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Song Parodies -> "Part L - Spaff.com"

Original Song Title:

"Don't Cry For Me Argentina"

Original Performer:

Julie Covington

Parody Song Title:

"Part L - Spaff.com"

The Lyrics

For the other 14 instalments, please visit the Parody Authors Page and click on the author name "Brangelina - An Amiright Musical"...........or for the complete manuscript visit this Message Board thread .......................................rightclick here for the Original Song
[ THE BLUE SPOT FADES TO BLACK. THE STAGE IS DARK ]


NARRATOR
Angelina is so distressed that Brad prefers porn to her, that she goes shopping for sexual aids to spice up their sex life. She springs them on Brad one evening. Alas, her strategy backfires (which is cruel, given that "back-firing" IS the strategy)

BRAD
Ange! What the ****? You're already too much WOMAN for me, and now you want to be too much MAN??

ANGE
Oh, stop complaining, Braddles. Just roll over and take it like a man. I'll certainly be GIVING it like one. C'mon, try to find your inner Heath Ledger. It'll be fun. You'll see.


[ A BLUE SPOT FADES UP, HIGHLIGHTING A SINGLE BED IN THE MIDDLE OF AN EMPTY STAGE. BRAD PITT IS UNDER THE SHEETS FACING DOWN, WITH HIS ASS IN THE AIR ]


"Don't Tight-Hole Me, Angelina"
Parody by Spaff.com

BRAD
I'm not that easy
I'm not THAT strange
Though I dumped Jen for you, Ms. Jolie
I did not quite expect - I'd end up in these binds

Though I did Fight Club
That was an act - getting smacked black and blue
But YOU'RE mistressed up to the nines
In six-inch or seven-inch boots

I fear what's gonna happen
Here in this cage
There's a pit in the Pitt of my ME
Babe you're out of this world but - are you out of your mind?!

Though I told Newsweek
That I enjoy - this liaison with you
And I could be tied down again...
I never expected you to!

Don't back-door me, Angelina
The truth is I'd never let you
Though you've got bullwhips
And cuffs that snap on
I've used my safe word
Don't use your strap-on

And as for torture
And as for pain
I've never been thrilled with that stuff
Though you swore you would put - color back in my cheeks
They are contusions!
I might need transfusions - do you stock Type B?
I promise I'm vir-ile enough
Please don't put more MAN into me!

Don't back-door me, Angelina...

Don't tight-hole me, Angelina
The truth is I can't prevent you
Though you like large toys
And always pack one
I'll use my last wish:
Don't use the black one

Have I begged too much?
I'll shut my yap if it means I'll be spared by you
But all I have to do - is hear that buzz
To know what Billy Bob went through

Don't call me James, Angelina

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.2
How Funny: 4.2
Overall Rating: 4.2

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   4
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User Comments

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Spaff.com - March 09, 2006 - Report this comment
Fave Stu moment: "Just roll over and take it like a man. I'll certainly be GIVING it like one. C'mon, try to find your inner Heath Ledger."

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