There's something in the way she moos
She'll graze all day, each night's the same
It seems to me she's doubled her behind
Her last name is Hindenberg
She's tethered 'cept for TV games
To fly her's cheap, she gets gas when she dines

She looks bovine, anytime, she's around me now
Weighs around a cow
Give or take a dime
If she fell, you can tell, there's a whole there now
Big as a motel now
Eats a long long time
Yea she feeds fine

Every now and then the things she leans on crush completely
The replacement costs deplete me
There's restaurants where they will not let us go
She has the stomach to close them down, but don't remind me
She could fall on me and grind me
Into sausages or goulash, don't you know, oh no

It's quite a load she's got to weigh
Feel for the truck scales where she's been
To me the scales are broke, the way they sound
I hate to hear them groan that way
There's never been fatter, that they've seen
I hate to pay the overage, by the pound

She looks bovine, anytime, she's around me now
Weighs around a cow
Give or take a dime
If she fell, you could tell, there's a hole there now
Big as a motel now
For a long long time
Yes, but she's all mine