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Song Parodies -> "Marry Don, My Eldest Son"

Original Song Title:

"Carry On Wayward Son"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"Marry Don, My Eldest Son"

Parody Written by:

Paul Robinson

The Lyrics

Don's gonna be 43 in September, his Jewish Mom would REALLY like him to get married. Here she is talking to a "Nice Jewish Girl" she just met through a neighbor...
Marry Don, my eldest son
I'll have peace when this is done
You will see it's for the best
Single guy no more

If you marry him according to my plan
You will find that he's a gentle and kind man
And though you think he might be boring
He can really swing

Though he's shy you'll see that he is a fine man
He will always do whatever you demand
And just because he doesn't date much
Doesn't mean he's gay

Marry Don, my eldest son
He is really lot's of fun
He will give you all the best
Single guy no more

The cross-dressing 's just a phase that he's been in
Intercourse might be the thing to release him
And though he doesn't seem to like girls
I still don't think that it's too late
I can guarantee his constant devotion
Did I mention he just got a promotion?
And though he doesn't like to date much
That doesn't mean that he is gay

Marry Don, my eldest son
We will feast when this is done
You will see it's for the best
Single guy no more

Marry Don
He will be a big spender
Marry Don
Validating his gender
This will prove he's not a gay man
He will buy bling-bling for you

Marry Don, my eldest son
I'll be pleased when this is done
No, I won't give this a rest
Now I'll whine some more
And THIS time I double-checked the spelling of my name.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 12

