Song Parodies -> My Boss Is a Hemorrhoid

Original Song Title:	"Thank God I'm A Country Boy"
Original Performer:	John Denver

Parody Song Title:	"My Boss Is a Hemorrhoid"
Parody Written by:	Mark Scotti

For all those disgruntled workers out there...

Well life on my job is just watch your back
It's not the daily grind that we can't hack
Early to the desk, or you'll just get sacked
My boss is a hemmerroid

He's an arrogant prick, and he means to do harm
Gotta gun in my desk, and I gotta rearm
The door to my office needs a silent alarm
My boss is a hemorrhoid

Chorus:
Well he jokes that my wife looks funny in the middle
When as he yells in your face you get lots of his spittle
He makes your life seem very very little
My boss is a hemorrhoid

Well we work real hard til the suns gettin low
My day is now ending and I'm startin to go
The jerk shouts out with another low blow
My boss is a hemorrhoid

Well I'd smack him once or twice every day if I could
But the law and my wife said that's not very good
I should shoot him like a deer, strap him to the hood
My boss is a hemorrhoid

Chorus:
He makes my work life hell, and he's always in the middle
His quality of life gives us very very little
Maybe cook him in a pot and give the dog some vittles
My boss is a hemorrhoid

Well if I had his life I wouldn't be a fool
I wouldn't treat my workers like a big bunch of fools
I'd give them all raises for following the rules
My boss is a hemorrhoid

I'd give them all use of his black limousine
I'd earn their respect by knowin what they mean
And if he worked for me he'd get a lot less green
My boss is a hemorrhoid

Chorus:
Well his anger all around is like some kind of riddle
Like to hit him in the head with a cast iron griddle
Take a knife to his head and just start to whittle
My boss is a hemorrhoid

Well I'll whittle on his head till he is a new man
And he listens to our words, not a flash in the pan
A life in our office just the way we planned
My boss is a hemorrhoid

Chorus:
Well our fantsies now just get us very little
He'll be a prick to the end and there's nothing in the middle
Just deal with his crap but keep dreamin of the whittle

My boss is a hemorrhoid
My boss is a hemorrhoid

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AFW - February 16, 2009 - Report this comment

Top job...great subject..everybody wants to bash a boss a little...loved the whittle on the head bit..lol

Mark Scotti - February 16, 2009 - Report this comment

Thanks, AFW!!!!!!!!

Tim Hall - February 16, 2009 - Report this comment

Great application of Preparation P (parody)

Mark Scotti - February 16, 2009 - Report this comment

Thanks, Tim!!

alvin - February 16, 2009 - Report this comment

hilarious...and one that i'm sure many can relate to

Mrk Scotti - February 16, 2009 - Report this comment

Thanks, Alvin!

Andria - February 16, 2009 - Report this comment

Great parody, Mark, and I think everybody has had a boss like this at least once in their life. Teachers, deans and principals can also be like that. 5s.

Mark Scotti - February 16, 2009 - Report this comment

Thanks, Andria!!!!!

TT - May 06, 2009 - Report this comment

As we say in German, "Das hot recht-um!" ("That's right", twisted a bit). Nice title switch -- once again.

Mark Scotti - May 06, 2009 - Report this comment

Danke, Von Turtle!!!

Silver Power - July 15, 2009 - Report this comment

I DKTOS, but I liked the parody, it was really funny. Work sucks, but you gotsta make dat scrilla, ya feel me fam?

Mark Scotti - July 15, 2009 - Report this comment

Thanks SP! It was a very country upbeat chant from John Denver that fit very well into this look at work hell...

Agrimorfee - July 24, 2009 - Report this comment

I liked it Mark...too bad you missed entering Below Average Dave's John Denver Artistry Competition Round (see the messageboard under Song Parody Contests). You would have ranked quite high there, methinks. 555

Mark Scotti - July 24, 2009 - Report this comment

Thanks, Agri! I have to check out those competitions more.

Guy - July 26, 2009 - Report this comment

(ABC05M)

Teacher - Class your ASSignment was to learn about your parents jobs and give an oral report on it.
Student Rotten Johnny - My dad works in an office and his boss is a jerk.
Teacher - How does your father handle that?
Student Rotten Johnny - He wants to bring a gun to work and shoot him in his ass.
Teacher - You mean rectum.
Student Rotten Johnny - Wrecked him? Hell, he wants to kill him.

One thing I have learned during my working career - at some point either you or your boss will move on. I've only had about two supervisors that fit the character in your parody. I have been fortunate. The first one aged out of the military and I thanked the brass for the concept of up or out - he was so screwed up and stupid he couldn't get promoted so he had to retire at 23 years. And talking about guns when I first started working for him he wanted to join my buddies and me on a Saturday small game hunting outing. He showed up at my house with a shot gun and a 22 pistol strapped to his side. He sat down in a swivel rocking type chair and the gun discharged burning the right cheek of his posterior. I thought - what kind of idiot takes a pistol when hunting?

