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Song Parodies -> "Carrion, My Wayward Son"

Original Song Title:

"Carry On Wayward Son"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Kansas

Parody Song Title:

"Carrion, My Wayward Son"

Parody Written by:

Patrick McWilliams

The Lyrics

I had the first line or two floating around in my head for a while but didn't have a "story" I could work with. Then I heard about these flakeheads walking around looking for imaginary "Pokémen" lurking in various places around the world. A couple of them walked into my friend's costume shop the other day and "saw" a cartoon monster in a gown on the coat rack. Of course, the monster only existed on their telephone screens. But they could "see" it. The game has been known to lead its devotees over cliffs, down open manholes and into questionable neighborhoods, such as where my friend's store is located. I could imagine the fate of someone whose quest for the elusive and semi-existent could lead him "way" off the beaten path.
Carrion, my wayward son
Vultures feast 'til you are done
Eat your head and then the rest
And they fly some more

He walked the streets in fevered concentration
And paid no heed to any destination
Just kept playing ever harder, until he was lost

To his surroundings he was like a blind man
"Just what the hell are you hoping to find, man?"
The feathered harpies were all screaming
No one heard him say:

"Carrion, you strayward son
Now I wish I'd brought a gun
Fists and feet, I did my best
Just can't fight no more".

Masquerading as a game, what's the reason
All this nonsense is the rage of the season?
I don't pretend to understand it
But I think it means that they're all nuts

In the desert sands of thirst and starvation
He could not survive the heat, deprivation
Blown away by the winds, his footprints
I heard the searchers say,

"We just found your wayward son
Best not look what birds have done
Put your desperate hope to rest
But, he'll cry no more".

Carrion
I will always remember
Carrion
What scavengers dismember
Now, your life's too quickly ended
And not much remains of you

So, beware, my younger son
Don't do what your brother's done
Leave those silly fads alone
I won't cry
I won't cry no more

No more!

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 17

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 1
 1
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   16
 16
 16
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Martin Gale - July 21, 2016 - Report this comment
You'd think that time would be dead by now, what with all the people out there trying to kill it. 555
Jonathan - July 21, 2016 - Report this comment
haven't seen a "Pokemon" craze this strong since the '90s only this time I really don't understand the appeal! 5's
Rob Arndt - July 21, 2016 - Report this comment
Fives!
https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--DHgiMP2D--/c_fit,fl_progressive,q_80,w_636/dtyd0r9nbghe9yu9xq17.jpg
Rob Arndt - July 21, 2016 - Report this comment
Sorry about the previous link. You are obviously referring to Pokémon GO: http://kotaku.com/the-rare-pokemon-go-monsters-that-no-one-has-caught-yet-1784030685
Patrick - July 21, 2016 - Report this comment
My phone only makes calls. I can't find imaginary cartoon characters with it. I'm in a trance much of the time anyway, no use looking for further distractions. Thanks, Rob. I didn't know exactly what it was I was referring to until you told me.
Timmy1000 - July 21, 2016 - Report this comment
I heard one news story today where someone was following a "phone" pokemon while driving and ran into a police car. They also had a picture of a guy over in Bosnia headed out to an old mine field, going right past a warning sign. Nice title - switching over to "carrion".
Chigaru - July 25, 2016 - Report this comment
This game is illegal in Africa and Saudi Arabia. It's considered evil and immoral.
Patrick - July 25, 2016 - Report this comment
Is there anything that isn't illegal in Saudi Arabia?
Peter Andersson - August 01, 2016 - Report this comment
You beat me to this subject by a whole week and I didn't even notice (until now)! Great work! I also notice that we both managed to write about it without using a single specifik Pokemon's name, not that I know any, and I'm guessing those that do know such names are still out there criss-crossing between 18-wheelers on the freeway.

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