It's a long way from Maybach or Bentley
It's a bad car to drive near the rich
It's an old junk car, my Aspen in Starwood
An old, trashy Mopar hoopty rig
Oh, my old trashy Mopar hoopty rig

Skiers are comin' in daily
Rich folks cussin’ me out
I can't remember when I've ever been so a-shamed
I hate my old puke-green sedan
I wanna torch that old puke-green sedan

But I think about Hummers and Porsches
I think about Audis and Cads*
I hate my old car, my Aspen in Starwood
My neighbors have megabuck cars
Oh, I want a new megabuck car

And I tell you, I hate my Dodge Aspen
It guzzles gas, and leaks it too
For I see here the rust in the floorboards
And I’m smelling exhaust smoke and mold
I am sick of exhaust smoke and mold

I have just bought an SL McLaren*
A Mercedes that goes very fast
I scrapped my old car, my Aspen in Starwood
That old, trashy Mopar hoopty rig
No, I don’t miss my old hoopty car