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Song Parodies -> "Country Roads, Don't Drive Stoned"

Original Song Title:

"Take Me Home, Country Roads"

Original Performer:

John Denver

Parody Song Title:

"Country Roads, Don't Drive Stoned"

Parody Written by:

Paul Robinson

The Lyrics

Inspired by the High altitude up here in Northern California I have noticed some interesting driving habits of some of the locals. As a cautionary tale and in the same spirit of my earlier warning in "Just A Bong Before I Go", I want all of you to be fully aware of the enhanced dangers that are present when you are driving in an impaired state in an unfamiliar setting while on your vacation or a business trip. So this is not really anything like Shameless Self-Promotion, but rather a sincere and selfless PUBLIC SERVICE to all my friends here on "". You can all thank me later. Enjoy...HEY, EVERYONE --SERIOUSLY -- drive SAFE & SOBER...ALWAYS...
Almost head-on, wasted; scared ya'
Drunken moron driving in my Rover
Rolled it over, ran into a tree
Tumbled down the mountain
I broke both my knees

Country roads, you must drive
safe or you won't get home
Wasted; scares ya', paranoia
Keep your eyes on the road

All my brains are scattered 'round here
Now I'm in shock; drowning in the water
Darkness calls me; I have lost an eye
I can taste my own blood, probably gonna die

Off the road I have gone
Did real damage to my dome
Rolled my Rover; got head trauma
Can't go home; hear me moan

I saw a sign by the road, said "Drive Safely"
I let out a hoot and took another swig of beer
Next thing that I know I've lost control
I'm heading for a cliff and now I fear
The end is near

Off the road I did go
Brains got splattered; broke my bones
Wasted; dared ya'; rolled my Rover
Call my Momma; going home

Off the road you did roll
Did grave damage to your dome
Casket bears ya'
Sad; your Momma
"R.I.P." on your stone.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.4
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   1
 4   2
 5   4

User Comments

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Johnny D - January 13, 2004 - Report this comment
Great job, Paul - 555, and the 5 for "How Funny" is for "Satirical Impact" in this case.

