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Song Parodies -> "A Killer Blast Planned (On A 650cc BSA Lightning)"

Original Song Title:

"Achilles Last Stand"

Original Performer:

Led Zeppelin

Parody Song Title:

"A Killer Blast Planned (On A 650cc BSA Lightning)"

Parody Written by:

Andy Primus

The Lyrics

The joys of a typical British summer. The words follow the original studio recording - they won't match up so well to the lyric page on the net that I used which was slightly wrong in places & had to be amended.
It was a Beezer Lightning...that we rode on to the show
An' it was coloured blue, low miled an' sign of dayglow
Oh, the ton we have...for highs an' thrills we're always glad
Oh, it makes me ride so fast an' burn again

Sendin' me to bikin' bliss...past those who ride too slow
I know the streets an' shift the gears...the Beezer's got a soul
Oh, I ride country lanes on summer days
Oh, this bike's a dream...ridin' sweet an' revvin' mean, yeah

I'm on a run, head south to Porth...I hope the bike will cope
My mate in front, he slipped an' faeces on the ground
Oh, his leg was bled from there, above the shin
Oh, we laugh out loud...ridin' off it's fraught with clouds, yeah

It's bleak in Porth, we won't be tanned...we've all come down with colds
We're campin' here, we need a's churned up so we moan
All our clothes we wring...precipitation makes 'em cling
Aghast, we feel defeat...the clouds ahead bring heavy sleet, yeah

(Guitar interlude while we're all stuck in our tents waiting for the weather to improve)

Day's now dry, wave us goodbye...but now infernal winds a blow
An' by the way, many Brits will know
Oh, the sleet an' rain...thought it gone but comes again
Oh, Alan wants to race...his ol' Norton is my bane

Gun the thing, I gun the pace, I'm left in lurch
Oh, the mighty Norton Atlas...old but really shows its worth

Oh, the mighty Norton Atlas...old but really shows its worth
Shows its worth...worth
I'm blown away, blown away, blown away, blown away
I'm blown away, blown away, blown away, blown away


Oh, the mighty Norton Atlas...old but really shows its worth

Fond memories from my youth in the early 1980's with a bit of embellishment to make it fit. It wasn't Porth (a town in south Wales) & he did have a low speed spill but he didn't land in dog poo - apart from that it's pretty much a true story of one of our weekend ride outs. My inspiration for this one came from the 'arms of Atlas' bit - it always makes me think of my mate Alan and the Norton that he used to have. This has actually happened to us several times over the years when going on bike runs. You leave home in England in brilliant sunshine and as you get nearer to the Welsh border you can see the rain clouds building over the mountains. By the time you get there it's chucking it down. The next bit will only be of interest to fellow bikers. The Beezer Lightning was a 1968 BSA 650cc A65L. The 750cc Norton Atlas was from 1963, was in standard trim and had a similar performance to the Beezer Lightning (top speed 108 mph). To really be blown away by an Atlas it would have had to have been the Dunstall Norton Atlas Sprint (top speed 130 mph). The bike my mate had a low speed spill from was a 1970 500cc BSA A50 Royal Star. For the past twelve years I have owned a 1969 Triumph Bonneville 650cc T120R (top speed 112 mph although I've only ever had 102 mph out of mine because of the weight and wind resistance - I'm 6 feet 6 & 268 pounds). My mates take the mickey out of me quite a bit when we're out riding because they say I look like a normal sized bloke riding a 125cc - good job I've got a sense of humour. For those who have heard the stories about old bikes from this era being nothing but trouble, they're only like that if they are not maintained regularly. My bike has only ever let me down once where it couldn't be fixed at the side of the road with a basic tool kit. I've had about half a dozen minor problems which were fixed on the spot. The main problem is vibration making things come loose such as one time a wire inside the headlamp shell came off the ammeter and the bare end touched metal which caused a short - spent ages trying to work out what the problem was but another mate I was with at the time eventually solved it and we were on our way again. Happy biking. Toodle pip.

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   1
 4   0
 5   6

User Comments

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McKludge - September 22, 2008 - Report this comment
One of my favorite Zeppelin OS's, and you hit the pacing well. A good story, but a little 'you had to be there'.

Back during the Democratic primary race, I wanted to write a parody of this called "Hillary's Last Stand" but I couldn't make it work.
Andy Primus - September 22, 2008 - Report this comment
Thanks McKudge - I agree, I originally intended not to put this one on the site because it's a personal story but then I thought what the heck, no one else has done the OS & if there are any other old bikers who use this site then it might get them reminiscing as well. I must say though that out of the 20 odd that I've done so far I've enjoyed doing this one the most.
Andy Primus - September 22, 2008 - Report this comment
Oops, make that McKludge not McKudge
alvin - September 22, 2008 - Report this comment
fits the frantic pace of the OS well
Andy Primus - September 22, 2008 - Report this comment
Thanks Alvin - bit of a different approach to bikers than your one a few weeks ago. With the exception of the steal a lot of things & creepy, desperate lines your one reminded me of quite a few people I have known/still know - funny stuff
AFW - September 22, 2008 - Report this comment
Very good phrasing and story telling, here...
Andy Primus - September 22, 2008 - Report this comment
Thanks AFW

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