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Song Parodies -> "Don't Diet Me, Angelina"

Original Song Title:

"Don't Cry For Me, Argentina"

Original Performer:

Julie Covington

Parody Song Title:

"Don't Diet Me, Angelina"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

The future: Brad Pitt, and Angelina Jolie are married... and Brad Pitt's now a lazy, fat, middle-aged husband. The glamour can't last forever.
It won't be easy
I'll crave for cake
When you try to restrain Happy Meals
But I'll still eat this grub, just as soon as you're gone
I won't relieve jeans
All you can see is that male you once screwed
Although he has doubled in his size
From doughnuts, and bacon, and brew

I don't know how it happened
I can't explain
Couldn't stay from my knife and my veal
Pulling up drive thru window, getting burger on bun
Not French Fries Freedom
Lounging around, like a slug in some goo
Like Jabba, Digesting it all
My hunger's, impressive to you

Don't diet me, Angelina
My tooth can't stand your tofu
Can't take these diet days
No food's existent
Can't keep your plan, miss
Don't be persistent

My gut's misfortune
My gut's a shame
My hunger's delighted in bliss
Busting seams after curls
And my back has perspired
You have delusions
You're nuts!
Your solution's to make me skinny
Disaster, I fear, of worst kind
I love food, you can't deprive me

(Moaning in Pain)
Don't diet me, Angelina

Don't Diet Me, Angelina!!!
The truth is this liver haunts you
Adieu to thinner days!
They're non-existent!
Won't drink your Slim Fast
Please! Keep it distant!

Carrot sticks for lunch?
There's nothing more I can think of that is more, "Ewww!"
But all this rabbit food is bad for me
So on my way to work

Can't Diet Me, Angelina!!!
Yet another part of Stu McArthur's ever expanding Brangelina parody contest at...,17016.0.html

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   5

User Comments

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Red Ant - February 24, 2006 - Report this comment
I had to contract "he has" to "he's" and uncontract the "can't" in the chorus to get the pacing right for me, but those are minor problems. The last 3 lines of the first verse were my favorite.555.
alvin rhodes - February 24, 2006 - Report this comment
nice job
Cat - February 24, 2006 - Report this comment
In addition to what Red Ant said, I would've made "can't" "cannot" in "My tooth can't stand your tofu" to fit the pacing. But no big problems. Very funny.
Stuart McArthur - February 24, 2006 - Report this comment
excellent Matthias - your best, I reckon - loved the re-useof the OS's key words and lines - doing that is the funnest bit about these Argentina parodies - 555
2Eagle - February 25, 2006 - Report this comment
Picky, picky, picky. I bet they prefer snacking on truffles, cavier and brie.
Larry Hensley - February 25, 2006 - Report this comment
Very good, 555s

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