help me...i'm drunk and crawling
on rum again
when i get that woozy feeling
i know i've drank doubles again
i've drank doubles
cause i'm a sotter and a rotter
and a foul smelling crazy man
and i love my boozing
but don't like the way i'm feeling

help me...i'm tanked and brawling
i swung my fists
i started baiting all the patrons
cause fury seemed to come to pass
and its just i'm high as blazes
and feel like talking trash
and i love my boozing
but don't like the way i'm fighting

started to feel weird
on that barstool a-rocking
just high and nonsense talking
started to feel weird
advanced on a lady
next, my nose, she was socking
started to feel weird
started to feel weird

help me...i'm alcoholic
in love with booze
are you going to let me work it out myself
its such a hard hard thing to do
so i keep skirting around
lurking and slurping
burping too
i love my boozing
but i've seemed to lost my wisdom