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Song Parodies -> "Hope Martha's Not Homely Tonight"

Original Song Title:

"Don't Let Me Be Lonely Tonight"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

James Taylor

Parody Song Title:

"Hope Martha's Not Homely Tonight"

Parody Written by:

Jeff Reuben

The Lyrics

Stand up to English might,
Cross the Delaware by night,
But coming home I am filled with fright,
I hope Martha's not homely tonight

Join Sam--John Adams for swill
(Oh) To be the first president, yes, it's quite a thrill,
But I'd give up the dollar bill,
If Martha wasn't homely tonight.

Way back when we first met
Martha Custis was a tease
My friends tried to warn me, my new girlfriend had fleas
Jefferson chided that her head was lopsided
But I just took the first girl I found.

Cannot lie, that you'll see (you reek baby),
Told dad that I chopped down his cherry tree
Can't get past her horse-faced overbite (overbite),
So get bags for her head, turn off the light
Looks like she lost another bar fight.
I guess that poor Martha's still homely tonight.

Maybe I'll hit on Jefferson's wife

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 32

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 1
 0
 
 2   1
 1
 1
 
 3   0
 0
 1
 
 4   2
 0
 0
 
 5   29
 30
 30
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Rick C - August 15, 2006 - Report this comment
Lots of great lines but, the closer floored me! 555
AFW - August 15, 2006 - Report this comment
Funny history spoof, with many funny lines..
tomario - August 15, 2006 - Report this comment
DECATHLON a right old chuckle fest nice one
alvin rhodes - August 15, 2006 - Report this comment
infotainment
2Eagle - August 15, 2006 - Report this comment
That's something to take back to school.
John Barry - August 15, 2006 - Report this comment
I cannot tell a lie: this is damn funny.
Stuart McArthur - August 16, 2006 - Report this comment
"But I'd give up the dollar bill" - LOL! - and if she was this homely I can't believe she wasn't more lonely - 555 - (great last line too)
Kristof Robertson - August 16, 2006 - Report this comment
(DEC1) "Jefferson chided that her head was lopsided"...that's SO harsh, JefferReubenson...but funny as all get out. LOLOL! 555
Josh 2 - August 17, 2006 - Report this comment
A triplet of 5s for you sir
Matthias - August 20, 2006 - Report this comment
Who wouldn't hit on Jefferson's wife, that babe is ALMOST, and very very very very ALMOST as cute as Arwen!
Johnny D - August 23, 2006 - Report this comment
(Decathlon) George Washington slept here ... and there ... and over there ... and in due time ... he became The Father of Our Country.
bobpiecheese - August 25, 2006 - Report this comment
(Decathlon - Event 1) Um...what? Guess I need to catch up on my American history.
Stuart McArthur - August 25, 2006 - Report this comment
(decath1) see above, and what could George have been thinking?
Arwen - August 28, 2006 - Report this comment
DECATHLON...I swear I'd read this before...where's my comment? =( Oh well, I'll say it now...I love this, Jeff! Very very funny...and the perfect punchline there at the end!
leo jay - August 31, 2006 - Report this comment
Brilliant. "chided/lopsided" and "I'd give up the dollar bill" are choice. If you had only managed to work in "for her I'm not yearnin', I'd rather mount Vernon", I'd have given you a 6-6-6, but alas I have to knock you down a peg. :-P
The Charnstar - September 09, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I only kinda get it, being Australian and all... but I'll trust my instincts and give ya 5s
Agrimorfee - September 12, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Pretty good, even if DKTOS. A favorite line: "Jefferson chided that her head was lopsided."
Chris Bodily TM - September 12, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) The "Jefferson's wife" line is classic, man. Are you sure you weren't talking about Weezy? Anyway, you were right all along, you ARE the Master of the Historical Parody. At first I thought Martha was that (censored) on TV who went to prison. That would've been funny, too. Excellent job! 555
Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd - September 17, 2006 - Report this comment
SOTM - No wonder he went to war, anything to get out of the spouse... ehh house.
Cat - September 17, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I cannot tell a lie, Jeff...this was brilliant!
wannabemustangjockey - September 18, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Too bad he didn't live long enough to go after Madison's wife, I hear that Dolly was hot.
Michael McVey - September 21, 2006 - Report this comment
Dude, I'm related (albeit distantly) to Martha Washington! 5's anyway. -- MM
Jack Wilson - September 22, 2006 - Report this comment
LOL awesome, 5s!
Tim Mayfield - September 24, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) This was funny.
Rick C - September 25, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Still lots of great lines, ie, "Jefferson chided that her head was lopsided." The last line still floors me though.
Johnny D - September 25, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) See above, my fellow AmIRightians!
bobpiecheese - September 26, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) See above...at least it's not MY fault that I know zilch about American history...blame my school.
Stuart McArthur - September 27, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I've alreday quoted my favourite lines above, and I now add "Jefferson chided that her head was lopsided" - lol, Jeff
Kristof Robertson - September 28, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Ah yes, your first decathlon entry, and if I remember, the one that almost got away. Glad it didn't
FiFi - September 30, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Nice usage of history, I think....anyways, nice job
Matthias - January 27, 2009 - Report this comment
A political peice that I actually like and found hilarious!!! It fits the theme scrapping by at the wooden teeth, because George Washington the singer of this ballad was famous. Great work here Jeff.
tomario - January 27, 2009 - Report this comment
oh the benefits of a quality back catalogue. great work.
Agrimorfee - January 28, 2009 - Report this comment
(Ages2) It's a lot of fun to be able to revisit old works, for my vantage point, thanks to the advent of Youtube. That being said, this was pretty darn funny, but I had trouble reading along to Taylor's pacing. It's not quite up to the topic proscribed either, but yours is the first in this round I'm looking at, so it's not a shutout for you yet.
bobpiecheese - February 07, 2009 - Report this comment
(Ages2) See above...and I still have no idea what's going on. Props for using this parody again instead of writing a new one,
Arwen - February 10, 2009 - Report this comment
AGES...still so funny, Jeff...and is there anyone more famous than GW? I don't think so...love it!
Melanie Lee - February 10, 2009 - Report this comment
(Ages) Sorry, but this one totally turned me off. I like that you chose a famous person of way back when. But the homely jokes I found boring, trying, and unfunny. Okay, I did half-smile a couple of times. Your pacing seemed a bit off, too. 4-2-3.
Invisible Boy - February 11, 2009 - Report this comment
(Ages) This was a chucklefest for me , Jeff. So wrong and yet so right
Below Average Dave - February 11, 2009 - Report this comment
(Ages) I found this one pretty funny, and since I was not around when this one was in SOTM it was my first read of it. Hope your daughter is OK, hope everything is OK. . . .

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