Song Parodies -> A Nationals Disaster
| Original Song Title: | "Both Sides Now" |
| Original Performer: | Joni Mitchell |
| Parody Song Title: | "A Nationals Disaster" |
| Parody Written by: | Stan Hall |
Back when my Nat's opened this season at 1-1 I announced my preparedness to settle for 161-1 by the time October arrived. As season's end now looms, I'm just happy not having to settle for 1-161. Alas, imagine a Nat -- any Nat -- as the voice singing this ditty. :- ( :-)
Of fastballs I have seen a few,
of curves and cutters, change-ups, too,
and splitters, spitters, sliders … oooh,
that I can’t put in play.
Seeming sly as Scaramouche,
hurlers wild as “Nuke” Laloush
throw pitches past me with a whoosh
to notch another “K”.
I’ve strived to clout from both sides now
but swung or stared with knitted brow
while hearing umpires third strikes call …
I’ve really got no clout at all.
And I am no defensive shield,
for, badly as I bat, I wield
my glove yet worse when in the field
(like Buckner’s nightmare day[1]),
routinely dropping routine flies
and granting grounders seeing eyes.
One base or more’s a gimme prize
when balls are hit my way
I’ve tried my glove on both sides now,
at first and third, and I allow
a base on ev’ry batted ball …
I’ve really got no glove at all.
In short, I am a one-man skid
on whose contract no one would bid,
an albatross my team can’t rid
by trading me away.
No matter what or how I try,
to Casey’s query[2] my reply
would have to be “No, Sir, not I” …
there’s nothing more to say.
And baseball fans on all sides now
must surely know this Baseball Tao:
In DC as in Montreal
I really can’t play ball at all.
of curves and cutters, change-ups, too,
and splitters, spitters, sliders … oooh,
that I can’t put in play.
Seeming sly as Scaramouche,
hurlers wild as “Nuke” Laloush
throw pitches past me with a whoosh
to notch another “K”.
I’ve strived to clout from both sides now
but swung or stared with knitted brow
while hearing umpires third strikes call …
I’ve really got no clout at all.
And I am no defensive shield,
for, badly as I bat, I wield
my glove yet worse when in the field
(like Buckner’s nightmare day[1]),
routinely dropping routine flies
and granting grounders seeing eyes.
One base or more’s a gimme prize
when balls are hit my way
I’ve tried my glove on both sides now,
at first and third, and I allow
a base on ev’ry batted ball …
I’ve really got no glove at all.
In short, I am a one-man skid
on whose contract no one would bid,
an albatross my team can’t rid
by trading me away.
No matter what or how I try,
to Casey’s query[2] my reply
would have to be “No, Sir, not I” …
there’s nothing more to say.
And baseball fans on all sides now
must surely know this Baseball Tao:
In DC as in Montreal
I really can’t play ball at all.
[1] Bosox Bucker’s game-losing 10th-inning boot in Game 6 of the ’86 World Series not only opened the door for the Mets’ eventual Series triumph, but he’d gone 0-for-5 in the game, stranding runners each at bat. [2] Casey Stengel, re 1962 Mets “Can’t anybody here play this game”?
© Stan Hall
© Stan Hall
Your Vote Counts
The parody authors spend a lot of time writing parodies for website. They appreciate feedback in the form of votes and comments. Please take some time to leave a comment below about this parody.
|
Place Your Vote
|
| ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | |||||||||||||||||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | |||||||||||||||||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | |||||||||||||||||||||||
| 4 | 0 | 0 | 0 | |||||||||||||||||||||||
| 5 | 4 | 4 | 4 |
User Comments Follow...
Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.
Stan !!!...Where have you been ?
This one speaks to me brother. I remember well the Bill Buckner moment and once mentioned him in one of my parodies (Hotel Boston Common)
You, as well, were mentioned by me a while back... http://www.amiright.com/parody/60s/marypoppinssoundtrack23.shtml
Welcome back...it's great to see Stanny being Stanny
This one speaks to me brother. I remember well the Bill Buckner moment and once mentioned him in one of my parodies (Hotel Boston Common)
You, as well, were mentioned by me a while back... http://www.amiright.com/parody/60s/marypoppinssoundtrack23.shtml
Welcome back...it's great to see Stanny being Stanny
Thanks, IB, and thanks for the pointer to your fabulous "Supercal..." parody--I'd hate to have missed it. Life got too busy for a bit to loll in parodyland but it's nice to have an op to drop back in.
as a baseball fan i ate this one up,....good luck to your nats next year
The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.
Link To This Page
The address of this page is: http://www.amiright.com/parody/70s/jonimitchell27.shtml For help, see the examples of how to link to this page.
This is view # 94








