[ THE BLUE SPOT FADES TO BLACK. THE STAGE IS DARK ]


NARRATOR
Brad ponders the origins of Angelina's wild ways and tries to get her to open up. Afterwards, he asks her again to open up.

ANGELINA
Oh, silly me, is THAT what you meant.well, alright, it's like thisI am SO mad with my father right now!

BRAD
Your father? But why?

ANGELINA
We had a silly disagreement. He wanted to keep living the life he'd always led. Whereas I wanted him to cryogenically freeze his head.
Like Ted Williams's father did. Because THAT was SO cool. But ANYWAY, Father phones up, right?.He whinges about this, he whinges about that


[ A BLUE SPOT FADES UP, HIGHLIGHTING A SINGLE CHAIR IN THE MIDDLEOF AN EMPTY STAGE. JON VOIGHT IS SITTING ON THE CHAIR TALKING INTO A PHONE ]


"Don't Cryo- Me, Angelina"
Parody by John A. Barry

JON VOIGHT
It's kind of freaky; in fact, deranged--
Don't want to know how Ted Williams feels.
I don't want my pate placed in a nitrogen tun,
So please don't freeze me.
Cryogeny I don't think has been proved. . .
Not like freezing a stem-cell line.
I don't want my noggin removed--

My head's to put a hat on. We've been estranged;
Dad-daughter tensions were mounting.
You claim that I wanted you to be born as a son
And thus I eased you
Out of my life, 'cause you didn't want to
Play with me and hit a baseball
Like Ted, whom I loved more than you.

Don't cryo- me, Angelina.
Don't make me of head bereft; you
Won't cut it away
When my existence
Has ceased; please promise,
There's no excisions.

You have attained great fortune and fame,
Though your repertoire's pretty thin.
And now you're angry, girl, at me, by whom you're sired.
In great profusion
You cranked out illusions cinematically,
But none of them nearly as fine
As "Cowboy" with Dustin and me.

Don't cryo- me, Angelina.

Don't cryo- me, Angelina
We each have a statuette; you
Got supporting, hey!
Not bad! You're pissed at
My big "best" Oscar--
You've always dissed that.

So let's keep in touch.
Listen, I know that in the future you want to
Reanimate my head, so to taunt me.
But I now love Ted less than you.

Don't cryo- me, Angelina