants to show
How everything still turns to gold.

As we arrive to Elven-Home
and land the port of Avallonë
and smell the scent of the sea foam
we know we finally are home!

So we're heading for Straight Way from Havens.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.0
How Funny: 2.8
Overall Rating: 2.9

Total Votes: 13

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   6
 2   0
 3   1
 4   0
 5   6

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Susanna Viljanen - July 09, 2014 - Report this comment
So it is the Mister Number Ones Man again, huh? Go ahead, sonny boy, we are all expecting to see here your own parody.
Callmelennie - July 09, 2014 - Report this comment
Tolkien himself would give you 5's for this, Susanna. This is probably the most "Tolkien-esque" of all Tolkien parodies. And Led Zeppelin is a most appropriate band to use as they often make Tolkien allusions in their music

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