Hey, you might get a chuckle or two out of my own parody of "Take Me Home, Country Roads", called "Cheney's Home, Undisclosed", about our Vice President's secret undisclosed hide-a-way:
Paul Robinson - January 13, 2004 - Report this comment
Johnny D - Thank you much for the vote and the "Funny" score clarifying comment. Yes, there are very deep and grave "gallows humor" implications here. That is often a part of my own personal brand of humor. I do not personally wish to view blood & gore; I generally find that repulsive and not particularly instructive. But I will create imagery to exemplify and if it seems mordant or excessive do know that this is intentional. I wish to shock you here, because it needs to be recognized that these awful things are often the end consequence of negligent or reckless behavior and that the victim(s) of this behavior are often completely innocent bystanders; other motorists and their passengers, your own unaware passengers and loved ones back home and around the globe, pedestrians, Law Enforcement personnel, Emergency workers, Medical Professionals, Taxpayers and on down the human chain. If you don't care enough about your own life and well-being then at least try to consider everyone else. Well, time to get off my soapbox this morning and finish my de-caf. Think how long this would be with regular coffee pulsing that paragraph elongating substance through my brain. I can feel your collective shudders in advance and it chills me to my aching bones.
2nz - January 13, 2004 - Report this comment
Good job, Paul. "driving in my Rover. Rolled it over" was my favorite line. When's the next self promotion class that you were telling me about?
Paul Robinson - January 13, 2004 - Report this comment
2nz - That was it. But there's always another one coming up soon, you can be sure. I had one in mind but wasn't sure if it was too over the top even for me...OH...Thanks to all for the votes so far - and I really do hope you all take the serious message to heart and drive safely.
Meriadoc - January 13, 2004 - Report this comment
"Wasted, scared ya" was a really nice substitute for "West Virginia"! :-D
Royce Miller - January 13, 2004 - Report this comment
Paul-good parody to a good song
Paul Robinson - January 13, 2004 - Report this comment
Meriadoc & Royce - Glad you liked it. Many thanks!
Mari D - January 14, 2004 - Report this comment
I'm with Johnny on the "satirical impact" aspect. Glad you're back at it again!
Peregrin - January 14, 2004 - Report this comment
Top class effort Paul
Claude Prez - January 14, 2004 - Report this comment
Nice job Paul, and thanks for not doing "Don't Fly Stoned". Because that would be wrong.
Paul Robinson - January 14, 2004 - Report this comment
Mari D, Peregrin, Claude Prez, Thanks!!! Good to be back among the posted again. Have spent a little more time looking at stuff from folks I had not checked out much before and, lo and behold; lotsa good stuff, too. OH...Went to the MessageBoard and there was a question from one of the younger folks about the age of the Authors. Current standings (as of my post there 1/13): While there are a couple who MIGHT be older than me they have "declined to state", so right now I am the reigning "Old Fart". Any challengers? You'll have to look at the item over there to know just HOW OLD I am if you don't already know. Would you believe this started out as just a short acknowledgement/thanks of your comments/votes? Well, at this point you probably would believe that. Be back later to look at some other works and comments.
alvin rhodes - March 19, 2004 - Report this comment
good message.....regards from another old fart
Paul Robinson - March 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Alvin, thanks! It's a pleasure to have company in my state of "old-fartitude".
Agrimorfee - May 03, 2004 - Report this comment
AbC Comp..--clever rhyming throughout. 545
Adagio - May 03, 2004 - Report this comment
Good job, Paul! Good entry for the ABC comp. 5's
Johnny D - May 03, 2004 - Report this comment
(ABC) Still love it! Voted and commented earlier, see above.
Paul Robinson - May 03, 2004 - Report this comment
Agrimorfee/Adagio/Johnny D - Thanks! Good luck to you all in the contest, too! I haven't started evaluating the "C" round yet. - May 05, 2004 - Report this comment
This is a smash. Fave sub: "Almost head-on" for "Almost heaven."
Paul Robinson - May 06, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks, Spaff. Gosh, I thought I send this reply yesterday.
Peregrin - May 07, 2004 - Report this comment
I know I had already briefly commented on this, but I had another listen and I think this is superb!
Paul Robinson - May 07, 2004 - Report this comment
Per - Thanks again. Glad you enjoyed it.
John Jenkins - May 12, 2004 - Report this comment
Very poignant parody. Definitely more melancholy than humorous, but I liked the grave damage line.
Paul Robinson - May 13, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks, John
Claude Prez - May 13, 2004 - Report this comment
Once again, I've erred. Commented without voting the first time; sorry. Well done.
neminem - May 13, 2004 - Report this comment
There's something called black humor. This defines it. You get 5s. Amusingly enough, one of my dad's friends insists that he drives better stoned. Considering that he lives about 10 miles up into the mountains on a fairly nasty road to drive, and he hasn't ever gotten into an accident despite testing this theory a fair number of times, he seems to have a point. *I* sure wouldn't want to try it, though.
Claude Prez - May 13, 2004 - Report this comment
Ooh, I worked with a manager at a pizza place who was ALWAYS stoned, and she was AMAZINGLY EFFECTIVE; I've never seen anyone work that quickly or well-focused. Go figure.
Paul Robinson - May 16, 2004 - Report this comment
Claude & Nem - thanks. Well, you know it's possible - some folks are able to focus alright when they are zapped. Not I, however. Back in the early 70's a roommate & I got into the habit of smoking a "j" every morning along with a cup of coffee made from freshly ground beans from "the base of Mount Kilimanjaro". Boy, where we out of it! Then we'd drop his old lady off at her job as a coffee shop waitress and sometimes have breakfast there. There were some police officers doing their "code 7" meal break a couple boths away and they were talkking about some folks they pulled over that morning who were "HUA". We were curious but a little reluctant to interrupt their conversation for somewhat obvious reasons, but we had the girlfriend ask what that was. Turns out it was short-hand for "Head-up-*ass". We probably qualified. We waited until they left before we went home. My roommate did drive very well under those conditions but I still got a little paranoid now & again.

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