Great parody & great concept. Well done.

Timmy1000 - July 26, 2009 - Report this comment

(ABC) I don't care for John Denver, but thought the parody was just hilarious and lots to relate too. I knew several in my job that would utter your sentiments from the parody, but were promoted and somehow changed into your "boss" from above, like they went to evil boss class. Great write on this one.

blackjack21 - July 26, 2009 - Report this comment

Just got a read of this, verry funny stuff Mark. Could have been written by Dilbert, I think. :-D

The person who voted '3' for How Funny is a boss with pointy hair. ;-)

Christie Marie M - July 26, 2009 - Report this comment

I can relate to this parody! It takes me back to the time I used to work at Shop Rite for 6 years. My boss on Shop Rite treats everybody like crap! However, it's not just the bosses that give people a hard time, it's also fellow co-workers as well. I also agree with Andria's comments as well. There are also top employees who even act like bosses to kiss up to the highest level chain of command and I can't stand people like that! I can also consider my boss a hemorrhoid, too! I also heard people singing songs about their boss being a jerk which I found funny, but left people wondering what if their boss hears that! Funny parody and use of the word "hemorrhoid" to describe the boss! 555 Preparation H's for this one!

Mark Scotti - July 26, 2009 - Report this comment

Thanks Guy, and GREAT JOKE, LOL!!! Thanks Tim. It is a very hillbillie John Dender song, but it sure had great pacing for this kind of rant. To tell you the truth, I never have worked for a boss like that. but I have seen plenty of them! Thanks, Blackjack, LOL(does seem like a Dilbert!) Thanks, Christie and yes, there are MANY bosses out there that fit that word WELL!!

Max Power - August 03, 2009 - Report this comment

Great

Mark Scotti - August 03, 2009 - Report this comment

A whittle of thanks to you, Max!

Leo Keough - August 06, 2009 - Report this comment

ABC5(M)...Lots of funny lines, great pacing, great rhyming!!!...Just hope you're not self-employed!...555!!!

Mark Scotti - August 06, 2009 - Report this comment

Thanks Leo, you have the day off on me!!!

Matthias - August 06, 2009 - Report this comment

We've all been there before with the crappy boss I mean, not having a wife who looks funny in the middle, lol. This was a great parody and to a song that's pretty tough to work on, and I also got a kick out of you calling your boss a "hemorrhoid" (which was a great sub by the way)

Mark Scotti - August 06, 2009 - Report this comment

Happy Hour of thanks to you, Matthias!

Leo Keough - August 06, 2009 - Report this comment

Mark, I was once in a sales meeting where they were trying to get everyone to do a better job of selling the most difficult-to-sell product they offered. At the time, I was the top seller of that product. My boss stood up and told everyone, "If Leo can do it, then any one of you ought to be able to do it, too". I turned in my resignation right after the meeting was over.

Below Average Dave - August 06, 2009 - Report this comment

One thing I caught, because I've done it by accident is you rhymed fool with fools. . .which technically you can't do, but other than that the rhyming was good. It loved the title sub, but have to admit the lines seemed to keep a bit much of TOS's rhymes for me without really incorporating your idea into it. Also very little example of why your boss is a hemorrhoid, much more what you want to hurt him with. . .love the title sub, but I'm afraid the parody itself wasn't quite what I hoped for. . .good job with the rhyming in general though.

Mark Scotti - August 06, 2009 - Report this comment

New hired thanks to you, Leo! New editor thanks to you, Dave. I caught that exact rhyme myself AFTER submitting(I meant to use "wouldn't be a tool"), but I felt it wasn't worth resubmitting. I thought I put numerous examples of why the baoo was bad; Well he jokes that my wife looks funny in the middle When as he yells in your face you get lots of his spittle He makes your life seem very very little also My day is now ending and I'm startin to go The jerk shouts out with another low blow and He makes my work life hell, and he's always in the middle

bobpiecheese - August 07, 2009 - Report this comment

(ABC5) When I get a job, I hope my boss isn't a haemorrhoid, metaphorically or literally. Especially not literally. A little more explanation on the why (he's a haemorrhoid) and less on the how (you wanna hurt the sod) would've made it that much better. Yes, I'm using the British/Aussie spelling of hemorrhoid, sue me. 555!

Mark Scotti - August 07, 2009 - Report this comment

Well put(like Preparation H)! LOL, Thanks, Bob...

Red Ant - August 20, 2009 - Report this comment

My boss isn't just a hemorroid, he's also an assh0le. Very good write, I liked the line "Take a knife to his head and just start to whittle" the best. I never noticed before, but this song scans fairly well to the Macarena.

Mark Scotti - August 20, 2009 - Report this comment

LOL!!! It sure does(Macarena..)! Thanks, Red Ant

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Song Parodies -> My Boss Is a Hemorrhoid

"Thank God I'm A Country Boy"

John Denver

"My Boss Is a Hemorrhoid"

Mark Scotti

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