Well, the Laugh Fact’ry in LA
Is the baddest nightclub pick,
But if you go down there,
You’d better just beware
Of a man named Andy Dick.
Well, Andy looks for trouble.
You see, he drinks a lot, drugs, and smirks.
All the nightclub comics call him “Prince of Darkness”;
All the folks just call him “jerk”.

And he’s bad, bad Andy Dick:
Tells weird jokes that will make you sick,
Sicker than Andrew Clay,
And meaner than-a Simon Cow’ll.

Well, Andy, he’s a jokester
And he likes his risky quips
And he likes to wave his nasty tongue
In front of everybody’s lips.
He’s got a head of golden ringlets.
He’s got some Woody Allen specs.
He’s got a Baggie of snow in his pocket to blow.
He’s got some scrawny, scrawny pecs.

And he’s bad, bad Andy Dick:
Tells weird jokes that will make you sick,
Sicker than Andrew Clay,
And meaner than-a Simon Cow’ll.

Well, Wednesday at the Factory,
Andy’s getting blitzed,
And at the edge of the stage stood a man named Lovitz,
And, ooo, that man got pissed!
You see, Andy shot his mouth off,
And Lovitz reached his end,
And Andy Dick, he learned some lessons about joking
‘Bout the death of a murdered friend.

And he’s bad, bad Andy Dick:
Tells weird jokes that will make you sick,
Sicker than Andrew Clay,
And meaner than-a Simon Cow’ll.

Well, Jon Lovitz took to punching
And when they pulled them from the bar
Andy looked like a bruised tomato
With a couple of bleeding scars.

And he’s bad, bad Andy Dick:
Tells weird jokes that will make you sick,
Sicker than Andrew Clay,
And meaner than-a Simon Cow’ll.

And he’s bad, bad Andy Dick:
Tells weird jokes that will make you sick,
Sicker than Andrew Clay,
And meaner than-a Simon Cow’ll.

Yeah, he’s sicker than Andrew Clay,
And meaner than-a Simon Cow’ll.