Well The Beach Here In New Jersey
Is The Funny Part Of Town
And If Go Down There Girls
You Better Just Beware
Of A Man Named Allen Brown

Now Allen Is Very Troubled
He Standed Like Seven Feet Tall
All The Ladies Say He's Like Manute Bol
All The Men Say He's Like Elton John

And He's Bad Bad Allen Brown
The Baddest Man Who Acts Likes A Clown
Funny Like The Old Bob Hope
Crazy Than The Three Stooges

Now Allen He A Lover
And He Like His Fancy Glasses
And He Like To Wave His American Flag
In Front Of Old Canadians
He Got A Lincoln Continental
He Got A Corvette Too
He Got 99 Agents In His Office For Fun
He Got A Razor In His Shoe

REPEAT CHORUS

Now Friday 'Bout A Week Ago
Allen Eatin' Rice
And At The Edge Of The Bar
Saw A Girl Named Lindsey
And Oo That Girl Looked Nice
Well He Cast His Eyes Upon The Car
And The Trouble Soon Began
'Cause Allen Brown Took A Weapon
For Killing A Lion When He Was Scared

REPEAT CHORUS

Well The Lion Cub Came Over
Saw The Parents Both Dead
Allen Came To The Area
With Cuts All Over His Face