Song Parodies -> I Must Be 'Clear' --- See Now

Original Song Title:

"I Can See Clearly Now"

Original Performer:

Johnny Nash

  
Parody Song Title:

"I Must Be 'Clear' --- See Now"

Parody Written by:

Johnny D

This song parody neither condemns nor condones Scientology ... it merely offers a high-level overview, in song-parody-format. I am not a Scientologist, but I always seek to increase my understanding of the wide variety of human religious experience through comparative study ... According to the Church of Scientology, "Clear" is the condition in which one's "Reactive Mind" (i.e., one's accumulated mental-storehouse of self-defeating attitudes, behaviors, and habits) no longer rules one's life; "Thetans" are spiritual entities that attach themselves to human beings and cause metaphysical mischief; and back when the Church's founder L. Ron Hubbard was alive, Church members considered it a great honor to be invited to visit Mr. Hubbard on his private yacht --- an experience that was called "Going Over-The-Rainbow".
I must be "Clear" --- see now --- my pain is gone!
I un-freezed all thoughtsicles in my way!
Gone is my once-loud "Reactive Mind"
It's gonna be a Scie-(Scie-), Scie-(Scie-)'ntology day!

I think I've no "Thetans" now, their pain is gone!
All of their bad feelings have disappeared!
"Over-The-Rainbow" I've been prayin' for!
It's gonna be a Scie-(Scie-), Scie-(Scie-)'ntology day!

"Thetans" abound ---
They're nothin' but rude sprites!

Look in your head ---
Nothin' but rude sprites!

I must be "Clear" --- see now --- I've made it, son!
I can see no obstacles in my brain!
Now I've a strong, proud, and happy mind!
It's gonna be a Scie-(Scie-), Scie-(Scie-)'ntology day!

Look all around ---
Those "Thetans" are rude sprites!

Put straight your head ---
Dustin' some rude sprites!

I must be "Clear" --- see now --- my pain is gone!
I un-freezed all thoughtsicles in my way!
Gone is my once-loud "Reactive Mind"
It's gonna be a Scie-(Scie-), Scie-(Scie-)'ntology day!
It's gonna be a Scie-(Scie-), Scie-(Scie-)'ntology day!
It's gonna be a Scie-(Scie-), Scie-(Scie-)'ntology day!
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Voting Results
Pacing: 5.0
 
How Funny: 5.0
 
Overall Rating: 5.0
 

Total Votes: 8
Voting Breakdown

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User Comments Follow...

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John Barry - August 18, 2005 - Report this comment
Scientology's a religion?
Adagio - August 18, 2005 - Report this comment
Look at your Google ad on the side, about drug addiction.
Michael Pacholek - August 18, 2005 - Report this comment
Cruising to a five, though I wouldn't want to meet a Scientologist in a dark Alley. And if you can work Travolta into a pun, then as imaginations climb, yours is better than mine.
alvin rhodes - August 18, 2005 - Report this comment
thoughtsicles...great...5s
Rick C - August 18, 2005 - Report this comment
Nice turn on the OS. I too liked the "thoughtsicles" 555
Dee Range - August 18, 2005 - Report this comment
555. Don't have much experience with "Clear", except Clearasil...but I have a friend with a hare-lip/cleft palate who went to college at Thetan Hall.....:-))
Dominic L. - August 18, 2005 - Report this comment
Funny 5's
Red Ant - August 19, 2005 - Report this comment
Very good one Johnny D, "thoughtsicles" is funny. Michael P: High TRAVOLTAge perhaps?
Johnny D - August 21, 2005 - Report this comment
Thank you, JB, Adagio, Michael, alvin, Rick C, Dee, Dominic, and Red Ant.

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