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   11

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

mac - March 05, 2004 - Report this comment
Sorry Paul, Don's not my type... And besides, I've got a wife...
Paul ERobinson - March 05, 2004 - Report this comment
mac - Well, nonetheless Don's Mother will keep on trying. Thanks.
Paul Robinson - March 05, 2004 - Report this comment
ChuckyG - Hmmm...The same thing happened to this parody as what happened to Forrest Emerine's one the other day...the site picked up an extra space AFTER the last letter of my last name and put this on a "New Author" page. There's no way to see that when you are proof-reading because it looks fine in the preview so if it's possible I'd appreciate it if you could somehow get this over to my regular page at some point. When I combined that with my "fat-fingering" foul-up of 2 days ago this will give me 3 author pages. I'm not QUITE that "schizoid". Thanks.
Ravyn Rant - March 05, 2004 - Report this comment
It's going to be really hard to listen to the original without laughing now. Great job!
Meriadoc - March 05, 2004 - Report this comment
You improved the OS 100%! :-D
alvin rhodes - March 05, 2004 - Report this comment
my first wife was jewish...i wish SHE had married don....5s
Tevya - March 05, 2004 - Report this comment
Oy vay!
Paul Robinson - March 06, 2004 - Report this comment
Ravyn R, Meriadoc, Alvin, Tevya - Thanks for your votes and comments. It was fun to write. M.Doc - feel the same way about the orriginal. Comments short today, bandage on main typing finger is had reduced my typing speed and accuracy to near zero. It's possible some of you may be relieved by this situation. I'm not even gonna proff-read this. It should be close to what I wanna say. Thanks again.
Cheezmeister - March 06, 2004 - Report this comment
It's always funny to say "bling" in a parody! (hee...hmm... snik...bling...hmm.....) NIce work on an already great song, 5s if i did the vote thing
Paul Robinson - March 06, 2004 - Report this comment
Cheezmeister - Thanks for the comment.
Adagio - March 07, 2004 - Report this comment
Really good read, Paul!! How do you check for extra author pages if the submission has picked up a blank after the name?
Guy - March 07, 2004 - Report this comment
Fun read. Well done.
Paul Robinson - March 07, 2004 - Report this comment
Adadio, Thanks, only way to see extra author page in this instance is from within this parody to click "more parodies by this author". You won't find this parody anywhere else. I'll willing to take the whack for my screw-up in spelling my name on "Every Day" but this one should be transferred to my other page, there was no way for me to see a problem in "Preview" mode while I was editing it. So to KNOW to check, you would have to have noticed it didn't get originally credited to your main author page. Don't have time today to write ChuckyG but I will next week. Thanks. Guy, Thank you, too.
David Chrenko - March 07, 2004 - Report this comment
How did I miss this one? Paul, this is great! LOL PIMP (PIMP? - involves bodily fluids and trousers)
Paul Robinson - March 07, 2004 - Report this comment
David C - Well, I don't know. This one must have a "Cosmic" "Miss Me" aura around it. Somehow and extra space AFTER my last name (which you cannot see in "preview mode") put this on a separate Author page (I guess I've whined about this about 4 times now, but I'm home with a cold and a little cranky this morning). Actually, folks are finding it but it won't be on my Author's page unless I can cajole CG into somehow moving it (I don't know if that's even possible). But thanks, glad you liked it.
Adagio - March 07, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks for explaining about the extra author page, Paul!
Paul Robinson - March 07, 2004 - Report this comment
Adagio - No problem. Hope you don't have any of them.
David Chrenko - March 09, 2004 - Report this comment
Paul, I think this one gets my Best Parody Title of the Week award. I'm saving it for my Best of Am I Right archives.
Paul Robinson - March 09, 2004 - Report this comment
David C - I'm highly flattered. Thank you very much. I just get a huge kick out of picturing the 70-ish Jewish Mother running this by a 30-35-ish Jewish woman who is desperately looking around for someone she might know to save her. Hey, and "Mom" shows her "hipness" too, throwing in the promise of "bling-bling" from single Don should the marriage occur.
Paul Robinson - March 26, 2004 - Report this comment
Forrest? The "Pig Latin" spell seems to have turned things around. I notice all the postings after yours now are appearing in "Bold-Face". I also noticed that some-one "1"'d this song today. So I don't know if that's you, my friend (kinda doubt it) or someone playing name-games again. (oh, well, whatever)...
Forrest Emerine - March 26, 2004 - Report this comment
I didn't mean to screw this up!!! Sorry, Paul, the darn system is screwed because of someone using Pig Latin in a comment. My fault. Hey, do you ever go to the song generator? It can be pretty funny if you type in crap you know doesn't make a darn bit of sense!
Paul Robinson - March 27, 2004 - Report this comment
Forrest E. - Seriously? Well, ok - if that's how you feel about it. But it is a perfectly acceptable word of the English language. Any connotation one takes from it beyond that is strictly in the eyes(and mind) of the reader. Of and by itself I do not believe it is inappropriate. You should look it up in Webster's or any Standard American Dictionary, then decide as to its probity. At any rate, I will point out that it IS unfair to judge the PACE by your disapproval of my verbiage. Remember, voting carries with it a responsibility to be open and fair and to carefully study the choices. If you have expectations of me with regard to my craft then it's only fair I hold you to some standards as a reader and informed voter. I'm not angry with you for your decision, I still consider you and I friends, OK? But I would like you to look up these words I used above: (1) connotation (2) probity (3) verbiage (4) inappropriate (5) intercourse. You're still young and we may as well turn the fun, praise, criticism, agreements and disagreements into a Learning Experience for you. You don't have to report to me with your study findings but I DO expect you to look them up and understand them as part of being a colleague and a correspondent on this site. If you do as I ask here I will gracefully accept your voting choice on this parody. That is also part of being a colleague; accepting that opinions between friends and other colleagues may differ for any number of reasons, but as long as they are carefully thought out and fair you must learn to respect them and accept them with grace, and not strike out in anger or have a tantrum. Take care, my young friend. Hope to hear from you soon. Paul R...
