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Song Parodies -> "Mitt's Not Christian (Vote For Jesus)"

Original Song Title:

"I'm Not Lisa"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Jessi Colter

Parody Song Title:

"Mitt's Not Christian (Vote For Jesus)"

Parody Written by:

Hu's On First

The Lyrics

Imagine this as being sung by Bill Keller, the televangelist who has been urging Christians to write-in Jesus Christ on the presidential ballot in 2012. He argues that a vote for Romney is a vote to send millions of Americans' souls to hell (since a Romney presidency would likely make Mormonism a lot more popular, and Keller believes all Mormons are servants of Satan).
Mitt's no Christian
He's just a Mormon
Mormons are Satanic cult
Obama's no good
So I say we should
Write in Christ for president

Barack's for 'borting kids
Such bad things he has did
But those kids go
To heaven anyway

Now Mitt, he might be worse
This country he will curse
Four million he'll lead straight down to hell, well
Morm? Sulfur you'll smell
Forever, ever

Mitt's not Christian, don't vote for Mormon
Vote for Jesus in the fall
This country is doomed
Unless we make room
In White House for the carpenter

Mitt's not Christian
This is Keller's website Could Jesus swing the election to Obama in November?

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Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 3

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User Comments

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Brock O'Brahma - August 24, 2012 - Report this comment
Saw this theme a few weeks ago, so again, the democrats and lamestream media say: "A vote for Jesus is a vote for yet another pro-life, anti-gay marriage candidate who is riding on his daddy's coattails".
John Barry - August 24, 2012 - Report this comment
An amiright-in vote?
Jesus - August 24, 2012 - Report this comment
I would have a problem producing a birth certificate as a US citizen ....

Not sure whether you're satirizing Keller or agreeing with him, so won't vote (for now; Judgment later.) But Mormons do in fact accept Me as their Lord and Savior, so not sure just how much more Christian one can get.

Interesting: The State that is practically run by the Church of Jesus Christ (That's Me! ) Of Latter-Day Saints (LDS or Mormon), namely, Utah, has the lowest rate of juvenile delinquency, per capita, of any state in the US.
Meriadoc - August 24, 2012 - Report this comment
Obviously a satire and a very funny one at that. 'Borting kids verse was quite funny. I can imagine a preacher saying it...
Brock O'Brahma - August 25, 2012 - Report this comment
What's up, Jesus? Fancy seeing You here on Amiright! While You're here, can You change my fodder to rhyme?
Jesus - August 25, 2012 - Report this comment
Haven't I done enough miracles already?
Peregrin - August 25, 2012 - Report this comment
That may be so, but not lately. Surely by now you've had enough of a rest. Show yourself!
Brock O'Brahma - August 26, 2012 - Report this comment
LOL!!!
Jesus @ Peregrin - August 26, 2012 - Report this comment
I suppose I *could* bring peace on Earth, end famine and disease, etc. But changing Brock's fodder to ryhyme? Dost thou not think that this request maketh the deadly sin of "greed"?
Jesus @ Brock O'Brahma - August 27, 2012 - Report this comment
Very well, then....

"In the name of the Fodder, the Pun, and the Hole-y Roast..."

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