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Song Parodies -> "Part H - Matthias"

Original Song Title:

"Don't Cry For Me Argentina"

Original Performer:

Julie Covington

Parody Song Title:

"Part H - Matthias"

The Lyrics

For the other 14 instalments, please visit the Parody Authors Page and click on the author name "Brangelina - An Amiright Musical"...........or for the complete manuscript visit this Message Board thread .......................................rightclick here for the Original Song
[ THE BLUE SPOT FADES TO BLACK. THE STAGE IS DARK ]





[ THE BLUE SPOT FADES TO BLACK. THE STAGE IS DARK ]


NARRATOR
Angelina frets that their different musical tastes and demanding schedules might cause Brad to stray. She starts to cling. She tries to control Brad. She tries to regulate what he wears, where he goes, and what he eats.

BRAD
But Ange, I LIKE super-whopper-grizzly-burgers with triple double cheese. And why the ban on donuts, bacon, and super-sizing?

ANGELINA
It's for your own good, honeybuns. It's for OUR good. Oh darling, don't you see? I'm doing this for US! I just want us to be happy, cupcakes.

BRAD
But, how can a man be happy without a super-whopper, Ange?


[ A BLUE SPOT FADES UP, HIGHLIGHTING A SINGLE CHAIR IN THE MIDDLEOF AN EMPTY STAGE. BRAD PITT IS SITTING ON THE CHAIR WITH A SUPER-WHOPPER WRAPPER IN HIS HANDS ]


"Don't Diet Me, Angelina"
Parody by Matthias

BRAD
It won't be easy
I'll crave for cake
When you try to restrain Happy Meals
But I'll still eat this grub, just as soon as you're gone
I won't relieve jeans
All you can see is that male you once screwed
Although he has doubled in his size
From doughnuts, and bacon, and brew

I don't know how it happened
I can't explain
Couldn't stay from my knife and my veal
Pulling up drive thru window, getting burger on bun
Not French Fries Freedom
Lounging around, like a slug in some goo
Like Jabba, Digesting it all
My hunger's, impressive to you

Don't diet me, Angelina
My tooth can't stand your tofu
Can't take these diet days
No food's existent
Can't keep your plan, miss
Don't be persistent

My gut's misfortune
My gut's a shame
My hunger's delighted in bliss
Busting seams after curls
And my back has perspired
You have delusions
You're nuts!
Your solution's to make me skinny
Disaster, I fear, of worst kind
I love food, you can't deprive me

(Moaning in Pain)
Don't diet me, Angelina

Don't Diet Me, Angelina!!!
The truth is this liver haunts you
Adieu to thinner days!
They're non-existent!
Won't drink your Slim Fast
Please! Keep it distant!

Carrot sticks for lunch?
There's nothing more I can think of that is more, "Ewww!"
But all this rabbit food is bad for me
So on my way to work
Fast
Food

Can't Diet Me, Angelina!!!

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.2
How Funny: 4.2
Overall Rating: 4.2

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   4
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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Spaff.com - March 09, 2006 - Report this comment
Fave Stu moment: The blue spot on a single chair in the middle of an empty stage.
Fave Matthias moment: "Won't drink your Slim Fast/Please! Keep it distant!"

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