Paul Robinson - March 27, 2004 - Report this comment
Forrest E. the way, I DO like The CARS...good group!
Impressed - March 27, 2004 - Report this comment
Paul, you are so cool, I bet you are a great dad.
Paul Robinson - March 27, 2004 - Report this comment
Impressed - Aw garsh! No, seriously, Thanks. Hey, we're all humans and we all pass through the stages of life. Forrest was honest enough to tell me why he didn't like my parody. I respect that, and there's no way that a grown man should pick on a kid over that. But I wanted him to think about it more deeply than that. He's a bright young boy, and we need as many of those (and bright young girls, too, of course) for the future as we can muster up. They need to be able to think and grow and work out problems with each other in a better way than most folks do now. Gotta try, gotta be here for some reason other than to service my own
Forrest Emerine - March 27, 2004 - Report this comment
Sorry, Paul. I should have thought about it first. But I've went to heck and back to fix the print, but did not make any progress... It's my fault the thing is screwed up in the first place... You didn't answer my question about Journey, if you know who Journey is. Last night I was at the local Wal-mart with my family. I was just getting back from my Grandparents' house, three hours away from my home, where my brother stole a motorcycle from my three year old cousin. Grandma said we'd take the motorcycle back to them the next morning before she and my Grandfather took me back home. My brother, who is five, wanted one so badly she gave me money to buy myself a CD and a toy motorcycle for Parker, who's five,2toy motorcycles. But, anyways, while I was looking at an Elton John set of 2 CDs, his greatest hits from '70-'02, for 19.88, a Journey Greatest Hits Live(one CD)for 11.74, and an Essential Journey set of 2 CDs for 23.88. I got Elton John, but which one do you guys think I should have bought? Oh, by the way, parker is my little brother.
Sorry Guys AKA=Bobby Johnny Kaka Loser Stupid Weirdo, or Forrest Emerine - March 27, 2004 - Report this comment
Did I mention my brother was five twice in one sentence?
Paul Robinson - March 27, 2004 - Report this comment
Forrest E. or SGAKABJKLSW? Ahh..yeah, yes did...Not a critical error as I see it. Anyway, 'tis true, forgot to address your question about "Journey" so I shall now - Journey is not one of my favorite groups, although they sound ok. I really can't remember any particular song of theirs. The Elton John double CD from 1970-2002 should be pretty interesting. I liked his earlier works, particularly "Tumbleweed Connection" - I was always fond of "Where To Now, St. Peter?", especially the quirky guitar part in there. I was fortunate when I bought the CD to get a "bonus track" - an extended play version of "Madman Across the Water" that clocks in at just under 9 minutes and features a torrid lead guitar part from Mick Ronson (played later with David Bowie on "The Spiders From Mars, the Ziggy Stardust Band". By ITSELF this cut is worth the price of the CD. I hope your double-CD has it, it's really outstanding. I far prefer it to Title Track version of it from the "Madman Across The Water" Album. But anyway, even without that track I would vote for the Elton John double-CD.
Bub - March 27, 2004 - Report this comment
Looks like someone forgot to turn off the bold tag.
Paul Robinson - March 27, 2004 - Report this comment
Bub - I don't suppose you would have any idea on how to correct that? It seems to have started when Forrest E. started typing a comment in "Pig-Latin" at some point yesterday. I personally have no idea what that would have to do with anything whatsoever, but that's when it started...Let's see: 3:18:29 pm according to the time marking on the comment.
Just Me - March 27, 2004 - Report this comment
Are you just noticing that now, Bubbie!
Bub - March 27, 2004 - Report this comment
I tried to turn it off by just typing lessthan /b greaterthan, but that apparently didn't work. Lemme try again. Any luck?
Bub - March 28, 2004 - Report this comment
Paul Robinson - September 30, 2004 - Report this comment
Well, I don't have any idea why someone would "1-1-1" this parody, it happens to be one of my favorites and I happen to think it's pretty well done. So there....
Adagio - October 01, 2004 - Report this comment
It IS well done...I like it.
Paul Robinson - October 01, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks, Adagio...
raddog20002002 - March 24, 2005 - Report this comment
Great choice for a Parody! How about looking at my parody of the Kansas song?
jerk! - October 08, 2005 - Report this comment
being gay is NOT funny! get a f****** life!
Yes But... - October 08, 2005 - Report this comment
It is queer, er I mean clear, that "Jerk!" is "queerly" jerked off! The parody although is clearly funny. .
Paul Robinson - October 10, 2005 - Report this comment
I guess some people never get the point that a parody can be written from a point of view other than your this case, "Don's" Mother...and I don't say whether "Don" is or isn't...not every parody I write reflects my particular opinion...and no, I don't feel the need to put a disclaimer in front of any and every piece that does NOT reflect my POV...Thanks...

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