In my mind I'm one of the Three Stooges
Sometimes I'm the Moe guy
Sometimes the Curly Joe guy
But everyone seems to wonder why
I act so weird sometimes
They don't know I'm with the Stooges in my mind

Larry, he's a silly one
He get's on Moe's nerves all the time
Get's kicked and falls down to the ground
Then Moe twists on his ear;
Then Larry's shouting;
"Please don't twist my ear if you don't mind"

There ain't no doubt that Moe's unkind
He loves to boss the other's 'round
Kicks and trips them all the time
Then maybe he'll poke their eyes
While saying, "Nyuck, nyuck,
You imbeciles are messed up in your minds"

In my mind I'm one of the Three Stooges
When I'm not the Moe guy
I could be the Curly Joe guy
Or Larry, the frizzy-headed guy
Moe kicks them from behind
Yes, I'm hangin' with the Stooges in my mind

Moe's quite violent and uptight
Think he might just hurt somebody soon
Bares his teeth and starts to bite
At times he'll begin growling
He's beyond controlling
He bites the other Stooges from behind

Then mean old Moe he bopped my nose; I see stars all around
Now I find I'm whooping like a loon
And it looks like this abuse will just go on forever
It drives me crazy
So, I'm stranglin' that damned Moe guy from behind

(COURTROOM SCENE - Sanity Hearing at Murder Trial)

(Judge): "In your mind you think you're in the Stooges
Now you must be confined
That man you killed wasn't Moe, guy"
So now I know when I hear that line
That says, "Justice is blind"
It's because some fruitcake poked out both her eyes