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Song Parodies -> "Elect Kerry"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:

Joni Mitchell

Parody Song Title:

"Elect Kerry"

Parody Written by:

Paul Robinson

The Lyrics

Well, gonna get just a wee bit political here now...was surprised no one had used this song for this election so fact no one has used it all for ANYTHING on this site until now...I REALLY must be getting old...Rick D - more from "Blue" for you here.
You need to win in November
George Bush sure is a creep
He really needs to be defeated, Kerry
and then sent packing home
Those Swift Boat ads were sleazy, they were all filled with deceit
We're tired of those lies from old Dick Cheney, they are so corrupt

And John Kerry has got a brain
Unlike clueless Dubyah
who's beneath contempt and a chronic liar

While you were down in the Mekong Delta George Bush joined the Air National Guard
where he drank and then went AWOL and then split to another town
Now he activates reserves; they're now soldiers
and they're threatened by land mines
while this feckless clown lies and spews drivel
and drags our whole country down

All his actions appear insane
He has not delivered
He's worse than his Daddy; that's pretty bad
Yes, he's worse than his Daddy and that's really sad

I don't think George Bush gives a damn
He won't bring the soldiers home
As he rants 'bout Iraq's "Free Elections" while there's no security
We're tired of all his fairy tales now
He must take us all for fools
As he displays contempt for our freedom
Read the "Patriot Act"

While John Kerry has common sense
George Bush makes me shiver
Much worse than his Daddy; that's really sad

We must vote now in November
George Bush we must defeat
You know we must elect John Kerry, people
Send Dubyah back on home
He's been in office way too long
And he has screwed up things beyond belief
Now we need to remove his administration
Tell those wretched jackals "No"

So John Kerry we must elect
I think he'll deliver
Feel that he is honest
will do what's right
Because Dubyah's worse than "Daddy" and that sure does bite

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.0
How Funny: 3.6
Overall Rating: 3.7

Total Votes: 20

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   5
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   14

User Comments

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Robert J. Pagliaro - October 05, 2004 - Report this comment
DKTOS but the prose are certainly accurate. In just a little under a month, it will be a lame-duck fascist regime and we can look forward to Mr. Kerry restoring democracy to this country and to the prosperity enjoyed under the Clinton administration. That stolen election sure has produced nearly four years of hell (and a lot of dead, innocent people). Good work. bob
John Barry - October 05, 2004 - Report this comment
Nice job, Paul. Reminds me of a bathroom grafitto I saw during the Nixon reign, which can be updated to: "If you voted for Bush, you can't shit here, because your asshole is in Washington."
2Eagle - October 05, 2004 - Report this comment
Finally a parody that isn't anti Democrat. Now if you don't understand the reason for California's recall madness look up Pretty Baby.
Paul Robinson - October 05, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks Bob, JB & 2Eagle. I had done a few parodies recently from OS songs on Joni Mitchell's excellent early album "Blue" and was listening to it last night and this one came to me right away. It's a beautiful album, by the way. I thought I only had 6 of the songs on a cassette, but I found this other cassette where I had the entire album, which I recorded from the vinyl LP a couple years after the other tape. They sure made cassette tapes sturdier back in the 70's, although they sure cost a lot more (I remember they were a couple bucks or more EACH back then for blank Maxell cassettes, I found them to be the best). I've still got almost all the ones I recorded from 1977-1978 and they still sound excellent - no noticeable deterioration (I was always a fanatic about rewinding them and taking care of them). As a further trivia note, Stephen Stills played the bass on this song.
Rick D - October 05, 2004 - Report this comment
And acoustic guitar
alvin rhodes - October 05, 2004 - Report this comment
i couldnt agree more...nice job...5s
Melhi - October 05, 2004 - Report this comment
From your lips... nicely done.
Johnny D - October 05, 2004 - Report this comment
Bravo, Paul, bravo!
Paul Robinson - October 06, 2004 - Report this comment
alvin/Melhi/Johnny D - Thanks! Rick D - Thanks, especially for additional "credits'" info., I had not recalled that Stills did the acoustic guitar on it, too, but it's not surprising. On "CSN" (the debut album) he played just about every stringed instrument on it with just a couple small exceptions.
Jady - July 24, 2005 - Report this comment
that was horrible.. who would vote for kerry anyway?!!??!? btw ,Bush had a HIGHER grade point average in yale than kerry.. do a little research before you write something next time? (especialy after hearing it off the media!) Here is the link for one websitte:­/yale_grades_portray_kerry_as_a_lackluster_student?mode=PF Or you can do a search on yahoo for kerry bush grade point and obviously not everyone agreed with you-- because guess who won!
Jady - July 24, 2005 - Report this comment
After posting my last post, i reliezed how old this parody was lol... still bush has a higher gradepoint average than kerry
Paul Robinson - July 24, 2005 - Report this comment
Well, Jady, I'm glad my piece made you check the date,, it's we are in late-July, 2005 and the NOV 2004 Presidential is history...for if you go to a News Archive and start at that Nov. 2004 date and work forward you can judge for yourself if the Nation made a good or poor choice...I won't cheat and give ya' the answer ~ ~ ~
Lola - August 11, 2005 - Report this comment
I think the country benifited from President Bush being re-ellected
? - August 15, 2005 - Report this comment
Lola - HOW?

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