My girl can suck lime from a bottle
Tie cherry stem knots with her tongue
That's so cool you might say
But it's really dull every day
She learned it when quite young

My girl has some musical talent
She can sing right out of her ass
I'd laugh ev'ry day if it weren't so queer
Oh dear, to start , she passes gas

And she doesn't seem to be very bright
Some simple things she just can't do
And I've asked her
She looks at me as if to show
That I'm the one who doesn't know
Which irks me

She lacks a formal education
Yet always she's getting high praise
I'd find it not funny
If not for the money
The circus has offered a raise

And she doesn't seem to be very bright
Some simple things she just can't do
And I've asked her
She looks at me as if to show
That I'm the one who doesn't know
Which irks me