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Song Parodies -> "Fightin’ with Neat German Toys"

Original Song Title:

"Thank God I'm a Country Boy"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

John Denver

Parody Song Title:

"Fightin’ with Neat German Toys"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

Germany first fielded the IDZ Supersoldier gear in the Balkans for testing and completed Phase I which added new helmet, armor, data pads and chest computer with aerial, new high-tech small arms and missiles, specialized assault craft, special optronic gear, nav aids, and most of all- the beginnings of a new phase of fully integrated warfare. Now EADS is pioneering Phase II with more tech and using ACRs (Autonomous Combat Robots) while deciding how to divide the German Army up into 3 Jager (Hunter) Groups that will be able by Phase 3 to command ALL German and Euro-weapon systems on air, land, and sea under full electronic integration with fighting and battle assessment performed in real-time. The goal is a highly mobile aerospace soldier integrated with all weapon systems and functioning as one unit whether that be Feldjaeger, Fallschirmjaeger, or Gebirgsjaeger. The "toys" already exist with even more futuristic weapons in development including plasma weaponry, MFWs, KKVs, ACRs, and entire wheeled and tracked AFVs from KMW...
21st century German attack
Bundeswehr IDZ Supersoldier’s back
High-tech surprise, EADS combo-pack
Fightin’ with neat German toys

HK MP-7 as the PDW sidearm
Others use Mod G-36s that work like a charm
Fiber-optic sight system with display alarm
Fightin’ with neat German toys

Polyphenol Titan helm fits tight a little
Articulated armor is bulky in the middle
The high-tech data pads can be quite a riddle
Fightin’ with neat German toys

The training is on and the troops on the go
Old-fashioned fighting is now obsolete don’t you know?
“Elektronischekrieg” puts on quite a show
Fightin’ with neat German toys

New integrated warfare works like it should
And the history of German tech is so very good
Real-time assessment, with all goals understood
Fightin’ with neat German toys

Polyphenol Titan helm fits tight a little
Articulated armor is bulky in the middle
The high-tech data pads can be quite a riddle
Fightin’ with neat German toys

German Jaeger Gruppen, well they got all the tools
Command of each German waffe that they will all use
Integrating air, land, and sky- bendin’ the rules
Fightin’ with neat German toys

IDZ soldiers mated to high-tech machines
Phase 3 leadin’ in direction unforeseen
“Fluidic Battle”, just who knows what that means?
Fightin’ with neat German toys

Polyphenol Titan helm fits tight a little
Articulated armor is bulky in the middle
The high-tech data pads can be quite a riddle
Fightin’ with neat German toys

In the future, German soldiers with robots by their side
And command of waves of UCAVs flying in the skies
Commanding every weapon with voice-command pride
Next-Gen of German soldier boys

Old Nazi Blitzkrieg gives way to this new form of battle
Jaeger Groups will function like integrated cattle
World War 3 in the future, gear will help them to handle
Fightin’ with neat German toys

Polyphenol Titan helm fits tight a little
Articulated armor is bulky in the middle
The high-tech data pads can be quite a riddle
Fightin’ with neat German toys

Fightin’ with neat German toys…

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 13

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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User Comments

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Susanna Viljanen§ - May 23, 2012 - Report this comment
Some issues with pacing, but otherwise nice. Germans aren't just toy soldiers, they also have excellent training. Combine these two, and you are happy you are on the same side as you.
Porfle Popnecker - May 23, 2012 - Report this comment
Excellent job.
Rob Arndt - May 23, 2012 - Report this comment
Thanks Susanna for giving me the inspiration to write this. I KNEW there was no real way to mix German tech and language into a John Denver country song, but I think the knowledge was worth it. Also, thanks Porfle. I know there is a lot of tech info to process and I didn't go through some of the anagrams and German terms: MFW (Magnetic Field Weapon), KKV (Kinetic Kill Vehicle), ACR (Autonomous Combat Robot), "Electronischekrieg= Electronic War, waffe= weapon, Jaeger= Soldier (literally hunter), Gruppen- groups. PDW is Personal Defense Weapon. IDZ is Ifanterist der Zukunft (Future Infantry) and UCAV is Unmanned Combat Aerial Vehicle...

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